Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Am I Really That Old? (Idol Style)

When one of the contestants on American Idol was born just months before I graduated high school, I start to realize that I've put in enough time to earn the grays I'm sporting. These birth year theme nights are really cool because they are broad enough to sample a lot of different sounds, but yet narrow enough that the contestants don't (necessarily) make such rotten choices. As we've seen, some contestants still find a way to make poor selections, but they just can't help themselves. Some people can't dress themselves. Some people don't know what song to pick. It's just how it is sometimes.

I'm glad the judges just appeared magically in their seats rather than walking through the ridiculously slow sliding stage doors. It's like when you try to rush through the automatic doors at the grocery store and they don't quite open fast enough and you're left with a dented milk jug and sore forehead. Never happened to any of you? Yeah, me neither. I thought they were trying to conserve time but we see that wasn't the case. Stacy was talking tonight about how cute she thinks Paula is, and how sometimes what she says is so flowery and 'round about, and I had the thought that she is like a Portuguese greeting card.

Non-sequitor thoughts begin, here--> To illustrate, when my Portuguese mother-in-law goes on a trip, all of her sisters and brother and nieces and nephews and neighbors and Portuguese grocers call to wish her a good trip and much happiness and much love and big kisses to all of her family and safety and the grace and protection of the Lord and . . . and . . . Add in a Happy Birthday and you've got Hallmark, the Lisbon version.

OK, on to the recap . . .

Danny: I loved the arrangement and interpretation of the song this week. I'm starting to feel a little sorry for Danny, though, only because he's a great singer who actually has some originality and understands who he is, but I'm afraid he might get lost in the shuffle with the laud and praise some other contestants are getting each week. I hope once there are less contestants (and when the first performance slot isn't the predetermined "spot to forget") Danny will continue to wow us.

Kris: Simon was a bit harsh and indulgent in his own critique, but Kris was definitely off his game tonight. He needs to find a way to bring it again next week. And how about his family doggin' on the taxi drivers of the world. Good thing this show isn't taped in NYC or he'd be hoofin' it all over town. "Sorry. Off duty."

Lil: The best part of the performance for me was finding out that "Lil" is her actual, given name. Very cool. When they announced she'd be singing a Tina Turner song I thought to myself, "Oh, OK. Another diva." I just don't think Lil knows how to make a song original. She's a great singer who does a nice impression of some other great singers, but week in and week out she makes the same plea and promise to America. I just need to see Lil the Artist, not Lil the singer.

Anoop: Simon's yo-yo analogy was a decent one. He really does change from week to week. I agree that this was a better week for him--perfect song and perfect interpretation. I could completely hear Anoop in this one this week. Anoop dog is in the house tonight! (As an aside, I loved how Simon told Anoop to not worry about--to borrow a Wally Cleaver-ism--giving the judges "the business.")

Scott: I've gotta give him props for stepping out from behind the piano, but I wasn't a huge fan of the performance. The guitar wasn't impressive enough to be worth the change. I like Scott, and I would love to keep hearing more from him. I think sticking to the piano is the best bet for him and gives him the greatest chance of continuing on for a few more weeks.

Allison: Where did this girl come from. And was she really singing a song from her birth year that I heard at my senior prom? Ouch! I'm getting old! I loved this song choice, too, because it was restrained and controlled, but yet showed the rocker side that we've come to expect and love. She keeps singing like this and she'll be sailing through to the finals. I love her mother's comments about talking too much. Classic!

Matt: I was a bit worried when Matt chose a song by The Greatest Singer in the Known Universe (per Randy), but he worked it out! This was the right style for him, especially when he infused his own jazzy, soulful side to the song. He needed this performance tonight. I think it may have been the hat.

Adam: This guy is in a league all his own. He is not my favorite singer as far as his natural genre, but I've got to admit he is the most original and talented of the group this year. He has a knack for taking songs and making us feel like we're hearing them for the first time. Too bad most of America missed his performance on their DVRs.

So, realizing that so many of the contestants are really good this year, here is MY BOTTOM THREE: Lil, Scott, Anoop (simply a prediction, not preference)

P.S. Did you catch each of the "Judge-isms" in the contestants' recaps?


Boquinha said...

Awesome. It's like "Where's Waldo" for blogs. I totally went back through and found every "Judgeism." I'm such a nerd.

Boquinha said...

Oh and by the way, you had me rolling with the Portuguese greeting card comment!

J Fo said...

Mark, I really think that you're judgeisms are getting to be indulgent rubbish, dawg. ;) I, too, have 'never' gone a little too quick for those stupid automatic doors. And I love how Stacy is getting all protective of Paula. I'm kind of feeling like this week might be the shocker where we loose one of the great ones like Danny or Allison and not Lil or Scott. I'm a little nervous. But maybe they'll work it out.

Boquinha said...

Yikes, Jessica, if you're right about that, maybe the judges will use their save?

Shawn said...

Okay, so I'm beginning to think the judges are broken records (yes, they had those in my birth year, but not for much longer). Watch. I'll be Randy:
So look dawg. It's like this. You look really great tonight, i mean, that outfit is the bomb, but listen up. We all know you've got mad vocals, it's just, the song, dawg, I think this song just isn't for you.

Here's Kara:
I've got two words for you: Best performance of the night.

Here's Paula:
Hey sweetheart. You are so beautiful. There are two types of singers in this world: Adam and everybody else.

Finally, Simon:
Aweful. I mean the vocals weren't that good and you came off like a bad karyoke imitation of Tina Turner (which is true). Your song choice was totally self indulgent and the arrangement was rather obnoxious.

Ah, when the writing is this clearly on the wall, (adam is going to win. Alyson will be the runner up), we have to resort to parodies of the judges.

Don't get me wrong (insert obligatory dawg), Matt and Danny were great last night. Kris was horrible. Did he learn nothing from Matt's catastrophy from the week before? Li'l is better suited for impersonating as she seems to have no personality of her own. Anoop did okay but he struggles with anything other than ballads and Bobby Brown songs, and those two just don't mix!

Then there's Scott. We all like Scott. I'm glad Ryan didn't drag him all over the stage like he has in weeks past and that his costumers are done playing practical jokes. But let's face it: he's not going to win.