I hesitated and gave it thought. I didn't raise my hand. It felt like the kind of thing you *should* respond to with a raised hand, but I didn't.
The thing is, I didn't feel wrong or uninspired or depressed. I mean, I've always got dreams and goals of varying degrees. It's just that when I think about some overarching dream, nothing big calls to me. However, that is not to say that I'm not content.
I was sitting there contemplating my reasoning for not raising my hand and thinking to myself, "But I already AM leaving my dream."
Honestly, my grandest dream as a little girl growing up was to someday be married to my best friend and have a family together. There is a lot of talk in society today about what is and isn't feminist and, sometimes in that process, career becomes synonymous with feminist and marriage/home become synonymous with anti-feminism. I don't agree with that at all. As I've stated before, feminism is about choice, whatever that choice may be, for every woman out there.
I don't think it's anti-feminist to speak about falling in love and relationships and all of that. I grew up hearing those things from people I looked up to and they inspired me and gave something to look forward to.
I knew I wanted togetherness, peace, closeness, happiness, fun. I wanted something that I couldn't name as a child, but that I can name now: emotional safety. And I have that. I'm married to my best friend and I have emotional safety with him. I love being married and being part of a partnership. I love relationships.
I also absolutely LOVE being a mom. It's so much fun and I get to love these two amazing people and do my best to guide them and help out with life. How lucky am I?!?
Nothing in the world makes me happier than hanging out with my family and that is the honest-to-goodness truth. I love adventuring with them and I absolutely LOVE simply hanging out as a family playing games and eating take-out or watching TV/movies together.
So yeah, when someone asks me to raise my hand if I have a dream, I sometimes feel conflicted, because what if you're already enjoying that dream? That doesn't mean you don't have a dream. It means you're a lucky one who gets to LIVE it.
It's hard to talk about this sometimes, because you worry it comes off as braggy or because it just seems like a weird thing to admit (we can't win as humans, right? If you are happy, you're bragging; and if you're not, you're complaining). You feel like you're supposed to quietly go about your life and maybe you are, but this blog is sort of a journal for me and this is something that I've been feeling and that has been on my mind, so I figured I'd post.
So, raise your hand if you have a dream?
*Raises hand.*
8 comments:
I guess that kind of would be a trick question for you. I always think of dreams as something you're hoping to achieve someday, but if you've already achieved it, that doesn't mean you don't have dreams! It was fun to go through all of these pictures of different things we've done as a family, too.
Super sweet post. :)
While I have many things I'd like to do, and might even dream of doing, I love being a part of your dream. Thank you for this great perspective.
A happy marriage and a loving family--that's the dream of many and you have that! And when I think about it, once you have the essentials such as food and shelter, most other dreams pale in comparison. Maybe that others can have that opportunity, too? And we've recently made some progress in that direction.
TMV, it's a question that really made me think. I don't feel like I've "achieved" it, because it's an ongoing thing and not just some benchmark. It's more of an ongoing experience for which I'm immensely grateful. But yeah, I mean, it seems too simple almost, you know? But it's true. I love it and am grateful.
Thanks, Mark. :)
Jimmy, thank you. I think it's one of those things that people say they value, but don't really talk about - it's all "career" or "award" or something like that. I'm happy to hear that and happy for you! :)
As I see it, you're definitely living most people's dream. The way you're living it may be different than how others are or would achieve it, but the ultimate end result that you're living is what dreams are made of.
Thanks, LMW. I appreciate that. I don't take it for granted. <3
Aha! I think you took my last sentence to mean something I didn't intend. The we I was referring to was not me personally, but society and the increasing acceptance/legitimization of gay families. Just thought I should make that clear.
Ah, Jimmy! You are correct that I interpreted it differently. Yes, gay families! So many different kinds of families! It's lovely to see. And I hope more and more people get on board with the diversity of what a family looks like. Love is love is love and all of that. :)
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