Sunday, February 3, 2008

Good Friends

I could make a huge list of strange things and stupid comments I've seen and heard today, like being pounced on (innocently enough, but still) within 5 minutes of being in the building (though my friend did jump up to bail me out, which was sweet!), like being sarcastically asked if we're visiting, being fawned over for being there (Gag. So makes you want to not be there. Why can't people be secure enough in themselves to just act normal?), and like being called (kiddingly, but still) "apostate" (it took great restraint for me to not make him feel stupid by saying, "Yeah, well my Dad died."). All these comments have "Christlike" written all over them, don't they? No wonder people home church. Anyway, I'm so glad that I've gotten past caring what others think (it's so amazingly liberating), but it can still be annoying, even in its well-meaningness. But rather than focus on that (and that's an abbreviated list), what I really want to say is this:

Three acts by friends stand out in my mind today as things that have kept me sane on an otherwise difficult day (seriously, why did I leave the house today?). Ugh.

1. Our awesome friends came by this morning to share fauschnauts with us. We LOVE culinary traditions and fauschnauts are one of our favorites! I love cultural and religious food. And they're SUPER yummy. Mmmmmmm. Happy Mardi Gras. Read a short blurb about it here.

2. My friend who took the time to tell me how touched she was to read about my Dad on our blog and how he sounds amazing. It's so sad to me that from now on, those who haven't had the pleasure and blessing of meeting him will only know from stories--the stories are great, but the man is even better. Anyway, she had the sincerity and depth to say, "I've really wanted to help, to do something, but I haven't known what to do. He sounds like an amazing man." And then she cried with me and hugged me. Right in the middle of the womens' bathroom.

3. My friend who simply let me be me and didn't make a fuss about how long it's been since we've been in church or make a fuss about anything related to church attendance at all. She simply let me BE ME. And she gave me space. And she was refreshingly normal with me. And she even made me laugh.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to bed. (Not really, but I am nice and cozy in my comfy, warm clothes). I love being a homebody.

5 comments:

nicole said...

It really was good to see you and your family but I can understand how that experience(of going to church) must have been exhausting. Who am I kidding? Its exhausting under normal circumstances.

Boquinha said...

Seriously, isn't it a zoo?

Or a 3-ring circus. I can't decide. :P

Emily said...

but it is good to go, even on the circus days, even just to set an example for the kids that it's a priority no matter what (at least that's what dave always tells me after one of THOSE weeks)...

Boquinha said...

Yes and no, though. We're really big into balance. And we actually teach our kids that you have to use your good judgment. Church attendance is *one* tool for spirituality, but an all or nothing approach can become rote and damaging (people start to assume that if you're there you're fine and if you're not you have problems when truly the opposite of both can be true!). We have no problem whatsoever when it's been busy/stressful/whatever having a "family day" on Sundays and we stay home and rejuvenate and they do WONDERS for us.

When I went through really bad depression (and pretty much didn't leave the house for anything for 8 months), I eased up A TON on the "perfect attendance" thing and it's been really good for us--it's restored a sense of balance and spirituality over "religion" if that makes sense. Depression is high in the church and we're careful to follow doctrine separate from culture and we truly believe that Jesus' example is one of balance and not of "supposed to"s and dogma. Maybe we're hippie Mormons? :P

The Rat Life said...

Imagine after only reading the first 21 words...I knew where you were...But I must demand WHY!.. for I was grateful when I was not part of a Sunday worship when my brother died. This should not be! It's almost like they need you to pray for them....to help them through this time of you mourning your lost.....not right.... (and like being called (kiddingly, but still) "apostate" ) How can you desert professed faith....when you walk in it daily...... ...I don't know ...people just don't get it...I think Jesus Himself must of felt that way alot...when you see how He related to the religious leaders...and some followers... Why can't we get it by now?.... Christlike...oh I think we are far from Christlike in our Sunday gatherings.... shame...but the influenses seem to not go that direction...my hope is in becoming Christlike in my own daily life...then and only then can I take that back to the world...in Sunday gatherings or generally anywhere I am... (Anyway, I'm so glad that I've gotten past caring what others think (it's so amazingly liberating), but it can still be annoying, even in its well-meaningness.) You know we have to get past what others think to survive...and yes it can still be annoying...I have , sometimes in time... take my annoyness to bring me to a greater passion... a passion to grow in those ways that we see in need... for I see a real need to have realness....sometimes as I see those so called Christlike....I instead see quick judgements...lack of love~unconditionally...selfishness...walking in fear....fake caring....and I say this is not Christlike...I want to learn more of how to be...so I can respond to others the way we should be. I may homechurch...but I still come in contact with this issue as well... ...actually when I knew you were going to your gathering on Sunday....I was concern...Hang tight...look passed these actions from others that are less then best and be a stronger person because of it. Be glad you even notice it...for that shows you are apart from it...