Funny Thing 1 Stories (and a Thing 2 story)

The older kids get, it seems the less "little-kid" funny stories there are to tell. As they gain more knowledge of the world around them and acquire more street smarts, the innocent humor seems to fade a little (though potty jokes remain very much alive and well).

Thing 2 is at a great age for those kinds of stories. That being said, I'm excited that I have two Thing 1 stories that I've been itching to share for a couple of months.

Two-Minute Mystery

I so wish I had written this down sooner, because now the details are fuzzy, but here goes. You'll get the gist, though the actual story was really far more clever than I'm recalling at the moment.

The other day, we were trying to get some stories straight involving money buckets, the amounts therein, and a big sister and her little brother. Thing 2 vehemently said that he did NOT switch money around or mess with it in any way.


Thing 1 claimed she was missing a $5 bill. Thing 2 had a $5 bill in his jar that he claimed was his. We were trying to figure out what was what. We went over and over (and over) the stories again and again (and again). And it seemed there was no way to prove what happened. (Incidentally, this is when we started having them keep ledgers, which has been a brilliant money-teaching tool as well).

We started to rehash how much they make each week and what they'd each recently spent. We figured out that Thing 2 had saved 8 dollars and then he said, "Wait a minute! I spent $4 on (something I don't recall)."

That's when the light bulb went on for me and Thing 1 at about the same time. We looked at each other and that's when she said, "Wait! Then he can't have a $5 bill! If he had 8 and spent 4, he'd have only ones!"

I stood there impressed. Thing 2 looked sheepishly caught.

Thing 1 then excitedly declared, "It's like an Encyclopedia Brown case!"

And for the record, it turned out to be a different mix-up. He really hadn't stolen 5 bucks from his sister. They have multiple money jars (savings, tithing, and fun money) and there had been a slighter mix-up among them. Again, I don't remember details. But the point is . . . ledgers? Good. Encyclopedia Brown? Funny.

Sacred Catholic Rituals

Around the same time, we picked Thing 1 at her friend's house. They'd spent the afternoon together and Thing 1 had stayed for dinner. Thing 2 missed her VERY much, by the way. Thing 1 hopped in the van, excitedly telling us all about her adventures. After a while, she started this story:

"Oh! And Kirsten (her BFF) told me something you shouldn't do with your finger. She says it's like swearing at the other person."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, her little sister was pointing with that finger and Kirsten yelled, 'No! Sophie, don't use that finger!' and then she explained it to me like this."

Thing 1, holding up 3 fingers said, "She told me, 'Now, imagine if I put this finger down and this finger down.'" Thing 1 pointed to her pointer finger and then her ring finger. "'The one left? That would be like swearing at someone.'" (Her cute friend didn't actually put the other fingers down, but merely explained how to imagine it. So cute.)

And then the best part.

Thing 1 then shrugs and says, "I don't know. I think it's part of their religion or something."


7-year-olds and hell

Well, this was going to be a Thing 1 post, but Thing 2 graced us with this gem today.

Thing 1 is sitting on the chair playing a lute she bought as a souvenir at President James Buchanan's house (AWESOME field trip, by the way).

Thing 2 is sitting there listening and then says, "That sounds horrible, because you're blowing the hell out of your head."

It took me a minute and then it registered, but I thought I hadn't heard him right.

"What did you just say?"

He happily responded, "She's blowing the hell out of her head!"

"The hell out of it?" I verified again, just to be sure.

"Yeah."

"Where did you hear that?"

"I don't know."

"It's not a nice thing to say."

"Oh."

And that was that.

It's reminiscent of this story when Thing 1 was 7. I love that story, too. :)