Reflections On My 40th Year

Well, I turn 41 tomorrow. I find myself looking back over this past year and thinking about the whole turning-40 thing. What have I learned? What wisdom do I have about this milestone age? Uhhh, not much?

Confession? I started making a list a year ago. A list of "40 Things To Do In My 40th Year." I didn't ever finish the list, nor did I work on completing the things on that list. So maybe what I've learned is that a lot of things are the same as we age.

1. Like how I am constantly making lists.
2. And how I sometimes don't finish them.
3. And how whether or not I finish making them, I don't always look at them.
4. Or do what's on them.
5. How at 40, I find that one of the most challenging things for me is to keep up on life in general!
6. I feel behind a lot.
7. I make a lot of efforts and attempts to stay on top of things,
8. But there are always so many things that I don't get to.
9. Home repairs, car maintenance, check-ups, activities, goals.
10. I try. I really do.
11. I heard that it's not healthy to think things like, "There aren't enough hours in the day!"
12. But I admit that I often feel that way anyway.
13. I work hard every day to take care of home and family, keep up on school, business stuff, relationships.
14. Inevitably, I don't get to it all or do all I'd like to do.
15. My vision seems to always be bigger than my ability to make it so.
16. I suppose that's a good thing,
17. Always striving, always pursuing.
18. But there's something to be said for being content, too.
19. And that, I really am.
20. And isn't that what counts?
21. I see Facebook pictures of friends who travel all over the world and I'm happy for them,
22. But I don't sit here and wish it were me.
23. I don't.
24. I like my life, my simple pleasures.
25. Nothing makes me happier than spending a day at home with my family playing games, watching funny TV, and eating good food.
26. That's what counts in my book.
27. I don't have a grand working career.
28. I am not some big shot in a fancy field.
29. I haven't won any grand awards.
30. I try to be careful how we spend, conscious of our student loan and other debts (my parents were debt free by 40 - uh, yeah, that was clearly a different era).
31. I worry and fret and feel restless sometimes.
32. Nearly constantly, I think about and hope we are doing right by our kids with our life choices.
33. But if there's one constant in my life,
34. It is how much I love them.
35. My husband is, without a doubt, my best friend.
36. There is truly no one else with whom I'd rather be and I feel incredibly lucky that we have each other.
37. I've got a daughter who sometimes feels like a sister to me and always is my friend.
38. I have a son whose love for me is more than he can express, though he tries with hugs and words and gestures all the time.
39. I have the world's cutest, spunkiest, cuddliest, most adorable, most loving dog a family could possibly ask for.
40. So this 40 thing? Not too shabby.

There. I finished a list. And I feel pretty good about all that is on it - faults, flaws, and joys. It's the whole not-perfect, but perfect-for-me 40 package.