Wednesday, March 17, 2010

And then there were 11

We start with a big, dramatic montage with lots of over-the-top sound bytes and music.

Ryan walks through the audience kind of talking to us, kind of talking to them. It was very Wayne Newton awful.

Kieran (didn't I fire him?) made the lights green and played a jig.

We learned that they're keeping the judges' save (hereafter referred to as "Stupid Idea"). I think they should ditch the old Stupid Idea and find a way to bring back Katelyn, Alex, and Lilly. We're BORED otherwise. And it really lessens the amount of "moh-ments" and "connections." Bleh.

David Cook! I love David Cook. Nice guy, great voice. One of my favorite winners ever.

Ford Commercial. Yay.

First one to the stools of doom - Paige (no big shocker there).

Second one to the stools of doom - Tim (another no brainer).

The whole time we're watching, our daughter (who reads our blog) keeps asking, "Are you going to fire the people who do the cheesy stuff?"


And then later, "Are you going to fire the guy who came up with the car design?"


"Are you going to fire the one who came up with the judges' save?"


In fact, yes. Dude, you're fired. Behold my power!

Ryan goes back to telling people they're safe. Crystal's safe, but keeps alluding to family being on her mind. From articles I've read, I think she's missing her son. I also did a little research and found out where and when her family reunion is going to be. Wanna attend? Check it out here. You can even look up past reunions in Germany and Gettysburg, PA. Cool stuff.

Mark makes the observation that Big Mike reminds him of the "What Up With That?" guy from SNL. Great. And thanks a lot, Lbs. I'll have you know that ever since you introduced us to that on your blog, Mark now periodically breaks into a slow, steady gospel-singing crescendo peaking with some "What Up With That" singing and dancing during our dinner conversations. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to talk when someone starts singing half your sentences like a big southern woman in a choir robe? No? You're invited to dinner tomorrow night.

And what's with Mike's speech about "The People (hereafter referred to simply as TP)?" He performs for TP? His relationship with TP? His relationship with TP is singular? What does that even mean?? I fear Big Mike is getting too big for his big breeches (if that's possible).

Lacey with a giant flower in her hair and Casey are left standing. Someone yells support from the audience, but due to the unfortunate rhyming of their names, we're not sure if it's for Casey or Lacey. Somebody loves one of them.

They announce that Lacey is not safe and bring the other 2 to center stage. Anyone else notice that the 3rd stool doesn't ever even get used? Stool setter upper? You're fired.

As Paige and Tim walk across the stage, the screen reads "Casey's Family" and then "Lacey's Family." Sadly, neither is correct. Subtitle guy? Fired.

They have some guest artists I've never heard of but whose performances compelled our to daughter to label as "weird, not to mention horrible."

One was a Lady Gaga wannabe singing the erudite lyrics, "Blah, Blah, Blah" with giant, dancing televisions. Her singing was abysmal but she jumped around a lot. She was assisted by 2 very crappy rappers. And she was dressed as a fish. Oh no, wait. She's a tribal warrior! Our son enjoys the TVs more than the singer. I enjoy none of it and simply had a look of "What the ??" on my face while watching the "performance."

Even Ryan didn't want to go near her. He yells out his thanks from across the stage. I think he's a little scared of her.

And we say goodbye to Lacey. Goodbye.


Dr. Mark said...

I think at least one of your firings worked. I didn't see an Up with People-esque group number tonight. Soon you'll have your own show: "The American Idol Blogger Apprentice."

Loving the "What's Up with That?" reference. Didn't do that today. Maybe I will tomorrow.

And Mike's breeches? Just a little bigger and two of me could fit in there!

bythelbs said...

So wishing I was at your dinner table right now!

You're welcome!!!

Jimmy said...

"Weird, not to mention horrible" pretty much sums it up.

I'm looking for opportunities to use that line in other aspects of my life.

Vivian said...

Au contrare. There is a purpose for that third stool: it allows Ryan to sit and try to engage the 2 in their fear and misery. Technically, RYAN is sitting in the third stool and he received NO votes--shouldn't he be the one to go home? And what's with Ryan and Simon airing their discomfort with personnal space? They should work that out off camera. Very uncomfortable for me.

Jimmy said...

Vivian--you're getting good at this. Good point about the third chair.

Simon started it.

April (Thorup) Oaks said...

Haha. I was thinking about the people you had fired as I watched.

J Fo said...

Haha! I wish you could see Greg's 'What up with that' dance. It's very similar to the James Brown shuffle.

I liked David Cook a lot. One of my favorites too. The other music...I think someone should be fired for letting idiots promote stupid music on AI. Dumb.

Now I care even less about who wins. I liked Lacey. Bummer.

terahreu said...

Kiesha is a complete superfreak. Why do I keep seeing her and why do people keep buying her albums. Every time I do see her I think, 'Awe, someone can't afford Lady Gaga.'

Lacy was slightly interesting, but you are right, stop sitting on the job!

Boquinha said...

By the way, Vivian, you're so right on. That must be its purpose! And I agree about the Simon-Ryan thing. VERY uncomfortable. And they did it again!! We should fire them.

And Jess, how funny that Greg does it, too.

Superfreak. Perfect description.