Quaker Meeting

At D'Arcy's and Terah's request and inspired by Terah, I'm going to post more about our experience attending Quaker Meeting.

Let me back up and explain a bit. We homeschool. We use a curriculum (classical education) but we also sort of "unschool," which means we have no problem dropping whatever we're doing and following our kids' interests and excitement for learning, following a sort of "natural learning" principle. The basic idea stems from looking at how we learn before formal schooling begins and how we learn after we graduate said formal schooling--we simply read about things, look things up, take a class, talk to people, study things, because we want to. So that's the gist.

Well, when we learn about stuff, we like to supplement with museum trips and research and whatever floats our boat really. We study Egypt, we go to the Museum of Anthropology and Archaeology in Philly. We study bugs, we go outside. We study American History, we visit Boston, Philly, D.C. You get the idea. So, as we've been studying various religions, it's occurred to us, "Why not visit these religious services instead of just reading about them in a book?" So we do. We've recently started doing this and places on our list include a Muslim mosque, Catholic mass, a Jewish synagogue, an Amish Meeting, Greek Orthodox, etc. We are excited!

We also believe very strongly in having respect for all and in always learning. The second you think you know everything about anything, you cut yourself off from further learning. And the second you think you're better than someone else, you've crossed the line from confidence (okay) to arrogance (not okay). So, as part of having respect, we figure actually attending instead of just reading, and looking for the good in others, we can foster that kind of deep respect and love toward others. And instead of picking apart differences, we can embrace those things, both similar and different from our own, with love and respect and openness. (I guess it's a pet peeve of mine when someone always feels they need to jump in and state their own beliefs and how they differ or how much luckier they are to know more than someone else or whatever. It strikes me as insecure, I guess). I love learning about others' beliefs in such a hands-on way. It helps you develop respect for others as well as an appreciation for your own beliefs, too. Obviously when I was a kid, my parents weren't scared of exposing us to what's out there (Catholic mass, Born Again Christian School) and I've always been grateful for that.

So, anyway, we've started by attending our friends' Quaker Meeting. I am VERY intrigued by Quakers as well as their belief system, their form of worship, and how they "practice" their religion. See, it's tricky to describe any of that because I don't think they'd even use the words "belief system," "practice," or "religion." I'll talk about it in points for ease of reading and relate it to what we've seen so far as we've visited with them.

1. Quakers call one another "Friends."

I think that's very cool. They refer to themselves and one another as "Friends" and use first names to address one another. They even wear name tags at church (as do visitors). It was pretty cool to have people walk right up to me, say my name, and launch into conversation. It saves all that "What's your name?" stuff and makes it a whole lot quicker to learn everyone's name.

2. Quakers meet in silent worship.

Quakers call their worship service quite simply "meeting." They sit in silence in a room together. It is very peaceful, very meditative, very interesting. You simply walk in, sit down, and sit quietly. And then, as people feel so moved, they may or may not stand and share something (sort of like Fast and Testimony meeting except there are absolutely no rules or expectations on what is or isn't said other than total respect for one another).

3. Quakers don't have dogmatic beliefs.

Quakers don't have a set of "doctrine" or beliefs that is taught them or told them. They don't have a pastor or ecclesiastical leader. They seek within to find truth. Which I think is pretty cool. No matter what religion one is, how neat is it to feel so in tune as to know how to follow your heart and mind and know truth so intrinsically and in such a centered way what truth is for oneself? It's agency in its highest form. I feel very strongly about the principle of agency and how important it is. Anyway, I think Quakerism is one of the most "Eastern" Western religions about which I've learned. Very Zen.

4. Quakers have an interesting meeting format.

In addition to what I've already said about Quaker meeting (silent worship, etc.), there's more. After meeting, someone (this is sort of like a clerical position so to speak) stands and thanks everyone and asks if anyone has any "Joys or Concerns." Basically anyone can share anything they'd like with the group--something they're excited about, something they're concerned about, they can request prayers on their behalf, etc. I heard one woman share excitedly that her grandson had graduated high school. And I heard one man express nervousness about his upcoming surgery--he requested that the friends "hold him in the light" (pray for him--though I love that expression, it's so beautiful). I like the format of sharing like that. Instead of just some people hearing something through a visit with someone or hearing through the grapevine, you're more aware of what's going on with others. Pretty neat.

When I was a kid in Born Again Christian School (I went out of convenience to my parents, not because of religion--it was a private school and I was the only (often picked on) Mormon kid). Interesting times. Anyway, every school day started with prayers. One thing they did that I thought was kind of cool (though very different to me) was "conversational prayer." Basically, someone started the prayer but didn't finish it. Everyone bowed their heads respectfully and people could chime in as they felt they'd like to sharing whatever they'd like in prayer to God. It was sort of a communal effort and not one person speaking for all. Sometimes that would last for 20 minutes or more as different people shared different things. It was an interesting and more personal way to know what was going on with everyone. I kind of liked it. I guess the "Joys and Concerns" portion of the meeting reminded me of that.

After the "Joys and Concerns," people shared announcements. Basically, anyone could share anything. The Quaker "organization" is made up of councils/committees. Sort of like the newer enrichment groups (which I much prefer to the old way). So if someone would like to start a committee about reading or literacy, they could do so. If someone wants to start a Humanitarian Aid group to help victims of the earthquake in Beijing, they can. And anyone can join whichever committee they feel passionate about. So instead of callings, they follow their heart (in keeping with their "seeking inward to know truth" principle) to decide in which group to participate. They learn from one another as they do so.

I heard one person share an announcement that said that there were fliers in the back of the room for anyone who wanted to contact their senators about an initiative to try peaceful methods with Iran before bombing and war. Now that was cool. See, Quakers are peace loving. If I understand it correctly, they can't even be drafted--they can refuse based on religious beliefs. But what they do instead is set up service projects in the U.S. (like psychiatric hospitals for vets, etc.). Pretty neat. I'm not one for war and violence myself, so I think that's really neat. And being so used to religion being very separate from politics, it was interesting to hear it discussed so openly among everyone, all in the name of peace.

Oh, and after all of that (Joys and Concerns, announcements, etc.), they have a light refreshment and social time. Everyone eats and socializes with one another. Oh and someone sits in a corner under a big "Q" (for Quakers? Questions? I'm not sure) and you can ask them questions afterward. We would've done that, but our friends helped us out (for well over an hour) with our questions.

Oh, for those who are wondering, they also have a children's meeting. Our kids love it. They don't separate by age which our kids like. They got to interview a woman who's a counselor and Tai Chi instructor and they learned some Tai Chi, too.

5. Quakers have principles they follow.

Some of the main principles are simple living (lack of clutter both physically and emotionally), peaceful living, and respect for diversity. They call one another friends and seek deeply to know truth for themselves. They definitely practice mindfulness in all they do--they live fully present rather than focusing on the future only. They believe in the Kingdom of God being here and now as well as a future thing so it affects their day-to-day in a very present way.

6. There aren't many Quakers

300,000 maybe? They don't really proselytize as far as I know. I mean, we showed up to meeting (what they call their, well, meeting) because we wanted to. Though I've spoken mainly about unprogrammed meetings (no set agenda or leader), apparently there are some Quaker sects that do have a more programmed structure similar to Protestant Sunday Worship. Apparently there are a lot in Kenya. We have several Quaker friends here and they all meet in unprogrammed meetings. Since Quakers are native to Philadelphia (William Penn, Pennsylvania, etc.), I suppose that's the more original way? Everyone was very friendly to us but no one was pushy at all--they're so respectful of everyone's individual spiritual path (even among themselves) that no one really seems to judge or criticize another. It is a very warm and open approach.

I can't think of what else to type so if anyone has any questions, just ask!

I can't tell you enough how THRILLING it was to attend and learn like this. We've read about them in books an online but attending was a really hands-on experience that helped us better understand and appreciate. I highly recommend it to anyone who's curious to learn more.

Up next, Catholic Mass! (We don't do this every week--we do this every so often as we do attend our own religious meetings as well). And our friends would like to attend one of our services with us as well. I bet that'll be interesting, given what they're used to for themselves (VERY programmed and organized versus unprogrammed, etc.).

I'm excited to attend a Catholic Mass! I haven't been to one since I was a kid (not counting the ones on TV). Most of my extended family is Catholic and my parents were Catholic before converting to the LDS church. I was even christened as a baby (and "saved" in my Christian Elementary School and baptized LDS--I figure I'm covered) . . .