Dear Idol

Dear Idol Producers,

You don't like us, do you? Why on earth would you bring back the contestants who have been voted off to sing for us again? They're not on the show anymore because we didn't like them.

And tonight? They sucked.

I like Paul, but he shouldn't sing in groups. Also, could you buy him a new suit?

And Naima needs a sedative. Stat.

Tonight's show could've been 60 minutes long instead of 90. Ditch the stupid group number by people we didn't want to hear anyway and shorten the show.

Yours,
An Idol Viewer

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Scotty - He sang in two octaves and it was weird. I didn't love it and I thought it was boring. If Jimmy things this will make me vote for him, Jimmy is wrong. All the contestants hugged Scotty since he was the first recipient of any criticism all season.

James - He has a nice voice and is a talented guy. He's dramatic and should be doing something along the lines of opera rock like Queen, though I will say he's not as good as Adam Lambert. Steven said that he's "Mad Max meets Storm Troopers at Melrose Place" and that he's moving in a "T. Rex direction." I really don't have anything to add to that.

(Did anyone else hear Ryan say that Randy threw down the "goblet?" Someone needs to go back to school).

Haley - We all know I'm not a Haley fan (nor a fan of any of the girls or Stefano), but I have to say that I loved her duet with Casey this past week. Loved it. And this Adele song tonight was a good song choice for her voice. The blues work for her and, quite honestly, this is the only song that has stayed with me from the whole evening. And I think she looked cute, too.

Jacob - He wore a shiny suit and sang a Luther song and it was very touching. Very, very moving. Randy decided to choose that moment to contradict himself by asking Jacob to "let loose" despite the fact that previously he had asked Jacob to do less of that and instead to "be more controlled" and now he wants him to "let loose" again. Sometimes I think the judges are schizophrenic.

Casey - He sang Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe." I love Maroon 5 and while he did a good job, I don't think it was quite as good as the judges said and I generally prefer his jazz stuff. He should stick with jazz. That being said, I want to give him props for dressing better for his rehearsals, surprising us week after week (if he's not going to stick with jazz, at least he surprises us), and kissing TMBWITW. I love his voice and his guts and love that he flustered Jennifer Lopez. Steven let out a gigantic tirade of swears and I love that he obliviously didn't even notice he did it.

Apparently, the Idol producers thought it would be cute for everyone to dress up as Dwight Schrute's cousin Mose Schrute (thank you, Mark). Oh, and Ryan admitted that he's not a man. He's such a dweeb.

Stefano - He's STILL here? Good god, make it stop! The contestants told us that he's flirty and smarmy and then he got on stage and showed us just how smarmy he is and I felt disgusting. I have never liked guys like that and have always found it extremely unattractive. Just gross. It was terrible, terrible singing and he work a pinky ring. Yuck. Here's a little math lesson for all of us tonight: Frenetic + Leering ≠A Good Combination. This guy is staying way too long.

Lauren - Why did she close the show? When she finishes singing (at any point in the show), I already can't remember what she sounds like. She's not at all unique and every time the judges talk to her, I feel like I'm at work. It's like sitting in on a group therapy session or intervention. Not exactly exciting television.

To sum up, tonight was boring and none of them were all that great.

Going home: Stefano, because he sucks and he's gross.