Fingers Crossed

About a year ago, North Carolina voted to approve a constitutional amendment that bans same-sex marriage. When I read the news that day, my stomach dropped, and without meaning to, I said, out loud, "Oh no."

The kids asked me what happened and I explained it to them. We talk quite a lot about this in our family, so this wasn't a new topic for them, but it was breaking news about a specific state's vote on the issue.

See, over 4 years ago, the Prop 8 campaign in California already sickened me. And here it was, years later, and the news from North Carolina highlighted that with regard to civil rights, rather than progressing as a nation and as human beings, things were regressing.

I've always felt strongly about equal rights, even as a child. People sometimes say, "Why do you care? You're not gay." My response to that is, "I'm not black either, but I have always felt passionately against racism and have ached for people who have been on the receiving end of hatred and inequality."

Our whole family was upset by the news from North Carolina this past May. The kids went up to bed and within minutes, Thing 1 came downstairs with a hand-written letter, set it between me and Mark, and said, "I want to send this." She wrote the following letter completely on her own:

The next day, President Barack Obama went on television in support of gay marriage. We have felt immensely proud of our daughter for being so forward-thinking and expressing her support, even before the President himself did.

She has sent this letter out to several politicians, both locally and nationally. We have actively supported groups that fight for gay rights. We have seriously considered marching in Washington this week. We have distanced ourselves from groups and organizations that oppose civil rights for all.

I have a pin that says:

Mark got me a stylin' t-shirt that says, "Right Side of History." I will be wearing that t-shirt tomorrow as we watch the news and follow this issue. We hope hope hope the Supreme Court votes in a way that is fair and right - ensuring civil rights for all.

They felt justified, too.

Mark and I have felt frustrated these past many months, because we have not felt like we can post this letter openly on our family blog, because we know that it doesn't necessarily align with what many of our family and friends think, but we also recognize that our censorship is self-imposed.

Yes, many may not agree with us on this issue. We have not wanted to argue about it nor have we wanted to get into big political/religious discussions about this issue and our stand on it.

But whether or not people agree with us doesn't matter. What matters is that people's rights are being denied, history is about to change all that, and we want to be clear about what side we're on.

And what also matters is how immensely proud we are of our daughter and her immediate action on something she sees as so obviously unfair. If she has the guts to write and send a letter like that at age 12, I can have the guts to publicly post it on our blog at age 39.

I will, as always, not censor comments just because someone may disagree. People can say what they please. I do not, however, have a ton of time at the moment to get into big political/religious discussions. I will say, though, that there is more to come and I'll have more to say soon.

More Random Thoughts

Really enjoying my birthday this year.
Feeling very appreciative of thoughtful family and friends.

------------------

It is strange to me that people are very particular

 about who they let sleep at their house,

 but some seem to have no qualms

 about letting their kids sleep at strangers' homes elsewhere.

---------------------

Ever see those big huge family pictures and think,

 "That is so not our extended family?"

Yeah, me, too.

---------------------

We haven't sat down to a big, huge, extended family dinner

since 2009.

--------------------

Thing 1 is LOVING volunteering at the library.

-------------------

Thing 2 has a couple of friends who are boys

who shyly admitted that they like "My Little Pony."

Well, a while back,

 as a consequence,

I had found an episode of "My Little Pony,"

to help teach a lesson on some topic.

After "torturing" (his words, not mine) Thing 2

with this method, he admitted that it wasn't so bad.

Well, when his friends shared with him that they like it,

he told them, "It's okay. I've seen it and it's pretty good."

I think that is SUPER sweet of him.

He's a very empathic person.

I hate gender stereotypes

and we try not to reinforce them in our family.

--------------------

Thing 1 told me that she heard a statistic that said

that kids laugh over 400 times a day

whereas adults laugh 17 times a day.

How have I turned into one of these people?!?

Now, every time anything comes up about mortgages

or bills or work, we're all, "This is why."

Which only reinforces the point. :/

--------------------

I just used the word "reinforce" twice.

Now three times.

--------------------

A sneak peek at our kids' personalities:

Thing 2 dropped a cookie on the floor, picked it up, and made a face

that showed he was both grossed out and sorry to waste a cookie.

(I believe it was a girl scout cookie, so he had good reason).

It was so quick that I told him to brush it off and that it was fine

(which is saying something, because I'm a total germaphobe -

something I have apparently passed on to my son,

but not so much to my daughter).

He looked at me and said, "Are you sure?"

I shrugged and responded off-handedly with, 

"If you're grossed out, give it to your sister."

 Thing 1 immediately outstretched her hand with a smile.

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If I had a time machine,

I'd visit the 80s.

Not to relive my childhood (in fact, no thank you),

but simply because the 80s were SUCH a great time.

No stress, no fuss, just good movies and music and fun.

--------------------

So, I read this article the other day,

and one of the tips just blew me away.

I was so annoyed at the story in that tip,

that I scrolled down to read through the comments,

sure that someone else would be just as outraged.

It took me quite a while of scrolling down to find

where someone finally said something about it.

Everyone was carrying on

 about other tips that bothered them,

but most seemed nonplussed about a tip

 that was glaringly problematic to me.

Do you see it?

Hint: It has less to do with dieting

and more to do with lousy friends

and being a wimp.

---------------------

The other day in the kitchen during breakfast,

we were listening to music and I was hearing songs that took

me back to my childhood and adolescence in that way that music does.

I started thinking about how excited we get about these things

and how, so often, 

I want my kids to have (and love) the great things I loved in childhood - 

my favorite toys, games, experiences, songs, TAPES, movies . . . 

and I do share those, 

but part of the wonder of being a kid

 is making your OWN childhood memories

 based on your own experiences and tastes and discoveries.

 I love getting to be a part of that

 and observing their evolving personalities, beliefs, and likes.

Champion who they are and not try to make them into something else.

-------------------

Thing 1 is officially taller than I am.

Also, she is funny and witty and beautiful.

Thing 2 is sweet and thoughtful and honest.

(And such a cutie.

 Little girls are developing crushes on this boy!)

Have I mentioned that I love these kids?

I really, really do.

--------------------

I got a nice compliment this past week from a woman who said

that she and her husband often discuss how nice our kids are

and how much they like and admire and enjoy them.

Wow, that is so nice!

--------------------

By the way,

our kids have been blogging a bunch.

I'm sure they'd love visits and comments!

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Thing 2 is always using these big words for his age.

It's hilarious.

Recently, it was "collaborate."

He comes downstairs one night a couple of weeks ago
and says with a huge smile,

 "I've been reading and thinking about if the Johnsons moved here

 - I really hope they do! -

 and Brennan and I really like to make games

 and we can collaborate and grow up and have a business together.

 I told Brennan that and Brennan (who, by the way, is 7) said,

 'But you'll be working for me,'

 and I told him, 'We'll talk about that when you get here.'"

 Bwahahahaha!!

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Thing 1, soon after this, correctly used the term "thinly-veiled."

Yeah, we're raising nerds.

---------------------

Here is a list of 5 true confessions.

And this is not one of those things

 where you try to sound like you have a "problem"

 that is really a strength (like in job interviews).

1. I have been dealing with chronic neck pain for over 18 years.

2. I love blog comments and they make me happier than most people realize.
3. I often have a messy (for me) house. Clean, but messy. Very lived in.

I used to think I'd be an immaculate housekeeper. Nope. And fine by me.

4. I am VERY easily distracted and don't always finish projects.

5. I sometimes let fear hold me back

 (financial fears, fear of being in trouble, fear of hurting others).

--------------------

Along those lines,

there is a great quote from the movie Garden State:

 "I'm okay with being unimpressive. I sleep better."

-------------------

My husband is awesome.

He totally cleaned the house this weekend,

while I caught up on emails and such.

And then he told me

 that the fact that I've been writing a blog post

and chatting with his friend online

while doing so,

makes him very happy.

How lucky am I?!?

-------------------

The other day, I saw a phrase I really like.

"School-Free Life" -

I like that better than "homeschooling" or "unschooling."

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I love floor plans.

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People can say things until they're blue in the face.
But actions show what one TRULY values.
"I can't hear your words - your actions are too loud."
I see this go both ways - people showing they truly care
and showing they truly don't.
Talk is cheap. Actions are powerful.

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Two non-words I cannot stand:
"Prolly" and "Imma"
I seriously got an email from someone this week
who used the word "prolly"
and I wanted to reach through the screen and throttle someone,
screaming, "It's PROBABLY. That is ONE more freaking syllable.
Is that so hard?!?"
And Imma? Really? As in, "I'm going to . . ."?
As in song lyrics like "Imma love you" and "Imma be your man?"
I'm waiting for the line that says "Imma moron."

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We were watching Big Bang Theory
and they were eating fondue.
So of course we paused the Tivo
and made fondue to eat
while watching the rest of the show.
What else was there to do?

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From "Bleh" to "Whoopee!"

So, we've been feeling kind of "bleh" for a while now. We had a GREAT 2011 and it continued into 2012 and then just got sort of "bleh." Not bad, mind you. Just bleh.

Bleh.

See, I think the Johnsons ruined us. Remember them? They moved here in 2011 for a temporary traveling nurse assignment - they were here for 3 months and we clicked like nobody's business. We clicked so much that they took their next temporary assignment in an area near here so that we were able to continue to hang out. It was far enough away that we couldn't see each other quite as often, but close enough that they could spend weekends with us. Which we did. With great frequency and much food, talking, and laughter (and very little sleep).

Then they moved to other assignments back in their home state of Arkansas (too far), New Hampshire (closer and we were able to get together a couple of times, including a really fun New Year's Eve celebration), CT (even closer - we were able to meet in the middle, get together here, get together there, and visit NYC together), MA (a little farther, but again, able to see them here and there - no posts up yet because we're all so ridiculously behind on them). And in between all this, we'd Skype, text, and call each other.

Then they settled in Springfield, MA. We knew it was coming. He's on a heart transplant list and we always knew the eventual goal was for them to live closer to Boston. In fact, he had to be within a 4-hour radius of Boston and his doctors there. And since we're 2 hours outside of that radius, I just kept hoping for an earthquake (one that wouldn't hurt anyone or anything) that would somehow just shift Boston about 2 hours closer to us so that they could be in their radius but be near us, too.

They say we ruined them, too. This was their first assignment and we clicked so well and have so much great stuff here and live in such a cute town and all get along and have the greatest homeschool group . . . you get the idea. So, they always said that post transplant, they'd want to settle here long term. But for now, it had to be MA, that long-term plan years away.

I've blogged about them a lot, but not nearly enough - we've done far more together than I've told everyone. We've visited places together, we've visited each other frequently, we eat everywhere we go and enjoy THE BEST food, whether we eat out or cook together. We talk non-stop FOR HOURS on end. We like many of the same TV shows, movies, books, hobbies, foods. We pontificate about anything and everything. And we laugh like crazy. 

Something I have failed to blog about is that fun New Year's Eve visit. It. Was. Awesome. We decided to make it a tradition. This past year didn't work out, because they had just gotten a new puppy and they were sick on top of that, and my mom was here with a hurt back, but in general, yeah, tradition!

When they came that New Year's, on their way to NH from Arkansas, I think the entire neighborhood knew they were back since they were yelling in excitement from a mile away from us and we were yelling in anticipation (yes, we texted this entire thing as it happened), and we couldn't even let them in the house without hips and hollers from everyone and jumping around and screaming and hugging on the porch.

That night, we exchanged Christmas presents together. And here is their most awesome gift to us:

Awesome, right? They made that for us. I love gifts like this! It's a framed collage of pictures of all of us. Can you make out what it says? "Friends: The Family We Choose." Yep, we'd known them less than a year and this is how we mutually felt about each other. Close like family.

It's nuts that we've only known each other for two years (this Saturday is two years exactly!), because it feels like so much more. We celebrated our 1-year anniversary by giving them a photo book full of pictures of all of us. (Shut up. We're awesome.) We absolutely love them and they love us. We often say that everything would be better if they just lived here. :P

Wow. Holy tangent, Batman! (See? They ruined us).

So anyway, back to the "bleh" thing. We have been feeling restless. Maybe it's because we've been here for 10 years - the longest we've ever lived anywhere. We wondered if it was time for a new place and experience.

I have, at times, felt sick of just about everything around me, even though there's so much we love about this area. I could list all kinds of things like how I miss New England personalities, more liberal politics, and more progressive thinking (though I do see that changing in an overall positive direction). We don't have any extended family support here. At times we feel lonely. Just bleh, bleh, bleh.

It isn't like me to feel negative, so I figured it's my yearly seasonal-affective-disorder episode talking and that, come spring, I'd be fine again.

See, here's the thing. There's so much to love here.

1. It's affordable.
2. Nice pace of life (and it's gorgeous).
3. Location: small town near some really nice big cities.
4. Our own business/Great moonlighting gig
5. Nice, 4-season weather

We have a great homeschool group, parks, libraries, swimming, activities. We have good friends here, a book club, and an absolutely wonderful independent theater and adjoining coffee shop in town. I don't think you could find a better place in many ways.

But yeah, we've been feeling bleh. Maybe it's a mid-life crisis. We need to mix it up somehow - in a good, fun way.

So, we've been brainstorming what to do - move away? Move within the area? Start a new business? We like what we're doing, so we wouldn't want to get rid of it, but maybe just change it up somehow. Our business is in its 6th year - maybe it's time to expand? We love our 1850s farmhouse, but maybe it's time to update?

I don't know. We're considering different options. But things just went from "bleh" to "WHOOPEE!!"

Wanna know why? Okay, then keep reading. It's me telling this story, so there are many, many details to share. I'm fun like that.

Remember this past week when we went to our favorite old-fashioned ice cream shoppe? Remember how we told you it's closing? Remember how we cried with the owner, the sweetest ice cream lady ever who is so awesome to our kids? Remember how we took her flowers and a card because we found out that her husband had died and that's why she was closing shop? Okay, I don't remember if I said that on the blog, but that is why she's having to close her business and it's so sad.

Well, she and I got to talking and she explained that her husband had had a heart transplant over 20 years ago. I hadn't known that. I shared with her about the Johnsons (who have eaten ice cream at her shop with us) and how Dave has HCM and is listed and waiting for a transplant. She nodded at all I was saying and then smiled a bit and said that that all sounded familiar, as her husband had had HCM as well. I did not know that. She then said what a wonderful job the local hospital did with it all and joked that we should tell the Johnsons to move here for their medical care. I chuckled with her and joked that we and the Johnsons could keep the ice shop running together. She liked that idea.

I texted Dave, knowing that they of course are committed to their doctor in Boston and already listed on the wait list there and settled in a house in Springfield, and told him of our experience at the ice cream shop. Small world, you know? They've been in a slump, too, so we text now and then and commiserate.

Fast forward to two days later. That night, our family had a fiasco of a dinner preparation in our kitchen that turned out so horribly that we bagged the experiment, left the mess, and went out to eat. We sat in the restaurant, all down and bummed and trying to cheer ourselves up. We felt lonely and isolated. I've been in such a slump for weeks. Mark and I have been mulling over our restlessness and ideas. Lots of thinking. Lots of sighing. Being out helped and the food was wonderful. 

While we were eating (and rediscovering a great place we hadn't eaten in a while, so of course we were saying, "Oh my gosh, we have got to come here with the Johnsons when they visit!"), Dave sent us a text that said, "We REALLY REALLY need to talk to you guys, like asap. Something good hopefully. Can you Skype?"

I looked at Mark and half-laughed, "Heh, wouldn't it be awesome if they had to talk to us to tell us they're moving here?" We knew that was kind of out of the question, but it's fun to dream.

Mark texted and said, "Stacy's been depressed for like 6 weeks, so unless you guys are moving back here, I'm not sure what would be 'good.'"

To which Dave replied, "Then we need to Skype."

We raced home and got on Skype immediately. The kids took their computers upstairs and got on Skype with the Johnson kids and we got on with Dave and Christie. They were flipping out. It turns out Dave went to the doctor that day to deal with some of the progressive symptoms he's been having and, while there, they learned some new information.

It's long and complicated, but the gist is that people who have the disease he has are waiting much longer for transplants up in the Boston area and with him progressing the way he is, they need him to be somewhere that wouldn't make him wait as long, bonus if it's a less expensive place with more of a support system to boot. Topping the list? YOU GUESSED IT.

"Whoopee!!"

They mentioned this area to their specialist, given the recent story we heard from the lady at the ice cream shop and relayed to them. They did their research and this area is TOPS for a good fit for them. Like there's nothing better in the whole country. The specialist loved the idea of them moving here. AS DO WE.

We are over-the-moon ecstatic. WHAT ARE THE ODDS?!? Crazy slim, that's what.

To recap: They moved here. We totally clicked and had a great time. They moved away and we all cried. We got together as much as possible. They love it here and we all wanted them to be here, but life said they had to be in Boston for many years until they could get back here again. And, in less than a week, everything changed - new information, changes, plans, updates, and big news. They're moving back for good within the next few months.

We are all shocked, reeling, and beside ourselves with excitement and happiness. They'll be here next month to house and job hunt. The kids are through the roof about this. We all are! BRING IT. We all needed this. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled we are.

So, a toast to "this very surprising turn of events!"




And a tribute (because we all - I'm not kidding - danced in the kitchen to this song tonight after hearing the news officially):

Yep, it's all "working out!" :) Because we have gone from "Bleh" to "Whoopee!"

Watching Her Grow Up

This past Tuesday, she walks into the library to drop off an application to work a volunteer shift. I stayed in the van watching her grow up before my eyes. She carries herself with sweetness and confidence and maturity. 

Saturday, as she's leaving for archery class, we hug and discover that it's official - she's taller than I am. I look up at her and we both smile, hers is a subtle-but-proud "YES!" kind of smile. Mine is more of a bittersweet acknowledgement, but mostly happy for her, because I know she loves it. We have a deal, the kids and I, that as they grow taller than me, they'll always look out for their little mom.

She is hungry for more learning, more experience, more insight. Mature beyond her years, yet such a kid at heart, she asks us things that keep us on our toes and awe us with her thinking. She is driven - always writing, always thinking. She cooks. She creates. She runs around and climbs trees. She reads voraciously. She writes for one of the top writing websites on the Internet. She teaches herself guitar.

This morning, I hear THIS SONG on my iPod and get weepy listening to it as I eat breakfast with my kids. I loved that song growing up - Peter Cetera is one of my all-time favorites. Listening to that song as a parent? Good luck not crying. It's upbeat and all, but (*sniff sniff*) it'll get you. 

So, I take my beautiful daughter to her first volunteer shift. She got herself up and ready on her own, so excited for this very grown up responsibility and opportunity. She has her hair combed beautifully and she is wearing her "Self-Rescuing Princess" T-shirt, mismatched socks (she started doing that long before it was a trendy thing to do), and pink Chucks.

It started snowing hard as we took this picture

Mark stops in after his morning shift at the hospital to see how she's doing. She is shelving DVDs when she looks up and sees him, smiles, and says, "Hi! This is fun!"

She is growing up before my eyes - tall, mature, hilarious, confident, beautiful, sarcastic, smart. She plays violin with grace, kicks butt with her black belt in tae kwon do, giggles hysterically when horsing around with her brother, reasons with insight, cracks jokes with quick timing, writes with talent beyond her years.

And she just melts me. She is loving and compassionate, witty and smart, insightful, passionate, and strong. She thinks things through, develops her own feelings and beliefs on weighty matters, and takes action - raising awareness, donating money, writing to legislators.

Celebrating her first day of volunteering with lunch out

She is growing up before my eyes. She is wonderful and good and amazing. She makes the world a better place.

She is good to her family, her dog, her friends, strangers, children, animals. She is my daughter and my friend. And I constantly feel so over-the-moon lucky that I get to be her mom and watch her grow up right before my eyes.

Why, thank you!

Thank you, Thing 1! I've won another award from my daughter. I love that we share a love of blogging (and awards with writing prompts).

Rules

1. Nominate ten people.
2. Answer the questions.

3. Thank the blogger who nominated you.

4. Notify the bloggers you nominated.

Questions

 

1. The job you want to have?

I absolutely love being a mom. Like truly. I enjoy my kids and love that we homeschool together. I do some counseling on the side and that is also something I enjoy. I love that it's something that helps people and that it's something I'm pretty good at. I also love to write and think it would be really cool to be part of a writer's team for a TV sitcom (I love group energy and I don't one bit mind public speaking). 

2. Favorite singer/band?

Oooh, tricky. See, when you grow up, you have "all-time" favorites as well as current favorites. My all-time favorite singer/band is Peter Cetera/Chicago. My current favorites are many and varied, but include Michael Bublé and Adam Levine/Maroon 5.

3. Favorite choc or sweet?

I assume they mean "chocolate?" Ugh, this is hard. I prefer salty to sweet. But I do love cookies and donuts, so let's go with those.

4. Three words to describe you?

Feisty, Compassionate, and Particular

Nominees 

1. Mark at Sushi and Pizza.

2. Thing 2 at I Don't Eat My Drumsticks.

3. Dave at News of My Demise.

4. Jimmy in the comments.

5. Emily (no rush- I know she has a lot going on right now)
6. Um . . .
7. Er . . .
8. Uh . . .
I really wish more people blogged.


Thanks, Honey, for this wonderful honor! :)

More thoughts, because why not

There are more and more incidents in the news

 about local convenience stores being held up at gun point.

It's sad. I think it's a sign of desperation.

This economy is really messing with people.

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I struggle every winter.

I've been feeling down and

my friend Linda knew it,

so she brought us a home-cooked meal,

complete with Valentines and treats for the kids.

That really touched me.

We really don't get home cooked meals

 (besides our own) much at all.

So that was a real pick-me-up.

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Our kids both got haircuts and,

wow, are they looking grown up!

---------------

 Our favorite old-fashioned ice cream shop

is closing this month.
We're so sad about it.

We went today to visit the owner

and she cried when she saw us.

It made us cry, too.

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Thing 1 knows what she wants for her birthday dinner:

Bacalhau A Gomes De Sa

 (Portuguese Codfish with potatoes and onions)

Yum!

---------------

I think the BSA is passing the buck.

Stand for something, you know?

Such bullcrap.

Saw a comment online that hit the nail on the head:

" . . . does their sexual orientation make them any less capable

 of building a fire or a pinewood derby car

 or offering community service?"

Seriously.

 It's 2013. History will show what a shame it all is.

I want to be on the right side of history.

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I loved having penpals as a kid.

Our kids have several penpals -

some by mail and some by email,

both in the US and in other countries

(Japan and the Ukraine).

---------------

Did you know Ed Sheeran has a song

called "Small Bump" that is about a pregnancy

 that ends in miscarriage?

Heard it yesterday and cried,

for the first time in a long time,

about my first pregnancy that ended

in a heartbreaking miscarriage.

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Whenever I start a book,

I get to know the book by reading the back,

the flaps (if it's a hardcover),

the praise, the acknowledgements,

the dedication, about the author, etc.

I hardly ever just dive right in.

What about you?

---------------

We haven't ever paid for cable

(more than the EXTREMELY basic one

 that gets you networks).

We figured out that over the years,

by not getting cable,

we've saved about 10K.

---------------

It occurs to me that when people come visit us,

they are not getting a feel of how things are here

 day to day,

since we pretty much drop most "routined" things

 and focus on enjoying our guests.

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I often cry when people cry.

-----------------

The kids got Valentines and treats in the mail

from Grandma.

So fun.

 I miss having grandparents.

I haven't had grandparents in about 20 years.

---------------

What are you doing (if anything) for Valentine's Day?

---------------

 

More Thoughts (I think a lot)

Saw this headline today and thought,

"Wow, just when I thought people couldn't get any stupider."

-- New technique could track brain damage in NFL --

Really? Now we can TRACK it? Swell.

Rather than see a problem and do what it takes to end it,

 we'll track it.

Natural Selection is tough at work in the great USA.

----------------------

We watched a Taylor Swift interview

in which she said about her mother,

"It's unreal to me how she was just so behind my brother and I,

 no matter what.

Like I don't remember ever having the thought,

'My mom's so selfish.'

Like I never thought that.

Or 'My mom's vain'

or 'My mom, you know, like, cares about all this stuff.'

I've never thought my mom was self-involved,

not even one time.

Because she's always been, like, so behind us.

So I think if I could ever be that kind of a parent

 someday way way way way wayyyyyy in the future . . . "

Wow! What a testament that is!

I hope I'm that kind of parent to my children.

---------------------

This is the problem -
We're expressing ourselves with Memes
 and making them suit our points.
 Clever and brief.
I like a lot of them,
but sometimes it seems like
there's no rational dialogue among people anymore.

---------------------

As I write this (Saturday afternoon),
there are 6 men at my dining room table
playing D&D.
I love that I married a geek.

---------------------

There's this new social media trend
where people start sentences with the words,
"That feeling when" or "That moment when . . . "
except that
THOSE AREN'T SENTENCES!!

--------------------

The 30 Rock series finale was awesome.
So awesome I could cry.
I absolutely love that they didn't sexualize
Liz and Jack's friendship.
It was beautiful.
Also? Liz Lemon is such a cool character name.

---------------------

Thing 2 has been working hard
 on creating a game with Mark.
He finished it, the directions are all typed up,
and we get to test it out!
He is REALLY excited
and I am REALLY proud of him.

--------------------

Thing 1 did a beautiful job on her violin recital Sunday.
We're grateful to good friends who came out to support her
and cheer for her!

---------------------

If you have to call yourself a hippie,
 you're probably not one.

--------------------

At breakfast one morning this week,
Thing 2 leaves the room and says, about a door, "I'll leave it ajar."
"Ajar?" I say.
Thing 1 looks at me and says,
"He's been listening to too much Lord of the Rings."

-------------------

January 20, 2013

Kids are at a birthday party at one of those places

 that has gymnastics, rock climbing walls, etc. 

Mark took them and gave me some much-appreciated quiet time. 

He just texted me and said:

Kids are having fun. Kate made it to the top of the rock wall.

 Max stayed firmly planted on the ground.

Me: Did he try?

Mark: No. He’s not much for heights. 

I suggested he try and he said, “Daddy, you know me, right?” 

 -------------------

 I just read a book about a woman's struggle

with bipolar disorder.

Her meds cost her about 3K/month

and that didn't count expensive,

 not-covered psychiatrist visits.

She said her mother helped her.

How do people do it?!?

-------------------

Something I love and appreciate about my gay guy friends
is that we both agree on good-looking men!

------------------

Know what really stinks?
People get ideas in their heads and stick to them;
they project an idea and then believe it
(whether or not it's true).
Our perceptions are our realities.
And if two people disagree and stick to their own perceptions
about the same thing,
who budges?
They both think they're right.
Ugh.

------------------

I've been thinking a lot about R.O.I.
(return on investment),
not just with money, but with time and energy.
Is what you get worth all that you put in?
Food for thought.

------------------

The advice is given:
"Live each day like its your last"
and
"Save for the future" -
Anyone have the secret on how to do BOTH
at the same time?

-----------------

I hate appointments.
Dentist, hair, whatever.
Even a fun thing can seem like something tying me down.

-----------------

We have the BEST little independent theater in our town.
It is one of our favorite places here.
It's attached to a great coffee/sandwich shop with a fantastic vibe.
We saw Les Mis there (incredible!)
and this week they're getting "Silver Linings Playbook!"
So excited.

----------------

I'm restless again.
I get like this now and then.
I feel something creative coming on
(I hope!).

----------------

Saw a great quote this week by Louis CK:
'I’m bored' is a useless thing to say.

 I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world

 that you’ve seen none percent of.

 Even the inside of your own mind is endless,

 it goes on forever, inwardly, do you understand?

 The fact that you’re alive is amazing,

 so you don’t get to say ‘I’m bored.”

---------------

Piggy-backing that,
I don't think I've ever heard the phrase
"I'm bored"
come out of my kids' mouths.
Maybe once if ever.
And I love that.
Isn't the goal to keep them hungry and curious
and not to squelch that with busywork?

--------------

If you could live anywhere,
where would it be?

--------------

January/February are not easy months for me.
I think I have SAD.

-------------

We've had a lot of good discussions around here.
Everything from sex to Santa.
Parenting is fun.

--------------

I hate it when nothing sounds good,
because I love food so much.

--------------

Reader Appreciation Award

Thanks, Magic Violinist, for a chance to answer more questions! I love these! I don't sit down to blogging nearly as much as I'd like to, but somehow these quizzes at least get me taking a break to blog, so thank you.

Rules

1. Link back to the person who nominated you.
2. Attach the icon to your site.
3. Answer the attached questions.
4. Nominate six bloggers who you feel deserve this award and notify them about their nominations. 

Questions

1. What is your favorite color?
Blue, because it's calming and beautiful. Maybe that's because it's the color of the ocean?

2. What is your favorite animal?
Ditto Mark. Monkeys are cool, but yeah, we pretty much have the best dog ever. I love her so much.

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
What Mark said (water). Except the sweating part. But yes, I love love love water.

4. What is your favorite number?
Not sure I have a favorite number. I will say that I don't like things perfectly even or perfectly odd, though.

5. What is your favorite day of the week? 
I, again, agree with Mark. I'm really loving low-key weekends to hang out at home as a family. Simple, wonderful pleasures.

6. What is your favorite flower?
Daisy.

7. What is your passion?
Family, social justice, friends, writing, and food.

8. Do you watch television?
Yes. I love to laugh, so sitcoms are my very favorites - "The Big Bang Theory" and "Modern Family" and "Go On" are all family favorites (we also really enjoy "The Amazing Race"). And I always love watching "I Love Lucy."

9. Who is your favorite author?
This one is hard. I have favorite books by many different authors, so a favorite author is trickier to identify. I'm not sure there is someone whose book I must read when it comes out. I do think, after having read her first two graphic novels, that I would read anything by Alison Bechdel.

10. Do you like 80s movies?
Um, is the Pope Catholic? I don't just like them. I LOVE them. I am a huge fan of the 80s and think the movies from that time are wicked awesome. Some of my favorites include anything with John Cusack (Better Off Dead, One Crazy Summer, Say Anything), Back to the Future, Karate Kid, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Princess Bride, A Christmas Story, all the John Hughes/Molly Ringwald films . . .

11. How do you like your eggs?
Scrambled, dippy, and in Dutch Babies. I love, love, love eggs. It is one of two foods that I think taste better when someone else makes them for you (that and hot cocoa). Mark makes delicious eggs and that's saying something, because he does not like them, but is such a good sport to make them for me.

12. When did you discover blogging?
2006.

13. Why do you like to blog? 
It's fun and makes me write and share with family and friends. I like the interactive nature of it, so comments are always really fun to get.

Nominees 

1. Thing 2 at I Don't Eat My Drumsticks.
2. Jimmy.
3. Um . . .
4. I, uh, . . .
5. Not sure.
6. Sadly, many of my blogging friends don't blog like they used to. I wish more of my friends blogged.

Exciting Things for Our First Thing

So, Thing 1 has some exciting news. On her own she has been connecting with a lot of people in the writing industry--writers, editors, etc. Working on her monthly column for The Write Practice has been extremely helpful, but she is also one driven girl.

She sent a query letter to one such blogger looking for feedback. Basically the letter is one that Thing 1 would like to send to prospective agents, convincing them to take her on and represent her novel. She asked us for help, and we looked at the letter, and we both thought, "Wow! That's great!" Well, neither Stacy nor I are published authors, and we have zero experience with query letters.

I guess I have slightly more than zero experience, but not much. I did submit a manuscript of children's poetry to about 30 agents about 15 years ago. Judging by my lack of success, I am not the right person to give advice about query letters.

Anyway, back to the exciting things. Go check out Michelle's Vlog at Random Writing Rants talking all about the big event coming up on Friday. Hint: It involves Thing 1, but you knew that already, didn't you?

UPDATE: Here's the actual post with the query letter.

The Quizzes Keep Coming!

Thanks again, Magic Violinist for a chance to answer more questions! That's another major award!

Rules

1. Link back to the person who nominated you.
2. Attach the icon to your site.
3. Answer the attached questions.
4. Nominate six bloggers who you feel deserve this award and notify them about their nominations. 

Questions

1. What is your favorite color?
Green, although blue is a close second. I think I like green because it seems to fit all the seasons in some way or another.

2. What is your favorite animal?
Well, a dog is hard to beat, especially since we've got an awesome one. I still really like monkeys, though.

3. What is your favorite non-alcoholic drink?
Hands down it's water. It refreshes. It's healthy. It's one of those things that can really make you feel better when you drink it. Plus, I sweat very easily, so I'm constantly needing water.

4. What is your favorite number?
I don't know if I have a favorite number. I always liked 13 as a kid because I refused to believe anything so arbitrary as a number could be lucky or unlucky. I wore number 22 when I played baseball because my favorite player wears number 22. The number 73 is kind of cool, for all the reasons Sheldon Cooper likes it. I like numbers.

5. What is your favorite day of the week? 
I really don't know on this one. I like every day for different reasons. I probably like weekends the best because I don't work at the hospital as often over the weekends so I have more time to hang out with Stacy and the family, play games, watch movies, or whatever else sounds good.

6. What is your favorite flower?
I don't have a favorite since I like a lot of variety. I really like the simplicity of daisies. They fit my general taste.

7. What is your passion? I wish I knew. I have lots of things I love, but sadly, day-to-day life and complications have sort of squelched that part of my psyche. I'm trying to rediscover it.

8. Do you watch television?
I do. Not a TON, but it is a nice way to unwind at the end of a day. I watch mostly sit-coms, like "The Big Bang Theory" or "Modern Family." "Go On" is becoming a family favorite. Stacy and I successfully caught up on 7 seasons of "30 Rock" and now we can enjoy the series finale with the rest of the country.

9. Who is your favorite author?
Hemingway. I love the straightforward style of his writing. I appreciate that he can convey a very complex and deep story without needing to confuse the reader with long sentences and archaic language. I love Tolkein, for different reasons.

10. Do you like 80s movies?
Yes, I do. They were fun and quirky and had great writing and characters. The best ones didn't have to stoop to low levels for a cheap laugh.

11. How do you like your eggs?
Mixed in some sort of dough or batter. Please don't make me eat them! I didn't do anything wrong! I can make them pretty well, though.

12. When did you discover blogging?
I discovered it a number of years ago and thought it could be a great way to do online journaling and share pictures and things. I'm not the greatest blogger, but I enjoy it when I do write.

13. Why do you like to blog? 
It's a fun way to share a lot about myself and also share thoughts I'm having. I also like sharing things that our family is doing.

Nominees 

1. Thing 2 at I Don't Eat My Drumsticks.
2. My mom, of I Don't Have a Blog but I Often Have Witty Things to Say.
3. Peter, at I Also Do Not Have a Bog, but Maybe I Should.
4. Dave, of News of My Demise (or I Enjoyed Arguing with Illogical People at Facebook--Until I Took a Break).
5. Chuck, at I Can't Think of Any Other People Who Might See This and Do It So I Picked a Random Name.
6. Adelaide, at See Number 5 Above.

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award (Mark)

 

I'm not sure how I was included in the Sisterhood, but I'll take it as a compliment. Hey, I've been included in far worse groups so I'll proudly post the award. Thanks, Thing 1!

Rules

• Acknowledge the person who passed the award to you and provide their link.
• Include the award logo on your blog.
• Answer the ten questions posted below.
• Make up your own ten questions for the next people.
• Nominate blogs and link those you have especially enjoyed reading. The number you can select is up to you.
• Notify each individual that you have nominated them.

The Magic Violinist's Questions

1. Do you like to write? If so, what kind of stuff? (Stories, reports, poems, just blogging, etc.)

I like to write a lot more than I remember liking as a kid. I like writing a lot of different things, and like the challenge of trying new things, even if I rarely take the time for it. I've enjoyed writing books (especially the one I did with Stacy). I also like the fantasy novel I wrote 2 years ago. Admittedly I like that book more now that I've seen the kids' responses to it. I also like writing poems sometimes. When I blog I'm reminded of how much fun that can be. I like answering questions that other people write for me to answer. I'm working on writing up the rules for a game Thing 2 and I are making. I'm working on writing a teleplay for a sitcom and also have ideas for movie screenplays. Where to start, where to start . . .

2. What book or movie has inspired you most and why?

That is a very tough question. OK. I thought of one. The book Les Miserables by Victor Hugo. I read the entire unabridged version while I was commuting to San Francisco for a job. My commute was 2 hours long so I read a lot, and that is a book I always wanted to read. The story is incredible, and the interactions between characters is fantastic. Stacy and I saw the musical on Broadway and the performance is awe-inspiring. The right story paired with the perfect music is something that can't be explained--it has to be felt. We're hoping to see the movie this weekend, so maybe I'll add the movie to this list, as well.

3. What song gives you chills every time you hear it?

There are quite a few songs that can do it, but the first one that came to mind is "Fragile" by Sting. The lyrics are incredible and the music itself is haunting. I've heard multiple versions of the song, both live and from the studio, and it doesn't matter which one it is. They are all incredible. 

Others that can give me chills include "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel, "Free Fallin'" performed by John Mayer, and anything performed by J.J. Johnson (jazz trombonist).

4. What is the weirdest thing you do?

I'm not sure what would be considered weird, especially since I seem completely normal to me. Help me out here! Someone?

5. If you could eat a color, what color would you eat and what would it taste like?

I think I'd like to try eating red. I bet it would be spicy. Yum!

6. What is your favorite stuffed animal and why? (You can post a picture, if you'd like)!

My all-time favorite stuffed animal is my raccoon named Guy. Right now he's somewhere in the attic of my parents' house, which is the house in which I grew up. I've had him for as long as I can remember. My new favorite is my Webkinz raccoon named Guy. The kids bought it for me for Christmas and he is pretty cool. Plus, online, he has an awesome house, complete with a baseball-themed bedroom and sports bar-themed playroom.

7. What is your favorite gaming website and why?

I don't do a lot of gaming so this one is tough. I suppose I'd say Wizard101 because the quests are pretty fun and I enjoy leveling up my wizard. It's been fun to play with the kids as well.

8. What annoys you most?

Things that waste my time, especially if I've taken the time to streamline a process. Why make things efficient if no one else seems to care? And I really don't have enough time for all the things I need/want to do so anything that wastes that precious commodity is on my list.

9. If you could have a million dollars for a day, what would you do with it?

I'd probably spend the whole day wondering what I should do with a million dollars. A few things that come to mind are paying off my student loans, paying off the mortgage (so exciting, right?), prepaying for a massive trip around the world, and giving away money to random people.

10. If you were ruler of the world for a day, what would you do to change the world?

You mean I'm not the ruler already? ;) I would take all the leaders of all the countries and lock them in a room until they figured out a way to coexist peacefully while providing for the needs of the entire world. There are more than enough resources to make sure we have no poor and hungry in the world. How long can I be leader again?


Nominees

I nominate whoever feels like answering my questions. I don't have the energy to even consider who might see this and feel like doing it. I think I know the answer, though.


Now, My Questions

1. Do you like making lists of questions? Why?
2. If you had to make a Scale of Awesome with "0" being "Totally NOT Awesome" and "10" being "So Totally Awesome It Will Explode from Sheer Awesomeness," what examples would you use to illustrate such degrees of Awesomeness?
3. What 3 qualities do you value most in a friend?
4. Divide your life so far into 4 equal parts. Using food, how would you describe each time period?
5. In your opinion, who let the dogs out?
6. If you could be named anything else, what name would you choose? ("I wouldn't change my name. I like my name" is not an acceptable answer.)
7. If your life were a movie, under which genre would it be listed?
8. Which actor would you cast to play you in the movie from question #7?
9. If hell meant watching the same TV show or movie over and over again forever and ever, what would your eternal torment be?
10. Paper or plastic? Discuss.

Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

 

My awesome daughter received an award and then nominated me for it, too! How lucky am I?

Rules

• Acknowledge the person who passed the award to you and provide their link.
• Include the award logo on your blog.
• Answer the ten questions posted below.
• Make up your own ten questions for the next people.
• Nominate blogs and link those you have especially enjoyed reading. The number you can select is up to you.
• Notify each individual that you have nominated them.

The Magic Violinist's Questions for Me

1. Do you like to write? If so, what kind of stuff? (Stories, reports, poems, just blogging, etc.)

 

I don't like to write . . . I love to write. I like to write anything - emails, blog posts, whatever. But when I do work on my novels and stories, I tend to like semi-autobiographical writing and I like it to be funny (because I like to laugh). I also have noticed that I often like stories that deal with some aspect of mental health. 

 

2. What book or movie has inspired you most and why?

 

Hmmmm. Different books and movies inspire me for different reasons. For example, A Tree Grows in Brooklyn and Jane Eyre inspire me to want to write beautifully . . . words of worth. Those books are both so beautiful, that I feel myself taking in the words and savoring them instead of just rushing through for the story. On the other hand, the Harry Potter series inspires me, because it's so GOOD and so intricate and so, well, inspired! I think J.K. Rowling is an inspired genius and that, in and of itself, inspires me. As for movies, lots of documentaries inspire me by educating me and many foreign films inspire me with their wonderful, ambiguous endings that make me think and wonder and decide my thoughts on the story.

 

3. What song gives you chills every time you hear it?

 

"The Prayer" by Celine Dion and Andrea Bocelli - there is a note they hit, right at the end, that always gives me chills. In fact, I got them just now even thinking about that note. 

 

4. What is the weirdest thing you do?

 

I feel like I should let someone else answer this, because if I do something, I probably don't think it's weird. Lemme think . . . okay, I've got one. Whenever I eat, I do this thing - without even consciously thinking about it - where I eat a little of everything so that when I'm almost done eating, there is exactly one bite of each thing on my plate.

 

5. If you could eat a color, what color would you eat and what would it taste like?

 

Hmmm. I think yellow would be citrus-y and fresh. I think green would be healthy and energizing. I'm going to go with blue, because it's my favorite color and I think it would taste rich, but not overbearing, and delicious. I think it would make me feel calm and good all over, much like the color itself does. 

 

6. What is your favorite stuffed animal and why? (You can post a picture, if you'd like)!

 

I love all of my kids' stuffed animals because I know how special they are. A personal favorite of mine would have to be Tubby, my stuffed bear. I've had him since I was a kid and he is worn and loved and comfortable for snuggling. (I have always known that toys are real and have feelings - way before Toy Story).

 

7. What is your favorite gaming website and why?

 

Umm, I don't play a lot of online games, but I've always enjoyed Boxerjam's Strike-a-Match and we used to enjoy playing Ticket To Ride online, too. One More Level can be fun for a quick break now and then. I like Webkinz. And I want to check out Pottermore. I prefer blogging to gaming, though. Really, my bigger distractions on the Internet are news sites and articles as well as my email. 

 

8. What annoys you most?

 

Flakiness. And when people are disrespectful of my time. 

 

9. If you could have a million dollars for a day, what would you do with it?

 

Well, if I could have it for a day, I'd better use it, right? I'd pay off ALL debts, build a new custom house - no, two houses - one here and one somewhere else (probably on the beach), I'd hire a personal assistant, buy tickets to all the things and places and events we'd like to see - a trip to Europe, etc., help people who could use the help, maybe get a nice RV for road trips, and invest it as a way to make it last. As I type this, I am reminded of something someone just told me - money does not buy happiness, but it can sure help us not be UNhappy.

 

10. If you were ruler of the world for a day, what would you do to change the world? 

I'd want to rid the world of anything that would hurt people . . . so I think I'd try to get to the root of the issues . . . . and try to rectify ideologies that perpetuate harm. Encourage peace and equality for all.

Nominees

I nominate anyone who would like to do this post. I specifically nominate bythelbs to kick off her foray into traveling pants and sisterhoods. :) Otherwise, I'd love to hear Emily's thoughts, Jimmy's thoughts, and my kids' thoughts. But now I think I'm just naming the only people who actually read and comment anymore (who aren't already doing this tag - like Mark). :P And I suck, because I haven't read Emily's blog in about 3 weeks. I'd tag my other SILs, but I don't think they blog anymore. What is happening to the world?!?

My Questions 

1. What are 3 of your favorite TV shows and why?

2. What is one of your very favorite simple pleasures?

3. What is the name of one of the books you have in a pile to read?

4. What is your favorite thing to do with your sibling(s)?

5. What is your favorite thing to do when you have quiet time?

6. If you could have a free meal weekly at any kind of restaurant, what kind of cuisine would you choose?

7. What is something about which you are VERY curious?

8. If you could build a dream house, what special room would you want in it?

9. What is your favorite and least favorite household chore?

10. Paper or Plastic?

Thanks again, Thing 1, for the award! :