Cape May, NJ

So, Mark got asked to cover some extra days at work in order for someone to attend a wedding. In exchange, he got a few days off earlier in that same week. It wasn't quite enough to go anywhere far, but it was enough to get out of town for a couple of days, so we did and it was lovely and much needed. We got the cutest little beach house that was nicely stocked with linens and supplies and bikes and we had a great few days together discovering a new place, which is always lots of fun.

Day 1 - Get there and check the place out!

We like visiting places on the off-season.

A lot was closed here, though, which surprised us

(because Delaware beaches aren't like that at all).

Just the same, we were able to do a ton.

 Cape May has a complex full of little shops and bakeries and restaurants.

 We really enjoyed getting treats at the bakeries.

 This is an actual, functioning 5 & Dime with soda fountain and everything!

 

We always stop at bookstores!

 

 Kate and I got lobster rolls. They were so good,

 but nothing compares to a lobster roll in New England, 

where they use a special kind of cut hot dog type bread.

 

 Scout loves going on vacation with us!

 We got to play lots of games on this getaway, especially Smash-Up!

Day 2 - Exploring the lighthouse and biking around

 the Victorian homes and beach!

 Off to explore a lighthouse

 The front patio area of the beach house was super cute

Narrow, spiral staircase - 217 steps to the top!

 At the top of the lighthouse

 My little boy is getting that young man look!

 Back downstairs

 Breakfast on the pier

 Kate and I got delicious omlettes with crab and cheese

 and spinach and all kinds of goodness

Playing in the patio area on a beautiful day

So, Cape May is a Victorian beach town and one of our favorite things we did there was to bike around the town (and to the beach) and see all the great Victorian homes and B&Bs.

 It got hot and we wanted to bike into town for ice cream,

so we got some at Ben & Jerry's.

 Then, it was time to bike over and hang out at the beach!

 These black-headed seagulls were wild!

 Me and my ridiculously handsome husband

 Hanging out at the beach house . . .

 . . . 2015 style! Everyone got washed up to go to dinner.

We asked around town for good recommendations,

 did a little research online, and found a place where

everyone loved their meal.

 These LOADED-with-carnitas nachos fed us for days!

Max was pretty excited to get these.

 No kidding - clam pizza.

 I got a delicious and unique homemade pasta (like hollow spaghetti)

in a delicious white wine and garlic sauce and it was LOADED with clams,

clams, and more clams.

 Kate almost always gets seafood, but she opted for a burger and it was amazing!

There should always be bleu cheese crumbles and avocado on everything.

Day 3 - Packing up and going home

Already time to leave. :(

We walked around the bakeries again

 and enjoyed our breakfast treats outside.

You can tell when we're not ready to be done enjoying a getaway,

because we REALLY take our time getting back.

After not being able to find some restaurants we were looking for,

we stopped in this town outside of Philly and had some

MAGNIFICENT, authentic Greek food.

It was delicious!

Before finding that Greek place,

we tried finding some other places (P.F. Chang's, Panda Express, etc.)

with no luck. Apparently, the Panda Express was supposed to be

in a food court in a mall, but when we stopped there, the mall was DESERTED.

I thought it was SO creepy when I went in to find it

 and saw that everything was boarded up.

I was so creeped out that we stopped at the mall again

 so Mark and the kids could see it.

I must've hyped it too much,

because they weren't creeped out at all.

I, however, was.

And my husband is sweet to humor me.

We stopped at a game store, too, and took the long way back. We really weren't antsy to get back and deal with life stresses. It's so unlike us to allow ourselves a fun getaway when we have so much to do and so many things to resolve. It seems counter-intuitive to go away for a few days when you've got a ton to do. But I'm so glad we did, because I think we really needed it and it really helped to rejuvenate us!

I love my family so much and there's nothing I love more than spending time together. Add the beach, books, games, a new place to explore, bakery treats, and great food, and that's pretty much perfection for us.

Fits and Starts

Fits and starts. That seems to be how blogging has been for me lately. I have so many thoughts and so much to share. Like I've said so often before, I'm almost constantly blogging in my head. It's actually sitting down to do it that is the challenge.

So, I thought I'd write a post sharing a whole bunch of what we've been up to these past many weeks. It's been a difficult past 10 months or so for many reasons, some personal, but I'll share as I feel so moved. Here goes . . .

1. After months of extreme frustration in dealing with plumbers, contractors, subcontractors, insurance agents, claim agents, the repairs on the farmhouse are finally done. Yep, just got done this past week and the crap all started in February, so that gives you an idea how that's been. We've lowered the price twice on our farmhouse. Most recently, we pulled the listing altogether and relisted it at an even lower price, so it is now listed thousands below what we paid for it 8 years ago. I can't begin to tell you what a humongous bummer that is. At this point, we're antsy to sell and move on, but I can't help but look at that and think in terms of upcoming college costs with worry (like we're losing a semester's worth of money and who can afford to do that?!?). I have always heard that real estate is a great investment and that homes appreciate. This doesn't seem to be the case for us right now. It's extremely discouraging. We've been looking forward to our first experience being on the seller's side of the table and getting a check. We'll get one, but it will not represent a gain; it will represent a loss.

2. College costs. Something that is on my mind and in the news a lot. Our kids are 15 and 12. College is around the corner. They're starting college soon and we ourselves continue to carry student loans of our own. It's frightening, truth be told. Sometimes life seems so scary.

3. We've been dealing with some personal issues that we've not shared with many people. We're actively getting help, but the process is nothing short of grueling. It's another thing that costs in terms of time, energy, and money, but it's also incredibly needed. The flip side of this is that what we're doing is helping and so good for us.

4. Both of our cars have been at the mechanic's more times than I care to admit. I feel like we drive in with one problem and drive out with another. It's frustrating. We're entering year 18 with our Saturn this fall. It often doesn't start and when it does, it emits so much blue smoke and weird smell that I'm amazed it passes emissions (though we're told that's not the problem). This past week, our mechanic told us straight up that it's time to get a new car. We have known that for a while, but it's one of those things we don't feel we can address until the house sells and, well, reference #1.

5. It's been months of feeling like "the hits keep coming." Hit after hit after hit. We feel like we're due for a win. Right? Right?!?

6. All that being said, I can't help but be amazed at my life. Even amid the stress, we're healthy, happy, and have so many great things going for us. Even on the tough days (and there have been many of those), I can usually see that.

7. I'm busier than I've ever been. With what? Our kids and homeschooling. The older they get, the more involved it all is. It's fun and challenging and amazing. It's also a TON of work. The mental energy alone that goes into it . . . I have no words. 

8. We've been branching out and meeting new people and it's been fabulous. We live in an area that is beautiful and has a lovely pace of life. However, many of the people can be very closed off and they aren't always particularly interested in meeting new people. Many of them have extended family all around them and the desire to make new friends isn't always that strong. We have our homeschool group which has been our community for years and it's great, but we've wanted to expand beyond it as well, especially with our kids getting older. I'm happy to report that we've connected with a bunch of new people in the past month or so of our initial efforts to reach out. It's like the universe is responding to what we're putting out there, because the other day on a lunch date, our waitress talked with us for a long time and wrote down her contact information on our receipt and asked us to find her online and connect, so we did.

9. The kids are great. I'm so immensely proud of them that I sometimes feel like I could burst. They are both kind, thoughtful, and conscientious people and I love, love, love spending time with them and getting to know them better every day. They are two of my favorite people and I often shake my head when I think about how lucky I am that I get to be their mom. I feel I learn more from them than they do from me. While all stages are fun and great, I'm especially enjoying seeing their transition from kids to adults. The world is so lucky to have these two in it. Really. I have very specific instances in mind right now as I type this of recent interactions they've had where they've been assertive, strong, kind, thoughtful, compassionate, intelligent, funny, wise, considerate . . . the list goes on and on. They stand up for what's right even when no one is looking. They share openly with us and know they are safe to do so. They are good friends. They are conscientious citizens. They are truly remarkable and amazing people.

Okay, how about some pictures from the past 3 months?

Well, I started looking at pictures and quickly got overwhelmed (paring down and choosing is not my strong suit), so I'll try to do some posts soon that have pictures in them. For now, here are a few from the past couple of weeks:

These adorable twins LOVE Kate:

Playing games with friends:

Out to dinner with the Gillons and the Martins

(it's the only recent picture I could find with our whole family in it):

I'm hoping to post more posts in the next few days. We'll see. I'm feeling incredibly scattered these days and usually writing helps. That being said, I'm not convinced this post helped. Better luck tomorrow?

How Am I That Same Woman? (Take Two)

I wrote and posted this blog post this past Monday, (May 4th, 2015), 

but then I took it down right away because I wanted to add pictures, so here it is with pictures.

My oldest is 15 and my youngest is 12. For many years after the birth of my youngest child, we weren't sure if we were "done." We always pictured ourselves having 4 kids, but we spent a lot of time on the fence for many years after the birth of our second child.

Then my wise husband noticed that every time I thought I might be pregnant, it was met more with panic than excitement, so maybe that was our answer. Of course if I ever had gotten pregnant again, we would have welcomed that child with joy and love, but yeah, we figured out that we're good with two.

So here I am, 41, dealing with occasional peri-menopause symptoms and overloaded with baby stuff - stroller, walker, bath seat, toys, crib, you name it. Yep, we've kept everything "just in case." We weren't sure so we kept it all so that we wouldn't need to repurchase anything if we did have more kids. We kept this stuff long after we decided that yep, we're not having more (2009). Apparently, I'm a bit of a hoarder.

But with our move, we've started to purge some stuff and organize what's left. We've sold some things at a consignment sale - a high chair and a few other things. There's something bittersweet about parting with that stuff, the things that have helped you raise your babies. There's a pang, an ache. Your sweet babies grow up. Time marches on.

Mommy and Baby Kate in 2000

Today, we parted with the crib. A woman came to the house today and picked up all the crib parts and the mattress. It's on its way to a center in Africa for children with AIDS. As I helped her load the parts into her van, she told me that this crib will likely hold more than one baby at a time. I'm glad it's going to a place like that. That helps me, as well as them.

But for a moment, during the 10 minutes the woman and I spoke as we carried the parts and loaded them into her van, I felt a cosmic shift of time. I was me, but 16 years earlier, and I was standing outside unloading baby items from our car and into our home as we prepared for the birth of our oldest child. It took a conscious effort for me to bring myself back to the present, the here and now, and I was dizzy from the adjustment.

And that's when the emotions washed over me. In that moment, 16 years passed by in the blink of an eye, imperceptible to the woman loading up a crib that was no longer ours, but undeniably obvious to me. In that blip of time, I aged, regressed, and aged again. From 41 to 25 and back to 41.

How am I that same woman who was so nervous with anticipation for her first labor and delivery? How am I that same woman who was thrilled over ordering a new toy for her as-yet unborn baby girl to have when she arrived? How am I that same woman who packed up that crib and moved it cross country, unpacking it again so many states and miles later in a new home, this time for her baby boy? How am I that same woman? 

Mommy and Baby Maxim in 2003

I don't feel older. I don't feel like that much time has passed. It doesn't seem possible. It's been so fast. Too fast. Where has the time gone? Now my babies are 15 and 12, and time seems to be going faster. Why does it feel like time is such a thief?

It took me years to give up the crib and it hurts. How the hell am I ever going to be able to handle them going to college and starting families of their own? Will time shift again when I become a grandma? Will I stand there helping to unload a new crib and think again, how am I that same woman? Will it be in the blink of an eye? Like 25 to 41?

I gave away our crib today and aged 16 years in a second's time. And as I stood there, eyes burning with tears, all I could think was, how am I that same woman?

Random Thoughts Mostly From This Past Friday Apparently

Every Easter, my mom sends us Portuguese sweet bread

 that is baked with a boiled egg (in its shell) in it.

It's a (delicious) Easter tradition.

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I've figured out why I'm not enjoying Modern Family anymore.

The past two seasons have stunk, in my opinion.

All the characters are shallow and self-absorbed.

I *hate* shows where there's no depth of character in ANY of the characters

(like Seinfeld, King of Queens at times, etc.).

Phil has some depth, so they make him a stupid buffoon.

The show used to be touching. Now, it's terrible.

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I HATE contractors right now. HATE.
I'm so angry and frustrated and annoyed.
Our pipes froze over 2 months ago
 and they are DRAGGING their feet to repair it
and it's house buying season and we have an open house coming up,
and we're trying not to cry and rage
(unsuccessfully).

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My SIL just gave birth to a nearly 10-pound baby boy.

He came out looking like he's 3 months old!

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Why are phone camera pictures so fuzzy?

What can I do to make them clearer?

It's hard not to shake while holding the phone like that.

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Loved the show Parenthood. Sad it's over.
Even though a lot of the characters drive me crazy, their family is remarkable.
Are siblings really like that? There for each other like that?
Are you like that with your siblings? If so, why?
Did your parents do something to foster it?
That has not ever been my experience,
but I hope I'm fostering that in my own children.

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Easter is my least favorite holiday.
I don't know why, but I just haven't ever gotten into it -
not as a kid, not as an adult.

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I'm always jealous when I decide not to shave my legs
 and then get together with someone who has.

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We're (maybe) hosting foreign exchange students this summer!
We've been toying with the idea for years and we're going for it.
I'm pretty sure we're getting one from Spain and one from France.

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Max is so snuggly in the mornings especially.
Today (I wrote this on Friday),
I noticed something while we cuddled
and he stretched (he wakes up slowly).
He's at that age where I sometimes see a little boy
 and other times I see the young man he is becoming.
It's bittersweet.

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I love the feeling of being covered gently with a blanket.

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Our van acted up this past week and had to go into the shop.
That meant we couldn't do our 2-day family trip to Baltimore
 like we'd planned.
The van got "fixed" and today (this past Friday),
 while running errands,
did the exact same thing again.
And we have plans tonight and tomorrow that require the van.
This has happened a lot with our mechanic.
We went in and Mark raised hell.
Not happy.

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Why were we not happy, you ask?
Well, dear reader, that's because right before the van thing?
Mark drove by our farmhouse and saw workmen,
so he went in to see the progress.
You know, the progress that was supposed to be done a month ago,
but is DEFINITELY supposed to be done by today (this past Friday).
Except that there are new problems he didn't tell us about.
And it's all NOT going to be done by today (Friday).
We are beyond frustrated and the plumber got an earful.
Their feet dragging is holding us up in major ways
and it is totally stressing us out.

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Since I wrote this on Friday and then had an extremely full weekend,
including an awesome, all-day Dr. Who party for my 15-year-old daughter,
I better go ahead and post it.