Life Comes At You Fast

(I wrote this post on October 19th and just saw it sitting in my drafts, so I'll post it today. I'm thinking it got away from me with NaNoWriMo getting into full swing. It seems fitting since this month in our homeschool group, our kids are taking classes on finances -- spending/saving/budgeting/interest/credit cards/investing/bills/taxes/etc.).

Photo from www.WNYC.org

Fun Fact #1:

In the past month, we've received the following bills due to varying life necessities, including health care, dental care, and heating costs (we carry our own high-deductible health insurance):

$1700 (medical out of pocket -- this one later turned out to be half this, thanfully)
$680 (dental out of pocket)
$5400 (orthodontic out of pocket for Thing 1 -- keeping in mind we've already paid an additional $1800 for some previous work for her and it looks like we'll have similar orthodontic bills for Thing 2 as well) -- at least these can be paid in installments
$960 (oil for heating our home this winter--that one came today)
$450 for auto insurance (we pay that twice a year -- really not bad)
upcoming unknown amount for a medical ENT procedure
upcoming unknown amount for fixing our van -- it occasionally doesn't start
upcoming unknown amount for replacing our 12-year-old couches that look like this:

This hole is significantly bigger now.

See, my awesome physician husband
uses his stitching skills on more than just
cuts and skin suturing
-- he's extended the longevity of our couches.

Seriously, he's really good.

But, alas, the rips have grown much bigger.
We love our couch set and would replace it with the
exact same set if it still existed.

Remember, most of these pictures
are from October,
so use your imagination
and really widen those holes
and rips in your mind.
There.
Now double that and you're about there.

Fun Fact #2:

Those bills are "extras" and do not include our regular monthly bills, which include two mortgages and student loan repayment as well as business overhead and malpractice insurance (ka-ching!), not to mention food, electricity, insurance, etc.


Fun Fact #3:

Both Mark and I hear SUCH sad stories from our clients who are also struggling. Part of my job often involves hearing about people's financial difficulties and stresses. It is so hard and conflicting to charge people for a session after they've told you how scared and stressed they are financially--because you feel awful for charging them because you know they're hurting, yet you know you also have to make money, because you, too, have financial obligations. We love having our own business in so many ways, but we also get pretty close to our clients and you really feel for them and all they're going through. Ugh. I often think of how nice it would be to be rich and just go around helping people who have it rough.


Some famous quotes dancing around in my head:

Ferris Bueller famously said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

Nationwide keeps telling us, "Life comes at you fast."

And then of course we know that, "There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard."


Two New Books -- Generation Debt: While doing some research online, I've come across two new books that address the issue of how our generation is burdened by debt and having a harder time getting ahead than generations before ours.

Generation Debt, by Anya Kamenetz, takes a look at the major economic shift that is happening in our country.

I feel extra prescient and smart, because her research backs my own personal theory that I've had since the mid-1990s. Back then I was saying that it used to be skills that got you a job, then it was a high school diploma, then it was a college diploma, and now it's a graduate degree plus experience.

Our generation faces different challenges than that of the generation before ours. And I do think that, because of that, sometimes our generation seem like "slackers" to the baby boomers. But only if you don't look at the facts that this book presents.

From the publisher:

In this thoroughly researched and rousing manifesto, Anya Kamenetz chronicles and questions the plight of the new "youth class": 18- to 29-year-olds who are drowning in debt and therefore seemingly unable to "grow up." Many older adults perceive today's youth as immature slackers, "twixters," or "boomerang kids," who simply cannot get their act together, but Kamenetz argues that this perception is a misinformed stereotype.

Numerous economic factors have combined to create a perfect storm for the financial and personal lives of America's youth: a college degree is essential for employment yet financially crippling to many, government grants for education are at an all-time low, Social Security and Medicare are on their deathbeds, and our parents and grandparents are retiring earlier and living longer.

It is soooooooooo different now than it was for our parents. My mom has often told us the story about how she and my Dad went into the bank to get a mortgage. The banker met with them, shook their hand saying, "You seem like a nice couple," and gave them their loan. That was it.

Our generation has about 168 pages of information to fill out, multiple background and credit checks, and skeptical looks from all lenders and bankers.

My parents got that loan and then paid off their home in 7 years. 7 years! No eating out, no buying clothes (they sewed all their own clothing), etc., but they paid if off in 7 years.

The generation before theirs? Some didn't even take out loans at all! The other night in book club, one of our friends talked about how her grandparents paid CASH for their home and there was a murmur of consent and a lot of nodding all around as many could vouch for the fact that just TWO generations before ours (one for some of our book club members), many paid CASH for their homes. That was, for many, the norm!

So, two generations ago, they paid cash. One generation ago, they paid off their homes in a few years, and now our generation can barely afford a home in 30 years? What has happened??

Those of our parents' generation were marketable with high school diplomas, bonus if they had a college degree. And even many jobs without either of those paid decently to start.

Our generation is faced with a dilemma: cheap labor or expensive schooling? People our age can go into massive debt for an education and a chance of getting ahead or get an $8/hour job at Home Depot.

Economic shift indeed. Read this short article for some alarming facts. Seriously, read it. Stop reading our blog and go back and read it. I mean it.

All right. Welcome back. Ahem. I was saying . . .

Today's middle class, college-educated families are among the poor families getting food at food banks.



Two New Books -- Strapped:

Strapped: Why America's 20- and 30-Somethings Can't Get Ahead, by Tamara Draut, has a peppy title that just screams hope and optimism, doesn't it?

This book has more of a political slant to it, in that it addresses how things have shaped up the way they have thanks to a generation of leaders more interested in serving the wealthy than investing in the future.

But here is one fun fact from one of the reviews on the above-linked site:

'Today's college grads are making less than the college grads of thirty years ago.' In fact, men aged 25 to 34 with bachelor's degrees are making just $6,000 more than those with high school diplomas did in 1972.

From the publisher:

Drowning in student loan and credit card debt? Can’t afford to get married, buy a home, have children? At last, a book for the under-35 generation (and their parents) that explains why it is not their fault.

Strapped offers a groundbreaking look at the new obstacle course facing young adults—the under-35 crowd—as they try to build careers, buy homes, and start families. As Tamara Draut explains, getting ahead is getting harder. A college degree is the new high school diploma—but it now costs a fortune to get that degree, and students graduate with crippling debts. Good jobs are scarcer thanks to stagnant wages and disappearing benefits. And, the cost of everything—starter homes, health coverage, child care—keeps going up and up. Budding families, even those with two incomes, struggle to pay the bills, while Visa and Mastercard have become the new safety net. Young adults are starting out behind the financial eight ball—borrowing their way into adulthood and wondering whatever happened to the American Dream.

And that closing line is what leads me to my next point . . .


Is this a purely American phenomenon?

Is it? I mean, obviously there are countries FAR poorer than ours. I've lived in them. We have SO MUCH here -- running water, electricity, indoor toilets. We have the Internet, we have so many resources, we have choices. Honestly, we have it pretty good!

But it also seems Americans are all TIRED and run ragged in the pursuit of the basic American Dream of home ownership.

I often wonder about people in countries like Portugal and Italy. People there work hard but they really know how to live and relax, too. They own small homes, use public transportation, and spend a lot of time in their backyards (if they have them) and at cafés drinking and relaxing
with friends. (Ha! After writing this post and without even trying, I found this article that backs this up, too!)

In the movie "Eat, Pray, Love," an Italian man in a barbershop says, "Americans know entertainment, but they don't know pleasure. Italians know pleasure." I think that's true!

So, yeah, sometimes I daydream about buying a small villa in Portugal or Italy and living simply. Is it less expensive there or are they just smarter? I don't know.

But we do love where we live and so we're now back to the bills and expenses mentioned at the beginning of this post in the fun facts.

And this leads me to my next point . . .


What's your take? The other evening, I was at the coffeehouse with a bunch of my friends and we were talking about life and kids and college and retirement (yes, we've long graduated from playgroups to discussions of IRAs and 529s . . . or the lack thereof). I later spoke with a couple of the dads from the group as well. Here is a little look see at how the group broke down:

Women #1 and #2 did not have college paid for them and do not feel that they can afford to pay for college for their own children either as they feel they can't afford to do both (that and retirement).

Women #3 and #4 had college paid for them and also want to pay for college for their kids.

Men #1 and #2 didn't have college paid for and don't want their children to have to go through what they did, so they want to be able to pay for it.

I've talked to others, too, from different situations and the big breakdown seems to be:

Didn't have college paid for -------> Won't pay for kids' college (it's what they know)
Didn't have college paid for -------> Want to pay for kids' college (it sucked for them)
Did have college paid for -------> Want to pay for kids' college (was great - want to share)

So, most want to pay, but the question is how to afford it when, you know, "life comes at you fast."

As a good friend of mine who reads this blog (you know who you are) says (and I agree with him), "I brought them into this world. I figure the least I can do is educate them."

And let's not forget investing for retirement . . .

So, Generation X/Generation Y (we fit into both of these, depending on which chart/article we reference, but more often it's "X") . . . where do you stand? How do you think we fare compared to past generations? Are you more often scared and stressed? Or happy and hopeful? What do you hope for your own children?