Some Very Grown-up Thoughts

Our 7-year-old and 5-year-old have some pretty grown up thoughts. Here are some recent, thoughtful ones about Vavo.

Me: "I wish Dad could've seen our house, our business."
M: He can!

This past Sunday, K got very emotional . . . which broke down my (apparent) reserve.

K (sobbing): I miss him!
Me (hugging her and sobbing with her as we both fell in the hallway in tears): Me, too.

K: I wish there was no such thing as Parkinson's.

K (to me): If I had a magic wand, there's another thing I would do--bring back Vavo. And your Vavo and Vavo.

K: If Vavo were alive and we were with him, I would rather stay with him forever than come back home.

K: I wish he'd had just one more birthday.

K: I've known him for 7 years. I wish Maxim could know him for more than 4 years.

K: After Vavo died, I was playing checkers with M and I had a feeling like Vavo was helping me play and know how to move my checkers. And I got a lot of Maxim's pieces!
Me: Honey, that is soooooo special. Treasure that.

I'm in such a daze. I miss my Daddy. It doesn't feel real. We're moving forward but sometimes that almost seems wrong even though it also feels right . . . if that makes any sense. I feel a bit depleted--it's a combination of grieving about my Dad and yet making things nice for our family, the kids especially but also my husband and my Mom. Sometimes I hardly recognize how out of it I feel.

I so appreciate all the sweet notes, emails, phone calls, visits, hugs, cards, packages, flowers, etc. from our dear friends. A couple of my clients sent cards and one brought me a beautiful red rose the other day. We so appreciate the thoughtfulness of others--people sort of knowing what to do and simply doing it--seeing a need and jumping in with it. It's such a blessing to recognize when your friends know you well enough to truly anticipate and understand your needs, and not what they just guess your needs might be, even when you're too weak or depleted to voice them or admit them. Thank you, friends, for being in tune and knowing us and blessing us.