And then there were 9 . . .

Well, Ryan did a lot of running around the stage tonight. Did it feel rushed to anyone else?

Were the top 10 performing live on stage or was that pre-recorded? Were they lipsynching? Was that on TV? What? This is very confusing. And now I don't know what a concert show would be like for the Top 10. I'm so confused! This is all very Milli Vanilli for me. (Shut up, I bought their tape and am proud of it. Plus, they're totally cute. "I'm in love with you, girl." Can I download that on Itunes?).

They rushed into that Ford commercial so fast that I was confused--commercial, American Idol, commercial? What? Those tricky, tricky dogs. They so know we TiVo. That's why they've added stupid gimmicks like repeat auditions that you "don't want to miss" in the middle of commercials. It only worked once. If they're not going to bother putting something decent in there to NOT fast forward, I'm not going to bother watching it again.

Oh, but we did catch the preview for Angels and Demons. Yay Robert Langdon!

RUBEN!! Did he lose weight? I think he may have. He used to look "as big as a house." Sort of like a duplex. Now it's more like a single family home. Is it wrong to say that? He's fat! That's a fact. Why is this a taboo subject? In Europe, people would look him in the eye and say, "Dude, you're fat" and it wouldn't be an insult. In America, it's an insult. I don't get it. But I must say, fat, fatter, thin, thinner, sweating like a pig, I think Ruben is absolutely adorable and I can't help but smile when he sings. Plus, he has dimples! I love Ruben. He sounded better tonight than ANY non-Idol guest artist to date. Yes, that means you Randy Travis, Kanye West, Smokey Robinson, and TGSITKU Stevie Wonder (I'm sorry, I don't see what everyone else does with him). Plus I thought he was a miserable, unfriendly guest judge a couple of years ago. Nothing warm about him. And very full of himself. And even hearing that Obama loves him hasn't changed that for me. I can think for myself, after all.

Has anyone else had enough of Ryan asking Lil about Detroit? I have.

I'm a little irritable today. Or could you not tell.

Okay, Smokey Robinson. Why doesn't he blink? He has gorgeous eyes, but I can't figure it out. Does he have Parkinson's? Is that Botox? What's going on there? And when the man (who's got to be around 70) who is a legend that has written over 4000 songs finishes singing . . . Simon, stand up and show a little respect. Geesh. (He did. He just took his sweet time).

We saw Joss once on Punk'd.

Nice duet, but a little creepy. This was made worse when our daughter asked, "Are they married?"

Okay, so let me get this straight. Matt is in the bottom 3. And Megan's not. And Michael is overcompensating and it's getting on my nerves. And that has to be rough for Scott--being totally manhandled all over the stage like that. It all looked a bit rough and cruel. But mostly because Ryan was rushing all over the place. It was all very uncomfortable to watch.

I love the camera shots of contestants and judges when they think they're not being broadcast. Kris is grooving. Anoop is jamming. And Megan is . . . holy hell, the girl has no rhythm! She can't even snap or sway on the beat. It's so so sad. Who is voting for her? Stop the madness.

The judges' deliberation? Yeah, right. Paula's dancing (LOVE her). Kara's playing with her hair. And Simon and Randy are deciding where to eat after the show.

And then to pretend they hadn't decided yet? So stupid. And insulting. Do they really think we're that clueless? They didn't save Alexis. They're not going to save Sarver. It's one thing to toy with us about results that are in the hands of the voting public. But we know a bit about the industry by the 8th season of this show. And we know the judges aren't saving his behind. For this, they run over time. The Office is on, you big, big morons!! Argh.

So, goodbye, Sarver. We hardly knew ye. You are the right one to leave tonight. Except for Megan. She should've preceded you. Like 5 weeks ago. But whatever.