Go-Go-Gokey

Indeed. Let's get to it.

We start with Ben Stiller and company telling us that the American Idol desk is going to be in the Smithsonian. Smithsonian? Smithsonian! Hey, they're in a movie filmed at the Smithsonian! What an incredible coincidence.

And seriously? A desk? Who thinks that's a desk? It's more like a monstrous glitzy console. And I wonder, do the red coke glasses get to go to the museum, too? Because without them, it's just a table with the American Idol logo on it. Quite frankly, it's almost unrecognizable.

After that shameless movie plug and a little a lot of stalling on Ryan's part (Fringe viewers must be elated for that) so that Paula could get back from the bathroom, he introduced the judges.

We were then treated to the Ford video set to "Break My Stride." I proudly admit that I sang along to the whole thing and I remembered EVERY lyric. It's one of my favorites from growing up. All three contestants (top three male contestants - this is a first in Idol history and I like it!) exhibited their super powers in cartoon -- Adam can find secret walls that turn into grills with sizzling steak on them and save them from big dogs, Kris can get really big and blow ominous clouds away, and Danny can turn into Elastiboy and move traffic out of his way. Go buy a Ford.

And after Carrie Underwood's uncomfortably dreadful video appearance yesterday (“Have you ever had malaria?” No. “Good. Then the mosquito net’s working.” ), we got to hear something far more articulate from Alicia Keyes. Ryan asked the audience to give her a "warm welcome." Simon gawked like a dirty, old man. He's not one bit subtle. I gawked a little, too. She looked hot.

Then we got to hear a little Rwandan boy named Noah work the stage better than Jasmine Trias ever did. I think it's dang impressive that he learned the song in English in one week, but I just want to know if he was saying that his back was up against the law? I was unclear. My favorite part of his performance was when he danced up to the judges and shook their hands while dancing and singing. That's more coordination than Danny's ever been able to handle. And I love that Simon smiled and said, "Hello, Noah" while he sang. And Noah, ladies and gentlemen, is one of the first guest artists to not lip sync his performance, so he should get a prop for that.

Another thing I love about Top 3 week is getting to see the top 12 in the audience. I love the finale and the lead up excites me.

So, we also got to see their hometown visits. Danny returned to Milwaukee and got to see Jamar, be on the radio, pick Simon's nose on a weather map, and watch fans try to outrun his stretched out suburban. Ryan tells us several weeks ago that the studio uses earth friendly lights and other eco gadgets and then they blow it all on the emissions for that beast that holds one person plus the driver. Duh.

Kris returned to Conway, Arkansas. I hadn't really noticed that he's a good southern boy. That plays in his favor to win. Many an Idol comes from the South. So, Kris didn't just get a day in his honor. He got free cheese dip for life. Not sure what's better, that or the free Ford he'll get next week. I'm gonna have to go with the cheese dip. Kris got to go on the radio and tell caller 8 that he was a winner and then a loser. Then he got to see the enormous crowd that was waiting for him. I'm not sure what possessed him to jump into it, but he (and his three large bodyguards) did just that. Girls were grabbing him and tearing at his leather jacket. After that, his wife rode up front with him. Anyone else notice that his mom and his wife don't hug? Mother-in-law issues anyone? We hear from his parents, we hear from Kris, but nada from the wifey. During the parade, he got to see old ladies in pink dresses and green hair (they were confused and thought it was Adam's parade). And what on earth is with all the screaming 4-year-olds?? I thought teenagers and tweeners and maybe 8-year-olds were the types, but 4-year-olds? I don't care, though, because they played his "Falling Slowly" performance to the montage and I love that song. Kris is adorable and has quickly worked his way to the top of my list of favorites.

Then we got to watch Jordin Sparks perform. My, has little Jordin grown up or is it me? She was STUNNINGly beautiful. She looked fantastic. I think she's got great stage presence. Talk about passion. She flung her ring at the camera man! She's so comfortable up there and is dramatic and convincing in her presentation of lyrics. I don't know about you, but I ran out and bought some armor by the time she got to the first bridge. Move over Pat Benetar. Love is not just a battlefield. It's an all out war.

Adam got to go all the way to San Diego where he got to sign shoes, Guitar Hero guitars, and old men's polo shirts. He got to experience having a streaker rush him on stage. He also got to apply eyeliner to the anchor woman. Just a banner day all around. He then sang the national anthem at a military base. Don't ask. Don't tell.

Ryan then announced the next guest artist, Katy Perry, which got a big "who?" from me. It had slot machines. It had showgirls. It had raining money. She was wearing what I can only assume was an Elvis bathing suit. After seeing Alicia and Jordin on stage, the sequined bathing suit just wasn't doing it for me.

Then it was results time. I think I may have damaged a vocal chord when they announced that Kris was safe. YES! That announcement shocked two people on stage--Kris and Danny. Knocked the smugness right off of Danny's 5 o'clock shadowed face. It apparently shocked 4 people at "the desk," too. Oh well, my dears, over 88 million votes have spoken. And apparently, only 1 million separate Kris from Adam.

Gokey fans need not worry. You'll hear Danny on your favorite Christian Rock radio stations where he'll be using his husky, raspy goodness to sing about Jesus and rock-n-roll. That's what he wants to do and now he has the AI platform to launch it.

I am SO EXCITED for next week's finale. I like BOTH contestants. It really comes down to personal preference. I like them both for different reasons, but if I were buying CDs, it'd be Kris's, hands down. I like Adam a lot, don't get me wrong, but I don't think Adam is necessarily a slam dunk winner. They'll both do well (on the finale and in their careers) but it's anybody's game at this point. This past year, I thought for sure little Davie Archuletta was going to win and was thrilled to hear that David Cook beat him out. I don't know what will happen but I'm excited to watch!