Thursday, January 28, 2010

Because they're there.

Idol thoughts. Dancing around my head. They must come out. Because that's how I roll.

Here we go, stream of consciousness style . . . my mind gives a key word or phrase and then my mind answers it. All of this is interspersed with random outbursts, also courtesy of my mind. Kind of like Tourette's, but not exactly (and no reference to the contestant who really has Tourette's, nor is any kind of offense intended or implied).

Random Tourette-like outbursts are not labeled. All other keywords are indicated. We're starting with an outburst.

TEDIOUS! TEDIOUS! Audition weeks are so TEDIOUS! Two more weeks of this crap and then we get to the bridge between SUPER TEDIOUS and NOT TEDIOUS AT ALL (to me), that bridge being ONLY A LITTLE TEDIOUS (because I kind of like it a lot) -- Hollywood week.

Avril Lavigne: Useless, giggly, and don't even get me started on how much she ticked me off with telling that one guy no because she thought he couldn't balance family and work life. That is so not her call. Her call is "yay" or "nay" on their singing talent. That's it. He's there to audition, so obviously he has chosen to pursue it, at least for now. Oh, and her horned hoodie looked stupid.

Katy Perry: I liked her. She has her own thoughts independent of MissIMustHaveBeenSoPopularInHighSchoolThatIThoughtGirls
AlwaysAgreedWithGirls. I loved that. I'll take that to the Kristin Chenoweth Estrogen Fest. Gag.

Some Jonas Boy: Useless. He said, what, maybe 3 words? He just sat there looking what I can only assume is "pretty" to the teeny boppers of today. I spent the whole time wondering if he was the Jonas brother who publicly proclaimed, after returning from his honeymoon, "Sex isn't worth the wait." I kept wondering if his wife would think he was pretty enough to look at that she'd get over starting their marriage off on that insulting foot.

Neil Patrick Harris: Doogie did a pretty good job. But what's with the seating arrangement? He was the first guest judge to not sit by Simon. They even had annoying Kristin Chenoweth (who so totally reminds me of someone who shall rename nameless) sit near him and she was totally irritating him. I think Simon is a homophobe.

What the heck was with the Barney girl turned dominatrix? Was she that scarred by being on that kiddie show with the big, purple dinosaur? Okay, so maybe . . . Either way, her voice wasn't that great. I predict she won't be making it past Hollywood.

All right. So I guess this is more about the guest judges than anything else. Oh well. None of the contestants jump out at me as that memorable. Off the top of my head right now, I like the different sounding contestants who have personality -- like the Portuguese girl, the guy who was on Broadway with Fantasia, the kid whose parents were in gangs . . . yeah, that's about it. Bring on Hollywood. Oh wait. 2 more episodes of crap first.



Dr. Mark said...

One more week of this--heaven help us all. Love your thoughts on the guest judges. Surprise, surprise. We think alike on them. I keep thinking about how many people actually audition and how few they show and I wonder if little Jonas said much more than "yeah" or "no."

I also hate how Barney Gone Wild came in in costume and was praised for being herself when other people are criticized for it. It probably has more to do with the costume choice than the fact that she was in costume.

Maybe next week won't be so bad. Although, I thought I saw Posh Spice again in the previews so I'm guessing that's a fruitless wish.

kristenhcubed said...

I'm behind on watching my idol episodes. I've decided that is okay because I love reading your comments first and then having them in my head as I watch. It sets me to laughing instead of being annoyed. (I did watch the Kristin Chenoweth "estrogen fest" last night. You're killing me with your descriptions! So right on. I thought Kristin and Kara were worse than teenagers with their obnoxiousness. Gag!)

Anonymous said...

I don't get why they would even have Avril as a guest judge. She acts like a 13 year old. Her horned hoody was obnoxious and offensive. SIGH. Also, Kara is really annoying. I never noticed until Paula left!

Jimmy said...

I thought Arvil and Kate both came across as way too full of themsevles given their marginal talent. I didn't like Kate giving that chia pet dude a hard time.

Boquinha said...

Mark, totally agree on the double standard. As you know. Since we talk while watching the show. :)

Kristen, your comment cracks me up! I am honored. And motivated to keep reviewing! Thanks.

Yes, debaser! I agree. Bring back Paula!

Jimmy, which one was that? The kid from the foster system?

Shawn said...

This round of auditions has annoyed me more than they have in the past. Perhaps because it seems SOOOOO much more contrived, even than before. We really only see about 7 or 8 performers, unless you count the montage that shows 30 in one second. We can predict that there will be one really bad singer, who mistakenly think they s/he can sing, and who is devastated when s/he doesn't get a yellow ticket, one crazy person who is super exicted and brings a lot of energy, one really good singer with a somewhat interesting story, one gag artist who is clearly only auditioning for his 15 seconds of fame (except that for some reason they extend his fame grant to 5 minutes), and the show will conclude with a heartwarming tale (cue the violins) about a contestant that does not look like an American Idol, but who sings surprisingly well. Mixed in with all of this editing are a handful of other really bad or somewhat good contestants, and the show always closes with Ryan telling us, "oh by the way, there were 15 others who made it through to Hollywood, but we're not gonna let you hear them, we'll only show you clips of them coming out of the audition room and then standing as a group outside yelling "I'm going to Hollywood"". (Like my double quote?)

Re the guest judges, I seriously leaned over to Rebecca and said, "Does Joe Jonas say anything other than "Ya"" (Double quote again!) Her answer: "na". I was so angry at Avril. Her comment about the preacher was completely inappropriate. He wouldn't have auditioned if he wasn't aware of the commitment. I liked Katy Perry, too. Good, intelligent comments. And her interactions with the contestants was wonderful. Doogie was also good. Again, insightful, not afraid to stand up to Simon.

But now it's over. Time for the good singers. Time to pick up my Pants on the Ground.

Boquinha said...

Wow, Shawn! That's quite a comment! It reminds me of my earlier rant about how "I Hate Auditions" (I think that's the name of the post, too). My biggest beef is that they show 3 great singers, 13 lousy ones, and then in a 1-minute montage tell us all about the other 39 people who got golden tickets. Grrrrr.

April (Thorup) Oaks said...

I didn't like the guest judges. No one seemed real.

J Fo said...

I agree with Shawn. It's really feeling contrived and formulaic. I think I may have stopped watching completely by now if it weren't for the option of fast forwarding through all the crap! I think Doogie was my favorite judge and he was the one with less music background. BRING ON ELLEN and Hollywood!