Friday, June 5, 2009

Deep Thoughts about Balls

We all talk a good game about the great invention of the wheel. But I believe we truly place greater value on the ball.

Mark and I were talking today about . . . really I don't remember what (we talk a lot) and in the same sentence we spoke of someone "dropping the ball" and someone being "on the ball." My immediate reaction, "Ooooh, a blog post!"

What is this ball? And why is it such a big deal? I don't know, but clearly being on it is better than dropping it. If you're on it, you're in a good position. If you drop it, you're kind of a loser.

This ball and our relationship to it tells us so much about ourselves and our personalities, not to mention how responsible we are. Stand on it. And don't drop it.

So if the ball is such a good thing to be on and such a bad thing to drop, why is it an implied bad thing to be tied to it? Is it only if you're tied by a chain? Why is "ball and chain" used as a substitute for one's wife?

And let's not even discuss the logical breakdown in calling women balls and chains and also calling women ball breakers, because, well, that's just stupid. You can't be tied to it if it's being broken. This has problems on oh so many levels.

Maybe it depends what the ball is made of . . . its consistency. Because if it's a ball of wax then apparently it's worth talking about in great depth. And it they're made of steel, that's good. But if it's a slime ball, well then, whether you're on it or you've dropped it doesn't much matter, you're pretty much a jerk.

If, however, you're a ball of fire, then you're passionate, perky, bubbly, excited, excitable. So let's review. Slime, bad. Fire, good.

Ah, that makes the exclamation "Great Balls of Fire" make so much sense.

Oh! Oh! Another thing you can do with a ball is get it rolling. So if you can't be on it, you can start it rolling (but don't drop it or break it). And that would be a good thing.

You see, clearly the ball is very important. You have to keep your eye on it. And it's generally good to have it in the court (unless it's good to have it in someone else's court).

And it's not all work. It's play, too. You can play ball. You can have a ball. And you want to keep the ball rolling. (See, stagnant balls are not generally as prized as moving balls). You can pick up the ball and run. But that's a whole new ball game. Unless of course that's the way the ball bounces (again, moving, the ball is moving).

This begs the question of why it's how the ball bounces but also how the cookie crumbles. How in the world are those the same?

The ball and our relationship to it can tell us so much about our emotional well being. If it has an "8" on it, you don't want to be behind it. And if it's a wrecking type, you don't want to be under it. And if you have more than one, you don't want someone else to have you by them.

So cave people certainly helped us out with that whole wheel thing. But I'm thinking they've got nothing on the ball.


emily said...

holy COW was that awesome. you are sooo on the ball.

Lena said...

Love it! I also hope if you've never watched WipeOut, you remedy that- you will just love the big balls!

Dr. Mark said...

Look out Jeann Moos! After all that talk about balls I find myself thinking about these guys. Great post!

nicole said...

This is so funny and very "on the ball". Hey so we leave the 24th of June. Maybe we can get in a day at the park before then?

terahreu said...

I envision several different kind of balls that somehow relate and yet don't. Kind of like a huge ball pit in Ikea all with varying colors and shapes. Except the ones I am referring to aren't covered in pee.

Good one!

bythelbs said...

You had me at ball.

Super fun post.

J Fo said...

Oh my goodness! This one did it for me:

"This begs the question of why it's how the ball bounces but also how the cookie crumbles. How in the world are those the same?"

HA!!! So great! Looks like the ball is in my court now!