(Mark's) Year in Review - 2017

I do this post every year, and if I'm being honest, it's just something fun to do to remember the past year, mixed with some reflections and possibly some new resolve. For many reasons, I've felt a draw to doing this post more than in the past. I know I've felt like I really need to do this post to clear my head and set myself straight for the year. So, with all of that build up, here's to 2017!

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before? One big thing, I'll save for later in this post. Most of the things I've never done were attached to other people in the family. I don't know that I can recall any one thing I did that was new for me personally. New things this year include visiting several colleges I've never been to so Kate could see them. I took the kids to New York City by myself so they could see "Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812." That was fun to take a train and spend the day together in the city. We left Scout at home with a house-sitter for the first time so we could go to the Gilmore Girls Fan Festival. I competed in a large X-wing Miniatures tournament with Max.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? In many ways I feel like 2017 was a difficult year for me personally. I feel stagnant in some ways, and I feel like growth in some areas were offset by losses in others. I've learned to accept the good with the bad, and to apply all of it to the sum total of the experiences life loves to give me, so I refuse to let a year like this get me down or ruin 2018. I'm going to pick one phrase to live by and try and stick to it. This is something Stacy's done for a while, and I think it gives me the best chance at succeeding.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? No one that I can think of.

4. Did anyone close to you die? I am fortunate to have been spared this heartbreak this year.

5. What countries did you visit? No foreign countries this year. As has become our norm, we did venture out to several states in the course of our many activities. We spent time in Massachusetts, Connecticut, New York, New Jersey, Delaware, Maryland, Virginia, and Washington, D.C. Hopefully next year's post will include something more exciting.

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? I would like to feel a lot healthier. I'd also like to have a clear vision for where I am headed professionally, as well. I feel content in many ways, but because of circumstances and my own inner restlessness, I need to do some tweaking.

7. What dates from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? June 3rd. One of the worst days I've experienced in a VERY long time (see #10 below). Most of what is etched upon my memory is the myriad emotions that my family experienced that day.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? For someone who grew up trying to rack up achievements, it feels strange to not know what I can point back to in 2017 as an "achievement." Maybe I've grown accustomed to framing things differently, and maybe it was a fairly normal year in that regard.

9. What was your biggest failure? I still refuse to view anything as a true "failure." Looking back, I could say that I wasn't always as present as I would like to be for those around me. I'm working on it, and I feel more connected with myself overall. That's only going to help.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? In June I had emergency surgery to repair an umbilical hernia. Unfortunately, I also had a section of small bowel that became trapped and needed to be removed. During the recovery period I developed C. difficile colitis. Twice. It was a couple of months before I even felt somewhat better. At this point I mostly feel better, but there are times that certain foods remind me that I did go through a big illness.

As hard as it was for me to go through all of that, I really feel badly for all that Stacy and the kids went through because of it. The suddenness of the surgery was jolting and terrifying for all of them, and I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around what they had to do to in that moment to keep on going. I can't even begin to express my admiration and appreciation for how they stepped up and took care of me. Besides attending to my medical needs, they were also there to support me emotionally as I experienced setbacks, and there were several. Even as I sit here typing this, I can feel myself welling up with tears as I struggle to attach words to these emotions. There simply aren't enough words that carry the weight of what Stacy, Kate, and Max mean to me, and what they have done for me. I love them with all of my heart.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Tickets to the Gilmore Girls Fan Festival in Kent, CT. Stacy posted about it here so I won't give you another recap, but all in all it was SO incredibly fun. She doesn't always get a chance to geek out on one of her loves like this, so it made it extra special to do that with her.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My wife's. Kate's. Max's. Daily I find reasons to be impressed by Stacy. There are unseen forces that require her to exert a lot of emotional energy to be the kind of wife and mother that she wants to be. Her success in this department shows the kind of resilience she has and how hard she is working to be her best self. If I can follow her example, even a little bit, my 2018 will be fantastic.

Kate quietly wows me all the time. Whether it is as a writer, college student, homeschooler, employee, or daughter, she goes about her business with dedication and confidence. I am proud of how she has faced challenges and continued to put her best foot forward. I am impressed and how well she knows herself and how this knowledge is shaping her future even now.

Max is maturing by leaps and bounds every day. I can't tell you how many times I have had reason to smile knowing that that kid is smart and clever and so incredibly kind. He is learning to challenge himself even more and to expect more from himself. I so often see wisdom in was he says and does and he reminds me that there are so many ways to be a good parent.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? For the third year in a row, it's political. There is the ongoing feeling that our president and his most rabid supporters have missed what it means to be human and to care for someone besides yourself. What else can be said there that hasn't been said a million times over? I'm also disappointed in the "liberal elite" that refuse to take ownership in the problems we have in this country, and somehow feel self-satisfied that at least they didn't vote for him. So many words have been written about how that attitude isn't going to fix anything, and I don't really have that many unique ones to add. Suffice it to say, if people don't learn to be more tolerant of people as a whole, this whole country will continue to burn to the ground.

On a more intimate level, there have been a handful of people who have shown their true colors this year. Some were more surprising than others, but either way, it hurts and it sucks. And when you consider how much Stacy was trying to do this summer with my health issues, having people close to you disappear (and feel completely justified) adds huge insult to gigantic injury.

14. Where did most of your money go? Like last year, our mortgage, student loan payments, and health insurance premiums. There were also larger than usual medical expenses, most of which just went toward our gigantic deductible. We had some travel and entertainment expenses, as well as college tuition and other fees. Again, being able to do the dual enrollment program at the community college helps, but it's still a big chunk being spent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? I was really excited to see the kids perform in "A Christmas Carol." The Gilmore Girls Fan Festival loomed large on the calendar all year, in a good way. The new Star Wars movie (so worth the hype). Once I knew it was a thing, "The Greatest Showman" got us all a bit excited.

16. What song will always remind you of 2017? Anything from "Waitress." Stacy took Kate to see Sara Bareilles perform in the summer and Max to see Jason Mraz perform in the fall. And seeing the show means the music plays a lot in our house. So, yeah, all the "Waitress" songs. I'm not sure that any other songs stick out.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? I always feel pretty happy about life. I'm probably a bit more contemplative right now, though. b) thinner or fatter? About the same. It's been an up and down year. c) richer or poorer? Like last year, my life is richer. Financially, I feel like it's a constant game of ping-pong, but we are managing to save, so richer to some extent.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? I wish I'd done a little more sitting and taking it all in. It's something I'm working on, to be sure, but it doesn't come as naturally as it should. Stacy is good at helping me pause for a beat and experience the here and now.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? This one is hard to say. The year was a blur in many ways, and it's not easy to look back and see the patterns. I suppose I wish I had thought a little less and just done a little more.

20. How did you spend Christmas? My favorite way--home together as a family. After a very busy 2017 in general (and specifically, the last few months of the year), it was wonderful to be able to hang out, eat good food, play games, and smile a lot.

21. Did you fall in love in 2017? Yes, every day more and more with my soulmate. I wrote this last year, too. It's still true.

22. What was your favorite TV program? I'm still really enjoying "This Is Us." I love coming together as a family to watch it together. We've also recently discovered "Brooklyn Nine-Nine." It's super fun when a show can make us all laugh so consistently. There are plenty of things that I enjoy watching, mostly because we all share it.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? I don't think so. There have been plenty of people that have just proven and reproven that they are worthy of disdain, but no one new I can come up with. Lots that have irritated me and disappointed me, though.

24. What was the best book you read? "Best" is tough. I had several this year that were noteworthy. Doing more audiobooks this past year was key. I could listen during my short commute. And with the various activities the kids had, I had plenty of opportunities to listen during solo car rides and while sitting and waiting for them. Looking back over my Goodreads account, here are my favorites (in no particular order):

*American Gods, by Neil Gaiman. A Brit's take on Americana, mixed with thoughts on the "new gods" of America. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
*The Buried Giant, by Kazuo Ishiguro. Ishiguro won the Nobel Prize this year, so I thought I'd read something by him. His fantasy novel was excellent and a lot different than other fantasy I've read.
*Boxers and Saints, by Gene Luen Yang. He is a wonderful graphic novelist, and his two part series about the Boxer Rebellion was fantastic.
*A Man Called Ove, by Frederik Backman. Stacy selected this one for our book club, a story about a grumpy old Swede who would rather be left alone, but can't escape becoming an integral part of his neighbors' lives.
*The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell, by W. Kamau Bell. Part biography, part social commentary, Bell's book was super interesting. For a wild experience, look up the first episode of his "United Shades of America." Big black guy goes to the deep South to attend a KKK cross burning. Seriously haunting.
*Several Black Panther Comic books from various series. The more I read in all the series (Black Panther, The World of Wakanda, Black Panther and the Crew, etc.) the more I get sucked in. No matter who is writing the books, the stories are great.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? I don't have a lot that I can think of. I'm always listening to a song here and a song there as I encounter them, but nothing is sticking out as my "greatest" discovery. Watching "The Greatest Showman" and listening to the soundtrack has been really fun. There is some excellent music in that movie. Normally I discover new music as I listen to all of the Grammy nominations at the beginning of the year. 2017 was pretty disappointing in that department.

26. What did you want and get? To see my kids share a wonderful experience together. Watching them act together in "A Christmas Carol" fit the bill. I also had a nice holiday season with my favorite people. That's always high on my list.

27. What did you want and not get? More time to explore my creative pursuits. That's entirely on me. Between life circumstances and my own focus, I didn't make the time necessary or set myself up for success.

28. What was your favorite film of this year? "The Greatest Showman" was really good. I thoroughly enjoyed "Star Wars: The Last Jedi." Kate and I saw "Wonder Woman" together, and that was pretty great. We started the year by trying to see a bunch of Oscar movies, many of which were good. "Moonlight" was excellent, and is a movie that has improved in my mind the more time has passed. "La La Land" was a lot of fun to see. I was worried all of the hype might ruin it, but it didn't.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?  For 43 we went out and had some low-key family fun. We went to get Mexican food in Harrisburg, played mini-golf on City Island, and played some games at home. All in all, a pretty fantastic day.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? There isn't one thing that would do that for me. Considering how rocky 2017 was, I'm feeling pretty satisfied with how it ended up already. Well, maybe not having major surgery and recurrent intestinal infections would have helped.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? I could work on this a bit more. Steady and reliable are decent adjectives for a lot of things, but maybe not a fashion concept. I did try out a subtly different haircut and like that, and my glasses are a bit bigger and a little more stylish.

32. What kept you sane?  My family, for sure. 2017 could have been a very disastrous year if not for Stacy and her influence on me. It may have cost her some of her own sanity, and that fact is not lost on me. But honestly, she's helped me more than she could ever know. The kids are great and I love being near them and sharing life's grand adventures with them. And Scout is one of the most grounding (and horribly feisty) creatures I've ever known.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?  Hmmm. That's a good question. 2017 was a year that soured me on a lot of people, and it affirmed my long-held belief that we should admire the qualities in people that are truly worthy of admiration, but be careful to not deify them as a whole. I'll say that the way Bernie Sanders keeps fighting for what he believes to be right is impressive. His campaign wasn't just an exercise in grandstanding. It was a way to get his message to more people, and he hasn't stopped spreading that message.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?  Intolerance and equality still reign supreme, and there have been many rants and discussions on this topic around here. We even had the chance to hear two excellent speakers, Ibram X. Kendi and Ta-Nehisi Coates, speak in our area, and that was enlightening. I will say that the separation of church and state loomed very large throughout the year, especially as we see the makings of a pseudo-theocracy developing in this country (as well as an oligarchy, fascist regime, etc.).

35. Who did you miss? I don't think there is anyone I've missed. In fact, I feel like our circle of friends and family has resized itself satisfyingly well.

36. Who was the best new person you met? We met a nice couple through mutual friends and had a chance to share a meal or two with them. They are really nice and easy to talk to, and it's very pleasant to hang out with them. I can tell they will be nice friends to have. We also met a lot of people through the theater where the kids performed during the holidays. They made some really nice friends there.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. I am learning and relearning what I learned last year, which is to not let the perfect be the enemy of the good. I struggle mightily with this and I'm working hard to let it sink in. In fact, it's a renewed focus for me going forward in 2018.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Jamie Lawson is an Australian singer who records on Ed Sheeran's label (Gingerbread Man Records). He put out a new album this year, and the track "Can't See Straight" has a few lyrics that remind me of how lucky I am. It's a really sweet, classic singer-songwriter love song.

"Shooting stars shining down on your face
Dancing in the moonlight with you
You keep me calm when I'm a certain disgrace
You keep me on my toes with your moves

And you pulled me inside out and outside in
Give my heart palpitations, keep my pulse racing

Oh and I can't see straight when I'm thinking 'bout you
Yeah you make my head spin with the things that you do
I feel dizzy when you tell me you love me too
I can't see straight when I'm thinking 'bout you"



And if you want a nice treat, listen to the acoustic version he did with Ed Sheeran.