A Night at Sonic (or, Gaining Weight, the Easy Way)

Do I count as a guest blogger if I'm more than 50% addicted to blogging?

Sonic was nuts tonight! They had guys in the parking lot waving their arms like the guys with the glow sticks on the tarmac so everyone could proceed safely to the drive-thru or stalls. We chose a stall.

So the menu looks great, and the 40-pound 7 year-old girl in the back seat notices the item on the menu big enough that it requires two animals and a small farm to produce it: the Bacon Cheeseburger TOASTER sandwich. Oh, and onion rings. And a lemon-berry limeade.

"You sure that's enough back there?"

"I think so. If not I'll tell you."

Of course, K is the one that immediately scopes out all the options on the table, so I know she'll be begging a bite of everything at some point.

Meanwhile, M's biggest concern is whether or not they put mustard on the Extra-Long Chili Cheese Coney. So the 4 year-old "man," also in the back seat, needs something "extra long" to satisfy his hunger. Oh, and popcorn chicken, "the big one." And Tots. And a Lime Slush.

As Little Miss in the front seat drools over just about everything on the menu, the peanut gallery is in the back chanting.

"Don't forget the onion rings."

"Did you order the popcorn chicken?"

"Don't forget the limeade."

"And the slush . . . the green one."

At this point I'm thinking, Holy crap! This is an event! And then I'm thinking, I'd better write this down. So then I ask, "What did everyone want?" Third base.

Okay, so we start over, me with pen in hand. A huge sandwich frowned on by PETA, something extra-long, lots of fried sides, a couple of fruity drinks. Now, Mommy.

Mommy would blow away in a spring breeze, but she's got her eyes on the "healthy choice," the Grilled Chicken Sandwich, light on the mayo. That'll cancel out the Cheesecake Bites we added to the end of the order.

Finally, my turn to decide. At this point K is drooling so much I hear a leaky faucet from the back seat. M is still chanting, "Did you get my slush?" Little Miss wonders why we haven't pushed that little order button, and I'm wondering why we left our house at 4:45 and still hit a dinner rush. OK, the Sonic Cheeseburger. Classic.

Now, time to order.

This poor girl on the other end of that faceless voice box thought our order would never end. And just when I got to the end of my chicken scratch list, Miss How-the-Hell-Do-You-Eat-Like-This-and-Barely-Register-
Triple-Digits says, "And a Coconut Cream Pie Shake." Cool. Pie you can drink. That way you can skip digestion and proceed directly to fat accumulation. "It's okay. I stress it off," she says.

$30 bucks. Get one of each, so you know what to come back for.

I fully expected to wait for quite a while for a crack team to be assembled in order to fulfill this order, but it was there in no time. On roller blades. Good thing since K almost cried when she saw people delivering food on foot! The carhop did a double take as I'm sure she expected a church bus on a Bible retreat with all the food we ordered, but I assured her that yes, two adults and two children would devour this food, and possibly ask for more. I asked her if people tip the carhops, and she said you can but it's not required. After hauling all the gear up Mt. Everest I'm sure they tip the shirpas, so I tipped her. She was happy. She also left her "Why Beer is Better Than Women" pen behind. It changes reasons when you click it.

"Because at the bar you can always pick up a beer."

Let the fun really begin!

"Over your plate," is the usual battle cry at home when we eat, so you can imagine how well an Extra-Long Chili Cheese Coney went over in the back seat in the hands of a 4 year-old boy. Most of it ended up in his mouth. A little on the neck. Not bad.

K had a bite of everything; most was declared to be "The best ______ I've ever had."

Little Miss spent most of the first few minutes distributing food. And then attacked her sandwich. Big thumbs up.

I bit into my burger and was quite pleased.

Of course we passed everything around to get the full experience and it was all very good. After biting into K's burger the universal opinion was, "Wow!" Even our "bacon, not so mucher" in the front seat loved the burger.

We forgot to ask for sauces for everything so we flagged down someone for that. Then we definitely needed more napkins because we were just that sloppy. Plus, they only gave us 3 cheesecake bites when we ordered 5, and heaven knows my arteries needed the other two. So, I waved someone down again, pulled a Gary by dumping an open barbecue sauce on the ground (sorry Dad--but you have that gift) but only after bouncing it off my leg. I just washed these pants so I was sure that sauce was all over me and the floor. But I am pleased to announce that the packet landed open side up and didn't leave any on me. Score one for the gods of cleanliness. But I digress . . .

So the carhop says she'll get us a fresh order of 5 cheesecake bites. I beg her to just bring the other two, but we all know how this is going to end up. A full order of 5 show up at our window just as K is announcing that she's too full to eat more. The sounds of chewing are slowing, and I'm left with these random thoughts:

* A family of four consumed on this evening enough calories to feed some developing countries for a week. (4500 + 8 cheesecake bites - one onion ring)
* Sonic really is better than other fast food.
* They should add Lipitor as an additive to their shakes, or sprinkle it over the fried stuff.
* We ate the meat from three animals tonight, and it wasn't Turducken.
* It's really cool how you can put your credit card in the little slot where you order.
* How could we eat so much, and yet leave one onion ring in the bag?
* When does the hurt go away?

We really did have a lot of fun and Little Miss is already planning on taking the kids back for the Sonic version of Happy Hour--discounted drinks in the afternoon. On the way home we had to pick up a few things from the grocery store so I figured if I'd park 11 spaces from the door and jog in and out.

That's gotta count for something!