Thursday, May 5, 2011

Steven Tyler Says Beautiful Things

Now that Casey left, I'm so bored, we watched both shows in one night.

The Top 5 performed 2 songs each and it was all over the place.

Randy started the night by stating the obvious and saying typically non-profound things and either someone held up an "applause" sign or the audience is getting stupider by the season and truly will clap for anything, as Mark says.

James - "Closer to the Edge"
Was he sick?? It started horribly and just when I thought it was getting better, it didn't. The judges mistook "loud" for "good."

Randy's "In it to win it" tally count for the evening - 47

Jacob - "No Air"
Jacob attempted a duet by himself with 3 back-up singers in smoke. I listened to it and missed Casey. There were more off notes and more nit-picky criticism from the judges. EVERY TIME. I wouldn't mind that they pick on him all the time if they would do the same with every other contestant when they deserved it, too. I do agree with Randy on this one -- more Luther, less Chris Brown. Randy and J-Lo argued and the show turned into The View and was equally as annoying.

Lauren - "Flat on the Floor"
Beautiful girl, hideous outfit. That could be her tagline. Fringe on a belt?? That said, she was the best of the night so far.

Randy's "In it to win it" tally - 63

Scotty - "Gone"
That was more upbeat and fun than we've ever seen him. Now, that was the best so far. That's the first time I've actually enjoyed a performance by him.

Randy's "In it to win it" tally - 94

Haley - "You and I"
Jimmy had her sing an unreleased Lady Gaga song. Are they priming her to win? She looks like a mermaid -- the one from Splash. I think the song worked. I wish I liked her more so I could be excited about it. Wow, she gives some serious crusties when she's criticized. She has a major attitude. YUCK.

James - "Without You"
It was powerful and moving and raw. It was off in several parts, but overall it was very, very good. I love his more intimate songs. The final few seconds of the song were even a little, gasp, Broadway (which was kind of weird). He looked like he'd just finished singing, "Do You Hear the People Sing?" from Les Miserables. Strange.

Steven Tyler's "beautiful" tally - 1, 193

Jacob - "Love Hurts"
Jimmy seems to be sabotaging Jacob . The judges say "Do more Luther" and meanwhile Jimmy is saying (pre-recorded), "If he does more Luther, I think he's going to be in trouble." The judges and Jimmy are at odds A LOT. I think Jacob is making it hard to like him, too, with his constant and effusive self-praise. Blech.

Steven Tyler's "beautiful" tally - 2, 726

Lauren - "Unchained Melody"
I didn't love it. It was a lousy arrangement and boring. Yawn. I think Lauren's parents vomit in their mouths a little every time Steven ogles her.

Scotty - "Always On My Mind"
Jimmy's right. The judges constantly give the conflicting advice, "Be yourself" and "Do something different."I've said that many times over the years! These Judges vs. Jimmy boxing rounds are kind of entertaining. Scotty's performance of this song, however, was not. Boring, boring, boring. I liked it better when he was jumping around. But his grandma's cute.

Steven Tyler's "beautiful" tally - 2, 989

Haley - "House of the Rising Sun"
Awesome a cappella introduction. That was really, really good. And wow, the judges are on their feet. Wow. Now she's smiling. Too bad she's so annoying. She needs to learn to take criticism as well as she takes praise.

Randy's "In it to win it" tally - 137

My favorite part of the evening? Listening to Steven.
Predictions - Jacob's leaving.

------------------------

Oh, how I love the wonder of TiVo. On to results! All in one night! Huzzah!

Group Number

They started with a horrific group number. This group sounds absolutely TERRIBLE together. They don't blend at all. I feel badly for everyone who is watching Idol for the first time this year. I mean, the group numbers always suck, but this year's are especially bad. They usually pre-record and make them lip sync, but this year they figured, "Ah, screw it. They sound awful anyway. Don't bother." Either way, I fast forward.

WTH is Lauren wearing?!? Who is dressing her?!? It's hideous. Is it pants? Is it a skirt? Do I hear a motel lampshade? What on earth??

Haley sounds the best in the group. Too bad I don't like her.

Other Stuff

I hope Jacob had fun making the most boring Ford Music Video in the history of time, because he's so leaving.

"Hell's Kitchen" meets "American Idol"

Well, it looks like Jacob can be extraordinarily happy cooking omelettes. That bodes well.

Lady Antebellum showed us what it's supposed to sound like when voices blend together.

Mystery solved. Lauren's stylist is trying to kill her. (And we all nod and let out a collective, "Ahhhhhh!")

Jimmy basically destroyed Lauren right there on the stage. He said her lack of confidence is going to do her in, so he probably figures kicking her while she's down will expedite the process. Several points here. 1. He's right. 2. She's 15. 3. It's harsh. 4. It's how the industry is. 5. Would you be okay with your 15-year-old going through that? 6. He's right. I'm so conflicted!!

J-Lo always dances with wind in her hair even though it blows nowhere else. Curious.

Results

Scotty, Haley, and James are safe.

Child Labor Laws don't apply to or protect aspiring singers. Lauren is a mess.

Jacob is going home and so sings us out with a song that has no end. The show ended and he was still singing.

And that pretty much sums up Idol for me this season. They're singing and we're ready for closing credits. Bore.

13 comments:

Dr. Mark said...

And this post? It's a beautiful thing. You are in it to win it, clearly.

Jaredski said...

I haven't watched much this year. Mostly because I can't stand the cheerleaders ERRRRRRR judges. Where was Simon to tell Lauren that her Unchained Melody was a mess? And who's going to tell Scotty that his Willie Nelson cover was boring and predictable, and that wire sticking out of his head was extremely distracting? Randy used to pride himself on "keeping it real" but he's given in to peer pressure and turned into a marshmallow.

I haven't tuned in since the two best singers left, and the show desperately misses them. I was trying to imagine any of this year's guys going up against Archuleta and Cook. It's not even close. Stacey, take it easy on Haley, her last performance was AWESOME. One of the best ever on Idol. She's clearly the best one left, so naturally she'll probably be going home next week.

Jimmy said...

Stacy's "How I love Tivo" tally -???.

Somewhere near the hundreds, right?!

They should pay you.

Robynne said...

LOL Mark!! :p

Random Thoughts:

I can't wait till the show is over...is that terrible? This year seems to have done all it can do.

Have you watched The Voice? Very interesting - I don't know if it's just new and different or what but it seems like all of their first round singers and better than most of the AI finalists...I'm just sayin'... ;p

I thought everyone actually did quite well, at least in one of their songs. Admittedly Haley killed it with House of the Rising Sun. I'm with you though, I just don't like *her*.

On the results it seemed like Lauren had never been told a bad thing in her life and didn't know what to do with it. She is just so young and inexperienced and probably has rarely had negative things thrown at her.

I really don't care much for Jimmy Ivine (or however you spell it) as far as this show goes. He seems to miss the mark with most of the things he says/does for the contestants. It does seem like he's been setting Jacob up for a downfall and Haley up as the glorious star.

I loved Scotty's "Gone", especially since I just saw Montgomery Gentry do that live last week!! He definitely did it justice.

I'm wondering if they're going to keep these same judges next year? (Will there even be a next year at this rate?) I really liked them at first but they all say the exact same things over and over (as your tally shows! ;p).

Also, I am so sick of the amount of advertising in this show - Coke, Bing, JLo, Hell's Kitchen...it's like one big commercial with some singing thrown in.

And I think those are enough random thoughts! :)

Robynne said...

Ooooh, that's funny what it did when I wrote "Hell's Kitchen"!!! :D

Chelle said...

Jared and I actually watched half of the performance show. Didn't get to see James at all, but the reviews at the end didn't look or sound too great. We were both blown away by Haley, but I wish we would have been able to see her first song to know what they were talking about.

I'm bored with this show, but somehow can't seem to give it up completely.

kristenhcubed said...

I'm loving your reviews! I don't have to watch it anymore. Thanks for giving me back so many hours of my life. I owe you. Keep the "sums" coming!

Boquinha said...

Mark, bwahahahaha!

Jared, Randy is SUCH a follower, it's ridiculous. And soooooo annoying to watch. Who do you think are the two best? Pia and Casey?

Jimmy, absolutely.

Robynne, agreed! Haven't seen The Voice, but it sounds intriguing. Yep, Haley did great on House of the Rising Sun, but the look on her face as she got criticized for that first song was SUCH a turn off. Just yuck.

And I TOTALLY agree -- SO SO SO sick of advertising being thrown in my face DURING a show. I really resent it. Have you heard of Morgan Spurlock's newest film, "The Greatest Movie Ever Sold?"

P.S. What did it do when you wrote "Hell's Kitchen?" I don't see anything?

Rachelle, she was SO ANNOYED at being criticized. She had such a sour look on her face and her eyes narrowed and she just GLARED at the judges. It was really uncomfortable.

"Bored but can't seem to give it up completely" -- yep, I can relate! Thank goodness for Amazing Race. I don't blog about it, but I actually prefer it to AI.

Kristen, LOL! Glad I can help, but now I'm wondering if it's kind of pathetic that I spend time watching AND writing about it. So, thanks for the comment. I'm happy that it's my own little way of giving back. :P Heheheh. It's the least I can do.

terahreu said...

Just watched these episodes. You always hit the nail! Haley is so 'meh', Lauryn seems like she would fit more into a Texan talent show than American Idol. Scotty knows he has it made with the country market. The guy can coast from here on out. James, well, it is hard not to look at him like an amateur Adam and for James, it was time to go.

The best comment of the post:

J-Lo always dances with wind in her hair even though it blows nowhere else. Curious.

I am still pondering this....

Robynne said...

It only shows up on the actual blog site, it's normal on the email comments - it replaces "he-l-l's" with @#!*%...funny that it does it automatically (and even more so since it sends it normally in the emails!)!

I haven't heard of that Morgan Spurlock film...I'll have to look it up!

Boquinha said...

LOL, Terah! If you figure it out, please fill me in!

Robynne, that is so weird! It's showing up as "Hell" on my blog. I wonder if you have some kind of filter/setting? I'm so curious now!

Robynne said...

I do have filters and stuff on my computer, but none that I know of that would change a word on the screen? That is funny - I thought it was just blogger or a setting you had on there!! Strange!?!

Boquinha said...

Very weird!! And kind of funny, too!