Idol Top 7

My opinions tonight may surprise you. But I must start out by perhaps stating the obvious. How is it that 5 adults, several producers, and an entire crew can't rein it in to keep their show in the 1-hour time limit? And honestly, it's their eighth year, the judges should have clued in by now.

Here it is all nice and simple like: STOP TALKING SO MUCH. They go on and on and on and on and on with the first few Idols (and with each other) and then rush through the final 2 as if they're running out of air.

So what happens next? I can only assume that Fringe viewers wrote letters of protest that their show was cut off by Idol. Fox caught grief and passed it on to the Idol producers who then sufficiently scared Ryan into keeping it moving and the judges into quieting 2 of their team per performance, but who apparently didn't get the memo to Lil who felt the need, agaaaaaaain, to argue back to the judges trying to justify why her songs still suck.

And they still went over!! You know what would've saved some time? If they'd STOP TALKING SO MUCH. Why must we sit through such ridiculous numbers of hyperbolic adjectives to describe each judge? We see them twice weekly on every show of every year. Randy, Kara, Paula, Simon. We get it. Hell, the 7 Idols we hardly know barely get a cursory walk on stage with maybe enough time to smile or wave. Take note, Ryan. STOP TALKING SO MUCH.

First off, Kara? Provocative? How exactly? Do you even know what that means? And did we need to spend so much time on Paula's bejeweled ensemble? Or Randy's yellow stripe? Vibrant? Congenial? Are you kidding me?! I don't think you even know what those words mean.

iTunes, Coke, AmericanIdol.com . . . we get it already. And, newsflash, we TiVo these shows. So besides skipping the commercials, we fast forward all the in-show commercial advertising, too. Except the blatant, giant red cups. We just ignore those while the judges don't STOP TALKING SO MUCH. My word, even their explanation of why only 2 of them can talk this week instead of 4 took far too long.

So tonight we got to sit through all of that PLUS the insufferable Quentin Tarantino. Didn't like him when he was on the show before. I was only marginally more impressed this time. Either way, I still don't get why he ever even has a role in this setting. He has no place judging or coaching musical contestants. He's a movie director! Now, maybe if he'd been directing tonight's show instead of "coaching" the contestants, they wouldn't have run over. Who knows. It's just insane that they presented a several minute bio about this guy when they don't have time!! Argh. He's so . . . weird! He's like kinda shifty-eyed psycho, kinda over-the-top manic, and kinda Marty McFly in a bowling shirt all at the same time. Not sure how he pulls that off, but it's odd and a little uncomfortable.

So, songs of the cinema. Or cheese, cheese, and more cheese. Here we go.

Allison Iraheta (Don't Want To Miss A Thing):

Quentin's sage advice: Sing it while I sit in a chair.

This theme week is just not complete unless someone sings this most-overplayed Idol song. This song was too low for her. But despite that this was not at all her best week (and I liked the song even less than I thought I would on her), she finally got the praise she deserved. Let's just hope her number one position tonight doesn't hurt her in the voting. Tonight's song notwithstanding, her performances until now should propel her forward. I have no idea why this girl has even ever set foot in the bottom 3. She is the best girl they have and has been all along. And Simon finally said it tonight. Girls' only hope indeed. Rock on.

Anoop Dawg (Everything I Do, I Do It For You):

Quentin's invaluable advice: Rough it up. (What the . . . ??)

Dude, that was AWESOME. I loved it. Wanna know how much I don't like this song? My first boyfriend held my hand for the first time during this movie and I still don't like this song. And I've grown so very tired of this song over the years that I always switch the station when it comes on the radio. And despite all that, I loved this song on Anoop tonight, Dawg. That was hot! I like it better than the original! By a mile. If this performance were on the radio, I wouldn't switch it like I would the original. It was in key, sung well, and performed well. I really liked it. Not sure it'll save him from the bottom 3, but I'm digging the rumpled up, math geek, Indian, frat boy singer.

Adam Lambert (Born To Be Wild):

Quentin's wise advice: None really. He likes Adam, "only got a taste," and he liked it. (Funny coincidence--I just read a comment on YouTube today where someone wondered what Adam tastes like. What an odd question. I don't know. Pop rocks?). Methinks Mr.Tarantino was a little starstruck with Adam.

If anyone can pull off any song, it's Adam. He was, yet again, freaking amazing. This was not at all my favorite performance by him, but that's mostly because I don't like this song either. Yes, that's 3 for 3 for those keeping score at home (actually, I like the Aerosmith song; it's just so very overdone on Idol). That said, I've got nothing but praise for Adam. I LOVE this guy and think he is one of the hottest, most likable, most talented Idols they've ever had. Ever. Perhaps Paula said it best yet again when she explained that Adam "dares to dance in the path of greatness and fortune smiles on him" or something like that. I like the Monkees wool cap he wears when he meets with the guest mentors. Nice. And his falsetto is insane. INSANE! This guy is supernatural. There is no other explanation for that kind of freaking raw talent.

Matt Giraud (Have You Ever Loved A Woman):

Quentin's shrewd advice: Don't lose the lyrics.

After what Daughtry did with this song, no one should ever touch it again. Including Bryan Adams himself. Because, yes, it's another overdone, overplayed song. And another one I don't really like. But you know what? Matt was awesome tonight (except for that one little part in the bridge where he hit that really wonky note). I loved it! I love his look, his easy manner, his madskillz on the piano, his voice, his arrangement, his touch of soul on songs like this . . . I think it was great. He went into his false when I didn't expect it and I liked it. I'm totally worried for him. If we have another pre-Lil casualty, I might just scream. And it wasn't nearly as bad as the 2 judges said it was. Ugh.

Danny Gokey (Endless Love):

Quentin's prudent wisdom: Put your hands in your pockets. Honestly, I don't know how the Idols would've ever pulled off this week without him.

Urgh. Yes, you guessed it. Not this song! This song is normally a duet. Rickey Smith did this song in Season 2 and it was HOT! Watch:



He did BOTH parts. Danny did a good job with this song, but it wasn't great. It was good. It was copycat (but with a harp). He looks so much like my cousin Little Johnny that it distracts me, especially this week without his funky glasses. But I digress. I don't know. It was just . . . okay. Heartfelt, good, well done, yes. But just okay. And yet again, he didn't follow the mentor's advice. His hands weren't in his pockets. I saw them.

Kris Allen (Falling Slowly):

Quentin's inspiring counsel: Have you thought about playing an instrument? Think about it, but it doesn't matter either way. Aren't you glad I'm here?

Dude, this was DA BOMB TONIGHT!! I loved this performance. WOW! I actually liked it even better than Adam's! I'm telling you, this song during the right love scene in the right movie would MELT me. Day-um! DAY-UM! I really loved this! What a gorgeous song!! Fabulous. Beautiful. Wonderful. I loved it. Kris is utterly adorable and has such a great look and manner. I really, really like this song. It's hauntingly, deeply gorgeous. It started out well and got better throughout and it was raw and it was pure and it was GOOD. Randy was wrong. Kara was SPOT ON! He DID have moments in there. She felt it. I felt it. It was AWESOME.

Lil Rounds (The Rose):

Quentin's most inspiring advice: Commit to singing it straight so that when you switch to gospel, it really soars (this was actually the best advice of the night, even if Lil Diva ignored it completely).

Argh. Does it matter anymore? You know why they had her sing last and had Simon critique her? So we can finally be rid of her. It'll stick in people's memories more to NOT vote for her. I actually like this performance on her more than any of her previous ones and at least she didn't do Whitney or Celine (we had predicted The Bodyguard for sure), but it's too little too late. And she's just not as original as so many of the others this season. She has already overstayed her welcome. I would've preferred a little more Lite FM singing from Scott to this drivel. I'm done with Lil. But of course you already knew that since I was done with her like 7 weeks ago. It's so passe already. What did Paula say to her? The road is long? What? Simon was right. And her back talk is intolerable. And she must be frustrated after weeks and weeks of not getting what they're saying, I'm sure. But she's not getting it and it's time to be done.

And still . . . 3 minutes over.

Fringe fans are renewedly mad. Can't say that I blame them. Now that Simon can't blame the girls, who will he blame? Maybe Mr. Tarantino has some suggestions? Sit in a chair, put your hands in your pockets, and don't lose the lyrics.

Heaven help us tomorrow when we have to suffer through a Miley Cyrus performance. Have I mentioned we have TiVo?

Best to worst tonight:

Kris
Adam
Anoop
Danny
Allison
Matt
Lil

Boquinha out.