Out of the mouth of babes

Our family loves watching "The Amazing Race" together every time it's on TV. We enjoy the concept, the visits to other cultures, and the hilariously sarcastic editing.

Usually, as the show starts, they edit in some brief interviews with some of the teams. Often, teams effuse about how communication is so important to doing well in the race. These interviews almost always foreshadow what's to come.

Those interviews remind us of the "I Love Lucy" episodes that start with Lucy, Ricky, Fred, and Ethel singing around a piano declaring their undying love and friendship with one another. Inevitably, the teams, just like the Ricardos and Mertzes, ends up in a massive fight.

This past week, the heavily tattooed, Harley-riding team from Nevada looked into the camera and then into each other's eyes while the guy spoke of the importance of good communication between teammates. His girlfriend nodded her agreement.

We paused the TiVo, looked at each other, and predicted, "They are so going to implode."

Now, Thing 2 has always had a penchant for the badass teams (be it Diesel 10, Siths, or punk rockers on American Idol -- the one exception being Harry Potter where he neither aligns with Voldemort nor Harry, but rather, being the class clown that he is, with Fred, George, and Ron Weasley). So, I wondered what he'd think of the bikers losing their cool and duking it out.

Predictably, as the episode wore on, we saw what we expected. During one of the tasks where they were to transport brick-building materials, they didn't carefully read the instructions and so they showed up without enough equipment to get their next clue. They were then forced to go all the way back and repeat the task again. This team, who had earlier proclaimed the virtues of good communication skills in achieving success, proceeded to crescendo into a name-calling, finger-pointing, TV-bleeping yelling and screaming match.

(I'm paraphrasing because I don't feel like sitting through online ads to rewatch the episode).

Nick: I can't believe you messed up the clue! You're such an idiot!!

Vicki: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Don't talk to me like that.

Nick: *&#$%* &%$*@#$ *#$#%&

Vicki: We can't work together if you have that attitude. Let's just do this.

Nick: You have NO common sense!!

This is when I heard mumbles from the seat next to me.

Me: What was that?

Thing 2: Maybe he has no common sense.

Me: What do you mean?

Thing 2: Well, he says she has no common sense, so maybe he has no common sense since he's with her.

Who says Reality Television can't teach insightful life skills to children?