Fingers Crossed

About a year ago, North Carolina voted to approve a constitutional amendment that bans same-sex marriage. When I read the news that day, my stomach dropped, and without meaning to, I said, out loud, "Oh no."

The kids asked me what happened and I explained it to them. We talk quite a lot about this in our family, so this wasn't a new topic for them, but it was breaking news about a specific state's vote on the issue.

See, over 4 years ago, the Prop 8 campaign in California already sickened me. And here it was, years later, and the news from North Carolina highlighted that with regard to civil rights, rather than progressing as a nation and as human beings, things were regressing.

I've always felt strongly about equal rights, even as a child. People sometimes say, "Why do you care? You're not gay." My response to that is, "I'm not black either, but I have always felt passionately against racism and have ached for people who have been on the receiving end of hatred and inequality."

Our whole family was upset by the news from North Carolina this past May. The kids went up to bed and within minutes, Thing 1 came downstairs with a hand-written letter, set it between me and Mark, and said, "I want to send this." She wrote the following letter completely on her own:

The next day, President Barack Obama went on television in support of gay marriage. We have felt immensely proud of our daughter for being so forward-thinking and expressing her support, even before the President himself did.

She has sent this letter out to several politicians, both locally and nationally. We have actively supported groups that fight for gay rights. We have seriously considered marching in Washington this week. We have distanced ourselves from groups and organizations that oppose civil rights for all.

I have a pin that says:

Mark got me a stylin' t-shirt that says, "Right Side of History." I will be wearing that t-shirt tomorrow as we watch the news and follow this issue. We hope hope hope the Supreme Court votes in a way that is fair and right - ensuring civil rights for all.

They felt justified, too.

Mark and I have felt frustrated these past many months, because we have not felt like we can post this letter openly on our family blog, because we know that it doesn't necessarily align with what many of our family and friends think, but we also recognize that our censorship is self-imposed.

Yes, many may not agree with us on this issue. We have not wanted to argue about it nor have we wanted to get into big political/religious discussions about this issue and our stand on it.

But whether or not people agree with us doesn't matter. What matters is that people's rights are being denied, history is about to change all that, and we want to be clear about what side we're on.

And what also matters is how immensely proud we are of our daughter and her immediate action on something she sees as so obviously unfair. If she has the guts to write and send a letter like that at age 12, I can have the guts to publicly post it on our blog at age 39.

I will, as always, not censor comments just because someone may disagree. People can say what they please. I do not, however, have a ton of time at the moment to get into big political/religious discussions. I will say, though, that there is more to come and I'll have more to say soon.

More Random Thoughts

Really enjoying my birthday this year.
Feeling very appreciative of thoughtful family and friends.

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It is strange to me that people are very particular

 about who they let sleep at their house,

 but some seem to have no qualms

 about letting their kids sleep at strangers' homes elsewhere.

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Ever see those big huge family pictures and think,

 "That is so not our extended family?"

Yeah, me, too.

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We haven't sat down to a big, huge, extended family dinner

since 2009.

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Thing 1 is LOVING volunteering at the library.

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Thing 2 has a couple of friends who are boys

who shyly admitted that they like "My Little Pony."

Well, a while back,

 as a consequence,

I had found an episode of "My Little Pony,"

to help teach a lesson on some topic.

After "torturing" (his words, not mine) Thing 2

with this method, he admitted that it wasn't so bad.

Well, when his friends shared with him that they like it,

he told them, "It's okay. I've seen it and it's pretty good."

I think that is SUPER sweet of him.

He's a very empathic person.

I hate gender stereotypes

and we try not to reinforce them in our family.

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Thing 1 told me that she heard a statistic that said

that kids laugh over 400 times a day

whereas adults laugh 17 times a day.

How have I turned into one of these people?!?

Now, every time anything comes up about mortgages

or bills or work, we're all, "This is why."

Which only reinforces the point. :/

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I just used the word "reinforce" twice.

Now three times.

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A sneak peek at our kids' personalities:

Thing 2 dropped a cookie on the floor, picked it up, and made a face

that showed he was both grossed out and sorry to waste a cookie.

(I believe it was a girl scout cookie, so he had good reason).

It was so quick that I told him to brush it off and that it was fine

(which is saying something, because I'm a total germaphobe -

something I have apparently passed on to my son,

but not so much to my daughter).

He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?"

I shrugged and responded off-handedly with, 

"If you're grossed out, give it to your sister."

 Thing 1 immediately outstretched her hand with a smile.

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If I had a time machine,

I'd visit the 80s.

Not to relive my childhood (in fact, no thank you),

but simply because the 80s were SUCH a great time.

No stress, no fuss, just good movies and music and fun.

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So, I read this article the other day,

and one of the tips just blew me away.

I was so annoyed at the story in that tip,

that I scrolled down to read through the comments,

sure that someone else would be just as outraged.

It took me quite a while of scrolling down to find

where someone finally said something about it.

Everyone was carrying on

 about other tips that bothered them,

but most seemed nonplussed about a tip

 that was glaringly problematic to me.

Do you see it?

Hint: It has less to do with dieting

and more to do with lousy friends

and being a wimp.

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The other day in the kitchen during breakfast,

we were listening to music and I was hearing songs that took

me back to my childhood and adolescence in that way that music does.

I started thinking about how excited we get about these things

and how, so often, 

I want my kids to have (and love) the great things I loved in childhood - 

my favorite toys, games, experiences, songs, TAPES, movies . . . 

and I do share those, 

but part of the wonder of being a kid

 is making your OWN childhood memories

 based on your own experiences and tastes and discoveries.

 I love getting to be a part of that

 and observing their evolving personalities, beliefs, and likes.

Champion who they are and not try to make them into something else.

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Thing 1 is officially taller than I am.

Also, she is funny and witty and beautiful.

Thing 2 is sweet and thoughtful and honest.

(And such a cutie.

 Little girls are developing crushes on this boy!)

Have I mentioned that I love these kids?

I really, really do.

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I got a nice compliment this past week from a woman who said

that she and her husband often discuss how nice our kids are

and how much they like and admire and enjoy them.

Wow, that is so nice!

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By the way,

our kids have been blogging a bunch.

I'm sure they'd love visits and comments!

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Thing 2 is always using these big words for his age.

It's hilarious.

Recently, it was "collaborate."

He comes downstairs one night a couple of weeks ago
and says with a huge smile,

 "I've been reading and thinking about if the Johnsons moved here

 - I really hope they do! -

 and Brennan and I really like to make games

 and we can collaborate and grow up and have a business together.

 I told Brennan that and Brennan (who, by the way, is 7) said,

 'But you'll be working for me,'

 and I told him, 'We'll talk about that when you get here.'"

 Bwahahahaha!!

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Thing 1, soon after this, correctly used the term "thinly-veiled."

Yeah, we're raising nerds.

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Here is a list of 5 true confessions.

And this is not one of those things

 where you try to sound like you have a "problem"

 that is really a strength (like in job interviews).

1. I have been dealing with chronic neck pain for over 18 years.

2. I love blog comments and they make me happier than most people realize.
3. I often have a messy (for me) house. Clean, but messy. Very lived in.

I used to think I'd be an immaculate housekeeper. Nope. And fine by me.

4. I am VERY easily distracted and don't always finish projects.

5. I sometimes let fear hold me back

 (financial fears, fear of being in trouble, fear of hurting others).

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Along those lines,

there is a great quote from the movie Garden State:

 "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better."

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My husband is awesome.

He totally cleaned the house this weekend,

while I caught up on emails and such.

And then he told me

 that the fact that I've been writing a blog post

and chatting with his friend online

while doing so,

makes him very happy.

How lucky am I?!?

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The other day, I saw a phrase I really like.

"School-Free Life" -

I like that better than "homeschooling" or "unschooling."

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I love floor plans.

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People can say things until they're blue in the face.
But actions show what one TRULY values.
"I can't hear your words - your actions are too loud."
I see this go both ways - people showing they truly care
and showing they truly don't.
Talk is cheap. Actions are powerful.

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Two non-words I cannot stand:
"Prolly" and "Imma"
I seriously got an email from someone this week
who used the word "prolly"
and I wanted to reach through the screen and throttle someone,
screaming, "It's PROBABLY. That is ONE more freaking syllable.
Is that so hard?!?"
And Imma? Really? As in, "I'm going to . . ."?
As in song lyrics like "Imma love you" and "Imma be your man?"
I'm waiting for the line that says "Imma moron."

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We were watching Big Bang Theory
and they were eating fondue.
So of course we paused the Tivo
and made fondue to eat
while watching the rest of the show.
What else was there to do?

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