Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Idol does Donna Summer, I mean Disco

Oh when oh when is big band night?? So, Disco. Can't complain, thankfully. Except for a couple of things. I will complain about some things. Let's begin.

I must say, I was particularly clairvoyant tonight, predicting what Simon would say before he said it. And being spot on every time. Uncanny.

Dramatic opening (again, so much better than the old recaps they used to do), "THIS is American Idol," Ryan runs down the stairs, hurries through his cue cards lickety-split, introduces the judges as fast as he can (someone either read my blog or recognized on her own how stupid and tedious the stage entrance was for the judges), quick get the idols on stage, no mentors, no intro videos, hi, bye, everyone leave but Lil and GO! Pant, pant, pant . . . obviously Fringe viewers were ticked. Two weeks of going over. Clearly that ain't happening again this week, Idol Powers That Be. Nuh-uh.

Too bad we couldn't move that fast through the first performance.

Lil Rounds - ("I'm Every Woman" by Chaka Khan) She couldn't have chosen a more predictable diva choice. My clairvoyance began when I noted a couple of notes in that Lil was sick. Not that that excuses her bad singing on any other weeks. Or this one for that matter. And she's right, you know. That wasn't Karaoke. That was Karaoke on steroids at Disneyland. Except that it was bad Karaoke on steroids at Disneyland. Hell, she even looked like Donna Summer. Holy crap, it was bad. So so bad. So very, very bad. And she had to overtalk again. UGH. Why, oh, why did Ryan have to ask what her inner goddess was saying. We all want her inner goddess to shut up when on stage. Did she look ticked or what. Man, she was boring holes into the judges. They were spot on tonight--she has no idea who she is as an artist. But she had fun. Whoopee. The only positive thing I can say is that I don't like pantsuits and yet she looked nice. Yep, that's all I've got. She is the antithesis of original and her time is so far past up it's like watching a child who won't go to bed when it's bedtime. Done. Done, done, done. Two eliminations tomorrow? They should both be for her. For emphasis.

Kris - ("She Works Hard for the Money" by Donna Summer) Um, this guy is nothing short of brilliant. And cute brilliant at that. I loved it. LOVED it. For a second week in a row, I seriously preferred his performance to Adam's! Gasp. We suffered through an uncomfortable introductory interview by Ryan where we learned that Kris chose this song because a woman worked hard to make money. Riveting. How much does Ryan get paid to ask questions? Ryan's losing his edge as far as I'm concerned. I think it's in his closet somewhere. I think if he'd just step out and be authentic, it would be less uncomfortable because maybe he'd be less awkward. So, Kris. WOW! Brilliant performance. Fabulous arrangement. LOVED it. Loved it. Randy so totally went over the top in his compliments. You know why? Because he BLEW it last week. Idiot. Kris is fantastic. I don't care where he shops. Brilliant!

Did you notice all the extra Fringe commercials tonight, too? We saw several (as we zoomed through them on our TiVo). I think that was a big "Take that!" to the Idol producers.

And you know else is so uncomfortable to watch? Those stupid shots of the idols that are about to sing. You know, the ones where they're acting out goofy stuff to fill the time during the AI pre-commercial theme music like "Oh, I can't see very well" and what's that? Allison is wearing Danny's glasses? Oh! Hahahaha. Yeah, not funny. Just smile and wave.

Danny - ("September" by Earth, Wind, and Fire) The guy can sing, but my clairvoyance shined through again when I predicted that Simon would say it wasn't a great performance. Have you seen Earth, Wind, and Fire? The singer in that group is INSANE on stage. Danny looked like he was simply meandering around while singing the crud out of that sung (boy can sing). I don't have much to say on this other than that--good vocals, boring performance. Sing with the back up singers, stroll around the stage, sing with the back up singers, yadda yadda. Loved the shot of Danny's sisters, though. There were like a million of them. Reminded me of Joey Tribbiani. Paula yells out that she'll see him in the finals. I'm not sure what finals she's attending, but the rest of us will be enjoying Adam vs. Kris, methinks.

Anyone else notice the odd blond girl behind Simon that kept cheering during his criticisms? Very strange.

Allison - ("Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer) Again I ask, what was she wearing?? She was rather provocative tonight for a 16 year old. It was a bit odd to hear her rocking out about wanting some hot stuff and hot lovin' while dancing seductively on the stage. I'm guessing her mother has no idea what that means based on her sweet "where's my translator" smile from the audience. She's so cute. Gotta get me a mini one of those for my pocket. Allison is the only girl worth anything in this competition and always has been. Not my favorite performance for me for her, but still very good. She definitely needs to be the last girl standing in this.

Adam Lambert - ("If I Can't Have You" by the Bee Gees) His voice is beautiful, gorgeous, soothing, inspiring, pitch perfect . . . I love the tone of his voice. It was a great performance again, but of course he doesn't deliver anything less than amazing time and time again, so that wasn't surprising. I kind of wish he'd done something up tempo, truth be told. I don't want the unexpected, slowed-down fast songs to lose their ability to wow us and I fear they could if overused. That being said, he's still brilliant. And the tone of his voice combined with the passion he exudes pierces to the core. And his false, as always, is gorgeous. Love him. Paula was melting into a "pool of Abdul." I knew Simon would love it but not be jumping out of his seat over it. My foreknowledge strikes again. Paula, yet again, predicted that he'd be in the finals (well, duh). She has now predicted that 3 people will be in the finals. I don't think she's clairvoyant.

Matt Giraud - ("Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees) He looks so much like Justin Timberlake that it's almost distracting. I loved the funky vibe on this song and Matt's got some nice Timberlake-like moves, too. I liked it. Love his voice. He'd be even better in a studio, but dude has rhythm, style, and a serious mojo when it comes to music. And he has a falsetto that is out of this world. And artistry? The word of the season? Yeah, that. He has artistry.

Bowling, shopping, "Pauler" is on one tonight. Her plays on words are so fun. I'm going to put her in my pocket, too. And did some dope in the audience audibly cheer when Simon dissed the performance? Not very bright.

Camera cuts to Anoop doing a little "oh, I didn't shave!" routine. Ugh. Smile and wave. That's it. Ryan drinks out of Kara's glass. Honestly, grown up Hollywood types often remind me of everything I didn't like about high school. Blech.

Anoop - ("Dim All the Lights" by Donna Summer) Our resident frat boy. I like how he had some facial scruff to go along with the untucked shirt, making him look like he's late for math class this time. Man, he's really mixing it up. It was good, but why was that the last performance of the evening? They usually save the wow factor for the end and that was more like a slight snooze fest. I mean, dim the lights? Yikes.

And now a word about the save. STUPID save. So stupid. I've NEVER liked the idea. And I still don't. It's a STUPID ratings ploy. And it's stupid. When they introduced it, they did it all Idol-dramatic like talking about early exits like, GASP, Chris Daughtry and Tamyra Gray. Have I mentioned the word stupid? Because those were STUPID examples. Chris was in 4th place and so was Tamyra, so the stupid save wouldn't have done jack squat to save them. You hear me? Jack. Squat. The save can only be used up until the top 5. So it's really not a save at all, but more of a twofer. Two people get kicked off in one week instead of one at a time. So STUPID. So, you don't get the scare of the bottom 3. You know, those weeks where a favorite is inexplicably at risk of getting booted and people panic and vote like mad the next week to make sure that doesn't happen again? Yeah, can't do that this week. They're there. They're gone. STUPID. Stupid save.

Want more clairvoyance? That stupid save is going to do more harm than good. Someone who shouldn't be going home just might all because of that stupid save. Grrrrr.

Best to worst tonight:

Lil (for emphasis)

Who should go home: Lil, twice over. Okay, Lil and either Matt or Anoop.
Who will go home because of the stupid save: Lil and someone who shouldn't (like pretty much anyone other than Matt or Anoop, though I could handle Allison or Danny as long as one of them accompanies Lil, because let's face it--the finale should be Adam versus Kris where it comes down to what style you prefer. Or I like them both, so who cares as long as they both do well). Stupid save.


Dr. Mark said...

So, how do you really feel about the save? And how many pockets do you have? There isn't going to be much room in there when you're done!

Jimmy said...

This is good writing. I mean really good. I hate to say it. But I have to. Your writing--it has "artistry."

April (Thorup) Oaks said...

I was a bit bored last night and fast forwareded quite a bit. I loved watching Matt do so well last night. I think he is so cool.

bythelbs said...

You're my favorite AI recapper. The doc's not bad either.

kristenhcubed said...

LMBO, again! Two eliminations and they should both be for Lil!?! That's genius talking. Pure genius. Couldn't agree more.

So, what do you think of the save thing, huh?

J Fo said...

HA! You're so articulate! I LOVE LOVE LOVE the idea of a Kris v. Adam final...and Kris winning! I've got a thing for underdogs.

Boquinha said...

Wow, thanks, guys! I don't know what I'm happier about--these comments or Lil getting booted!