Top 12 Girls

So much about Idol has changed:

Now the fire background moves in swirls. That's so 2010.

We have a judge who is funny on purpose (as opposed to someone who was funny because people made fun of her). And MAN is she giddy or what. She's so excited she can barely contain herself. She's a total fan. It's hilarious.

The judges are back to drinking Coke instead of beer (like they did in Hollywood).

I personally miss Paula and I think it's SO DULL that none of the judges get up and dance now.

And the judges aren't acting like children with inappropriate jokes and innuendo. Oh wait.


And so much about Idol has stayed the same:

Simon uses the word "indulgent" while massaging his pectoral muscles through his gray sweater.

Kara talks chin first.

Randy attempts to articulate things.

And I find myself worrying, the whole time they're singing, that they're going to drop the microphone. Especially when they switch from hand to hand. Or when they shoot their arms out to the side. I can almost visualize the microphone go sailing off into the audience and hitting someone in the head, leaving the singer with no way to amplify his or her voice. On Live TV. What would they do?! How awful would that be? Could they ever get through after that? I know. I have issues that have already been addressed in countless therapy sessions, thank you very much.

But enough about that.

Here is my I'll-try-to-keep-it-brief-but-brevity?-not-my-strong-point recap of the Top 12 Girls which I've also subtitled (See? Not so much with the brevity.), "In Which Every Girl Reminds Me of Someone Else." *My favorites are designated with asterisks.

Paige Miles - "It's All Right Now"
She reminds me of Milli Vanilli (either one of them) because she has their eyes.
Other than that, I already don't remember much. Oh, the curse of going first.

Ashley Rodriguez - "Happy"
She, who looks like Eva Mendes, is not too happy now.
That's because she was stupid enough to do a Leona Lewis song (Never, never, never do a song by one of Simon's own. Never.).
And worse yet, she didn't do it well.
She's one of the two going home on Thursday. I bet she is.
I should gamble on this stuff. Maybe I could make some money.

Janell Wheeler - "What About Love?"
Janell is a Sarah Chalke look-a-like who sang a song that was way bigger than she could handle, but I guess that's okay because Randy has "mad vibes for her."

*Lilly Scott - "Fixing A Hole"
She mostly reminds me of someone you might find in a nursing home, what with the gray hair and long peacock earrings, but DUDE. That was the first great performance of the evening. And I dig that more people are doing The Beatles. And it's way cool that she played guitar. Love this girl's voice. And I learned a new word tonight. Busk. I'm a nerd and already looked it up. Such a cool, new word. Thank you, Kara.

*Katelyn Epperly - "Oh Darlin'"
So, she's the first to remind me of someone, not because of her looks (she is a WAY cute girl, though), but because of her sound. She reminds me of Kelly Clarkson. This girl can sing. AND she can sing on pitch. Which is more than we can say for the first 3 performers of the night. I like this girl. Though I could have done without Kara's cattiness. Kara reminds me of snotty girls in high school. I wouldn't have liked her then either. Unfair of Kara to fill in her word bubble like that. So so uncool.

Haeley Vaughn - "I Wanna Hold Your Hand"
She has Fantasia eyes. This may be my least favorite Beatles song, but I like what she did with it. That is one confident 16-year-old.

Lacey Brown - "Landslide"
Yikes. Pitchy Indeed. She reminds me of pretty much anyone from "Reality Bites." Don't know who exactly. Other than she seems like she could've stepped out from that movie. I'd like to see her again, though. So I hope she doesn't go home on Thursday. Like Ashley will.

Michelle Delamor - "Fallen"
Brave song. She looks like a mix of Gloria Estafan and Jordin Sparks, but she has pretty hair, sang well, and was okay for me for her. Plus, Randy thought she was "hot and dope and cool." So there.

*Didi Benami - "The Way I Am"
Why were the judges so harsh on this girl? I loved her! Her sound reminds me of Megan Joy (but in a good way), but she looks like Brooke White. Either way, the judges seemed unimpressed, but I really like her. Love her sound. Plus, she met her goal and didn't cry! Go Didi!

*Siobhan Magnus - "Wicked Game"
She reminds me of a foreign film actress. Audrey Tatou? Maybe. No, definitely. Just Googled her. She totally looks like her. And Audrey Tatou is beautiful. So, she reminds me of her. And my Turkish girlfriend from high school. I like this girl. Simon thinks she might be the dark horse. I like that she crossed the gender line and sang a song by a man. The Chris Isaak song was good on her, though I do want to hear her rock out next time.

*Crystal Bowersox - "Hand In My Pocket"
LOVE her. This girl is SO Melissa Etheridge. I love her originality, her dreads, her voice! And I love that she rocked the guitar. The harmonica was good, too, but I think that was mostly so they didn't have to censor lyrics. Anyway, this girl is probably my favorite. And I'd love to see her do David Bowie.

Katy Stevens - "Feelin' Good"
I LOVE Michael Bublé. Like LOVE. Me? Bublé? Big fan. Me. Love Bublé. Oh, I'm sorry. This is supposed to be about Katy. She sang a Michael Bublé song (and I heart him). She did well, but I agree with the judges that it wasn't the best song choice. She is a personal favorite for me, not so much from the singing, but because she's my Portuguese homegirl and I'm rooting for her and her vavó. Oh, and she reminds me of Jenny Gessel. Don't look it up. She's a personal friend, not a famous one. I'd like to see more of Katy. I don't think tonight showcases her well.

My Top Favorites: Lilly (nursing home), Katelyn (Kelly Clarkson), Didi (Brooke White and Megan Joy), Shioban (Audrey Tatou), and Crystal (Melissa Etheridge). And Katy's Vavó.

Going Home: My bet's on Ashley. And one of the others.