Parenthood - My Thoughts on the Bravermans, Part 1

I love this show. Mark and I marathon watched it on Netflix and got caught up and just finished the most recent season with the rest of America. I have so many thoughts and often want to write reviews of the episodes like I used to with American Idol. I would love to have a pop culture/opinion column as a job - can you imagine getting paid to write this? I know. I'm a nerd. Also, I have a ton to do. Hence, this distraction post.

Parenthood

Photo Image from Huffington Post

It should come as no surprise that this show ranks so highly for me. I love ensemble casts. I'm a big Lauren Graham fan. I am fascinated by family dynamics. I really enjoy good character development. I appreciate a show that can make me laugh, cry, feel happy, get angry, and (almost) always make me care and hold my interest. This show delivers on all fronts.

I have so many opinions on the characters in this show that I decided to write this post. If you haven't watched the show, this probably isn't spoiler free. Also, it is a show that must be watched in order. Watch it from the beginning. Don't ruin it.

Let's start with the patriarch and matriarch of the clan - Zeek and Camille Braverman.

Photo Image from sheknows.com

I had a hard time finding a decent picture of them together. Often, one of them looked angry. Though I suppose that's appropriate. I have a love-hate thing with these two. I often find them annoying, enmeshed, and controlling (especially Zeek), but when all is said and done, they are amazingly loving and supportive of their kids and grandkids.

I love how Zeek calls everyone "grandson" and "granddaughter." I like how riled up he gets in defense of his family. You just know he's got his family's back. He can be a bit much at times and he is annoyingly stubborn and proud, but he comes through time and time again. The writing on this show, I'm telling you, is brilliant. They do an excellent job of writing flawed characters.

Camille kind of gets on my nerves sometimes, because I find her too mousy and I wish she'd speak up more. I get why she doesn't - she's been dismissed for years, but even when she stands up for herself, it doesn't come across well. I think she could be a stronger character. I know, I know - she went off and studied art and took charge of her life, but overall, meh. She's a little dull as a parent. That being said, I think she's beautiful.

One of my favorite, hilarious exchanges with Zeek is the one with Crosby at the diner:

Zeek: "What kind of name is Jabbar?"
Crosby: "What the hell kind of name is Zeek?"


On a more critical note, I think they sort of left some story lines blowing in the wind - what happened to his health worries? What about all the cheating and marital issues? What happened when he got himself underwater with that investment property gone bad? I think they sometimes distract us with other story lines (and they do a good job at that), but it bugs me a bit to have those loose ends just . . . there.

I also love the (also left-hanging - no pun intended) story line about his stint doing an erectile dysfunction commercial. Hysterical!  

And I'm often surprised how few issues they have with their in-laws. They're so good at treating the in-laws as their own, but surely there would be more blow-ups with how enmeshed they are. Where are the other families and the tensions that often result from both families wanting time with their kids/grandkids? You see it every so slightly with Jasmine's family, but conveniently we know very little about Kristina's side of the family (other than a self-involved, distant mother) or Joel's (his mother died). Where are their fathers? Their siblings? Their cousins? How is it that the Bravermans control all?

Another thing I like about this show (though at times it annoys me to no end) is all the talking they all do at once. That's a new technique we're seeing more and more in modern television. Shows like New Girl and Modern Family also employ this method. In general, it's realistic and often funny. But with some (ahem, Adam and Kristina), it's irritating.

Also, I love, love, love their backyard and I totally want it. Their big family dinners outside; the overhead, outdoor lighting; the fire pit . . . gorgeous, warm, and inviting. Almost makes me want to move to Berkeley. Almost.

From someone on Pinterest

I'm obviously not alone in coveting their backyard - I found this picture through Google Images. Someone pinned it on one of their boards, because they love it, too.

The Bravermans

Photo Image from globaltv.com

So, Zeek and Camille have 4 kids - Adam, Sarah, Julia, and Crosby. Let's discuss.

Adam Braverman

Photo Image from cliqueclack.com

I hate this guy. I just do not like him. I don't know why everyone is enamored of him. He is uptight, high strung, angry, controlling, negative, initially unsupportive, annoying, and he has a temper, as well as a stick up his butt. 

But he has his redeeming qualities, too. Like here:

Photo Image from Taglogblog.com

  And here:

Photo Image from hitfix.com

And when he goes to bat for Haddie's first boyfriend when he is in trouble (you know, after initially being against it and generally being a jerk). 

It is wild to think that the guy who plays Adam is dating Lauren Graham (who plays one of his sisters on the show), because I often look for real life, on-screen chemistry (there shouldn't be any as they're siblings on the show) and I must say they hide it well. I believe them as siblings. But man, I hope he's different in real life, because on the show? What a tool.

Every time his wife has an idea or thought or frustration, his initial reaction is negative and contrary and angry. He almost always eventually comes around, but he doesn't ever start out supportive (and he should, because she's a determined lady who goes after what she wants and is happy doing it). I don't know how she stands him.


He has also left her high and dry countless times while he runs off to solve some problem for one of his siblings (they always run to him as he is the "responsible," eldest one). It drove me crazy in the early seasons how often his siblings would interrupt him at work to whine about something. Users. But seriously, Adam, set some boundaries!

Their communication skills are absolutely abysmal. They don't listen to each other. They all talk at once, constantly interrupt each other, and go on and on at the same time. No wonder they have issues!

As a father, he has great difficulty relating to any of his children (admittedly, that has to be extra challenging with their son Max, who has Asperger's Syndrome) and comes across as militant and controlling instead of loving and nurturing. Yelling at your kids all the time and then giving them an occasional, slightly relenting hug does not a good father make. Blech.

I think over time, the writers are helping him unclench (oh, how often I want to yell at the TV, "UNCLENCH!"), and that's been nice to see. But yeah, overall, he really bugs me. He's an annoying goody-two-shoes and know it all who goes around preaching to everyone, whether or not they are related to him. Not a fan. He's a character I love to hate.

Sarah Braverman

Photo Image from tvguide.com

Ah, Sarah. The character drives me crazy, but it's hard to get past how much I love the actress playing her. Sarah is a mess and goes through guys like I go through germ killer. She is the second oldest and one of the two "rebel" children. She is a single mom, in part due to her horrible choices in her roller coaster (more like spinning tea cups really) of a love life, who has returned along with her two teenage children, to live with her parents and get her life and her kids' lives back on track.  

She is aimless, though I don't criticize her for that. To be quite honest, it is a mystery to me how anyone chooses one job for life and doesn't go crazy. I have varied interests, so I get bored after a while. I think it would be fun to do about 10 different careers over time, though I know that's not necessarily practical or terribly realistic. But it is more interesting.

That being said, she has been a bartender, an intern, a playwright, a photographer, and . . . a super? Weird. I read an interview with her and even she thought it was odd. You see, Parenthood does this bizarre (but unique) thing where each season starts out months after the previous one left off and you're supposed to divine what happened in the interim. Drives Mark nuts.

I have much to say about her love life, but that will have to wait for another installment of my thoughts on the Bravermans. Bravermen? Anyway, her story lines are rather driven by the men in her life, so they need their own segment. Though I will say this, if you're going to have sex, for heaven's sake, lock your door. Unless you're okay with people walking in on you. And that is a message for ALL the Bravermans.

Julia Braverman

Photo Image from wornontv.net

So Julia is the female equivalent of Adam, but less annoying (though only slightly at first). It was horribly uncomfortable to watch any scene with her in the first season, as she was sooooo competitive and insecure. The writers did a terrific job showing the guilt and insecurities that some working moms deal with. 

I think Julia is beautiful. Apparently, she is known as an embrace-your-curves model and actress. She has a gorgeous body. I wish that were put forth as the norm instead of twiggy Rachels and Monicas. She has an annoying deadpan delivery, whether she is ecstatic or upset, that makes her sound monotone and whiny. 

The writers do a good job manipulating our feelings about these characters. I've gone from totally cringing in the early seasons when she seemed so awkward with her own family-work balance and being out of touch in her kids' lives (one particular cringe-worthy moment was when she showed up at her kids' swim practice in her swimsuit to show up the other moms and their teaching methods, employing a more "Braverman" approach of pushing rather than nurturing) to feeling annoyed with her (man, those Bravermans are persistent - her interactions with pregnant Zoe were so often uncomfortable) to feeling more at ease with her as her character has developed to feeling sorry for her in this most recent season. I love how her siblings support her - when they all showed up for her is one of my very favorite scenes. Plus, they got "the fever" and I love that. It was such a sweet episode ending.

I have always loved her marriage to Joel - I like how they play to their strengths with him as the at-home dad and her as the working mom (they are both so much happier and fulfilled that way) and I like how they tackled how it affected their relationship to try on new dynamics (with disastrous consequences). I do feel like the writing was pretty weak with regard to Joel this past season. I've seen so many people online lamenting that they don't ever give Joel a story line, relegating him to a constant, steady, likeable supporting side character. Well, the writers sort of listened but I think it was choppy and abrupt - where was the lead up to all the marital strife?!? It seemed very out of left field.

That said, this show tackles some big stuff - infertility, adoption, work-life balance, marital dissatisfaction, personal satisfaction, parenting, guilt, work screw-ups, being torn, bratty kids, spoiled kids, etc. And that's just Julia and Joel. The other three kids all handle other tough stuff (affairs, illness, spectrum disorders, alcoholism, codependency, single parenting, financial struggles, etc.). Impressive to see what they tackle, in my opinion. I think that in some cases they are pretty cutting edge - I don't know of many other shows that address (or so well) the kinds of issues Parenthood does (particularly with regard to Max's Asperger's).

Crosby Braverman

Photo Image from parenthood.wikia.com

He is my FAVORITE Braverman, hands down. I love this guy! He is another deliciously-flawed character, but he is, in my opinion, the easiest to love. Zeek and Camille really saved the best for last. (I've seen conflicting things online as to whether he or Julia is the youngest - I thought it was Julia, but I may be wrong).

When the show starts, he is a rogue - unreliable, lives on a houseboat, doesn't want to be tied down. But all that changes when a very unexpected person shows up in his life. He and Sarah comprise the two more rebellious and seemingly-aimless Braverman children (whereas Adam and Julia are more boring responsible).

Crosby likes his life. He enjoys himself. He is easy going and affable. I would totally want to hang out with him more than any of his siblings. When the show first starts, they really want to portray Adam as the "good guy" and Crosby as the charming rascal, but from the get go, I've liked Crosby more than Adam by a mile.

He rides a motorcycle, lives on a houseboat, enjoys a good beer, laughs, jokes, and is great with everybody. He is kind of a bad boy. So not my type of guy. Except that he is a GOOD guy. He is not perfect and he makes a lot of really dumb and hurtful choices, but at his core and through and through, he is the one who is consistently himself and, though flawed, cares and loves more naturally and easily than any other Braverman. He is the most consoling, comforting, supportive, willing, kind sibling of them all. Naturally.

He interacts with his siblings' spouses and significant others with more ease than anyone in his family. He always knows what to say. He is genuine. He is THE best at diffusing tense situations with humor, all while stating his case and maintaining his boundaries. He has an incredible knack for being able to argue with someone without it escalating out of control. How does he do that?!? He jokes whilst debating with others in a way that's so easy and comfortable that it makes arguing practically look fun and not horribly uncomfortable, as it is for most people. I'd go the rounds with him and end up laughing on the floor. He diffuses tension like no other and I love that about him.

He thinks outside the box more than any of them - allowing himself to dream and pursue ideas that the others wouldn't dare consider, ultimately making him the most successful of them all. I'm sure there's a lesson in that.

When the show started, I have to admit that I did not find him attractive at all. I knew he was married in real life to the lovely Kristen Bell and I had a hard time seeing the two of them together, wondering what attracted her to him. Well, the more you see him, the more obvious the answer. You can't help but love him. He has a wonderful personality and sense of humor and manner that makes him easily the best-looking guy on the show (though Joel is no slouch - hubba hubba). I love, love, love Crosby and any scene with him is a joy, even if he has to learn things the hard way sometimes. I think the world could use more Crosbys.

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I have to stop there. I have soooooo much more to say. All of the above characters have significant others (several, for some). There are kids, friends, neighbors, coworkers, bosses, lovers . . . so many more characters about whom to have opinions! Stay tuned. I'd love to write more about them . . . :)

Do you watch Parenthood? Who are your favorite Bravermans of those I've discussed so far? What are your thoughts on the overall family dynamics? Are there characters that drive you nuts? Are you an Adam fan (like most, endlessly surprisingly to me, seem to be)? I want to hear your thoughts!