“Children learn how to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions”--Alfie Kohn
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Insightful Quote
From The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield--there's a great description of a minor character (the doctor's wife) in the book. It goes like this (page 104):
"The doctor's wife wasn't a bad woman. She was sufficiently convinced of her own importance to believe that God actually did watch everything she did and listen to everything she said, and she was too taken up with rooting out the pride she was prone to feeling in her own holiness to notice any other failings she might have had. She was a do-gooder, which means that all the ill she did, she did without realizing it."Copyright
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7 comments:
But what about 18 month year olds? Maybe I am looking into the quote a little too much. :) Good one, though!!
But what about when your six year old refuses to get out of the van and go to school? He doesn't have the choice about going to school or not...so what do I do then??
I hear you. I've had similar questions. Well, if he has no choice, then maybe that's a time he learns about following directions. Following directions isn't a bad thing and it is a skill.
For me, the quote isn't saying that decisions are better than directions, but it reminds me to give my kids as many chances as I can to make decisions so they can learn (rather than dictating everything they do).
What a great quote to think about! Alfie Kohn writes some really interesting stuff...
I like this quote. I use it all the time. "Why are you deciding for him/her?" And it causes people to take a step back and think for a minute.
Interesting. I don't think it's about only letting kids make their own decisions, but giving them as many opportunities as possible. Lately with Emmy we have had to give her lots of choices. For example: "You can listen to Mommy, or you can go to time out. Which one do you choose?" She's getting better and better and choosing at making the better choice. :)
Alfie Kohn really does write a lot of very thought provoking articles on children and parenting.
Excellent point, Jimmy.
Heheh, Jess. :P
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