Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Fluff and Time Wasters*

*Blog post title, courtesy of Jessica

Subtitle: "In which I am often perplexed"

They tried to do a clever juxtaposition of an ad for "Clash of the Titans" and the relationship between the contestants and the judges. And they failed. (I am perplexed.)

Dweeb enters the stage. Audience-that-claps-for-anything screams and applauds. (I am perplexed.)

Kara dressed like Paula tonight, donning bulky pearl strands over a silky dress.

Ruben! He has slimmed down A LOT! Nice smile, cute dimples, good voice. Didn't seem quite as good as I remembered. I contemplate whether or not his body fat may be akin to Samson's hair.

Ruben's a vegan! Who knew? Ryan's a dweeb calling Big Mike out and having them stand side by side. (Cue green slime). Seriously, What. A. Dork. (I am perplexed.)

We return from commercial and Ryan introduces the Ford commercial like a dork.

We get to see Mama Garcia. There were two things I enjoyed tonight. This was one of them.

They show a really lame clip of a world premiere where the actors said things. It seemed rather useless. (I am perplexed.)

And, folks, we're 18 minutes in at this point.

Lee says you've got to always do your best every time. No, no, no, Lee. Lee apparently missed Kara's memo that says you don't. She's fired.

Ryan says to Casey, "I hate to get in a serious mode here, but I have to tell you to sit. You're safe." Such. A. Dork!

Randy then gives Aaron advice on how to sing about being in love when you're 16 and haven't ever been in love . . . think of how you love your parents and things. "Do that, but twisted." Twisted is the right word for it. (I am perplexed.)

Aaron is safe and someone from his family inexplicably turns his back so we can, presumably, read the back of his jacket, which we can't see at all. (I am perplexed.)

Holy Moses, this is tedious.

Siobhan talked. I fell asleep.

Randy wore an elephant brooch yesterday and an eagle emblem today. He is either an animal lover or a not-so-closeted Republican. (I am perplexed.)

Katie is in the bottom 3 and Simon is frusTRATed. (He is also annoyed that Ryan is in his personal space. Hell, I'm annoyed that Ryan is in his personal space).

Next week's theme comes from the Lennon/McCartney songbook. Yay!

Justin Bieber, or some 7-year-old boy (not sure which), is in the audience and Ryan talks to him. Point? I don't know. (I am perplexed.)

Usher performs. He has some Michael Jackson-like moves. What he and his dancers did was totally inappropriate for a family show, so we fast forwarded. This is rated PG, right? Because that looked like some NSFW viral video. So therefore . . . (I am perplexed.)

Didi looks wary of Ryan's questions and who can blame her. Didi is in the bottom 3.

After a stupid fake-out, Big Mike picks Ryan WAY UP off the ground. It was like watching my frustrations being worked out on stage. I bet Ryan never pulls a fake-out with Mike again. This was the 2nd of 2 things I enjoyed tonight. So, basically, I'm about done.

Tim and Andrew stand together. So predictable.

Kara is also genuinely perplexed tonight. She is perplexed by Tim and his ever-present smile and how it seems to reflect that he doesn't take anything they say seriously. I think he really doesn't.

So, we have Tim, Katie, Didi, and the useless 3rd stool.

Boots and a spring dress? I'm breaking out my sandals. (I am perplexed.)

They send Katie back so Ryan can have a stool.

Before we cut to commercial, Didi and Tim are uncertain of their fate; therefore, Tim will smile and give 2 thumbs up. Mystifying.

They issue a strobe lighting warning. (About this, they warn people. But inappropriate, gyrating dance moves? Not so much.)

Diddy Dirty Money? Isn't that Sean Puffy Combs? Or wait, is it P. Diddy? (I am perplexed.)

Let's evaluate the lyrics of the guest performances so far:

"Blah, blah, blah" and "Hello. Good morning."

Really? (I am perplexed.)

Sean P. Diddy Puffy Combs Dirty Money or whatever his name is now does a little singing and dancing with what appears to be some of Jesse James' mistresses. And I can't quite tell . . . is this supposed to be provocative? A 'Thriller' remake? And are those supposed to be teens in hoodies? Dementors? (I am perplexed.)

R&B has apparently gotten so bad and so stupid that it consists of strobe lighting, smoke, sunglasses, lots and lots of back up dancers all over the stage, and one singer shouting out, "Make some noise!" so that people will clap.

Diddy Dirty Money is a camera hog.

Didi is out and Tim is safe. Tim's friends, like the rest of America, are shocked.

Didi sings for the save. It's way too early for anyone to seriously think the judges are going to use it or even pretend to think they'll use it. I like that they can choose any song they've sung so far. She did a nice job. I like the timbre of her voice. She did so much better than she did yesterday. She really should've stuck with this kind of singing and song choice.

Didi leaves and we are subjected to more tedious Tim performances. And, aside from being perplexed, I hate teeny bopper voters tonight.


John said...

Ryan's space invading is REALLY annoying, but it's not just that. There's an air about Ryan that's different lately, like a thinly-veiled unconscious anger that seems to permeate his whole persona lately, especially his voice and gesturing.

I'm thinking this is a workaholic, type A personality who is evading some suppressed issues that are coming to a head, and it could get ugly. Simon's just a convenient target for deflecting some of his anger and control issues.

katie said...

This is the first time I have actaully sat in front of AI this season to watch, and that was limited to the last 15 min or so of the production. My thoughts...Stacy is right, this is really boring this year. My other comment to my husband, 'hey, if my butt was bigger, I could dance with these guys.' That was all it seemed to be, wagging their hind ends about the stage.

Jimmy said...

Let's sum up the entire season with "Weird, not to mention horrible."

While we're still firing folks...The Clash of the Titans tie-in was, well, weird, not to mention horrible.

Boquinha said...

John, there IS something up with Ryan this year. I am NOT enjoying him at all. Maybe he's jealous of Simon's fiancé? I don't know, but something is very off. If your theory holds true, this season could be about to get very interesting and not in a good way.

Katie, your comment TOTALLY cracked me up. I do have to say, though, that if you give it another chance, listen to Crystal. This week was NOT indicative of her best stuff. She's so much better than that. Plus, next week is Lennon and McCartney, so the guest appearance (whoever that may be) can't be worse than the tail wagging!

Jimmy, excellent summary! Yes, that guy? Totally fired. That was SO SO stupid.

Dr. Mark said...

Tim is this year's Sanjaya, only A.I. doesn't get credit for keeping someone from an underrepresented group "employed" each week. Again, Tim's playing with house money, so why get too serious.

It's like Cole on New Scrubs: Dude, I'm Teflon!

Ryan's probably mad because Simon is leaving for his own show and leaving the dweeb behind.

J Fo said...

The Fluff and Time Wasters are why I really just fast forward through most results shows. Glad to have given you a title!

The whole thing is just getting weirder and weirder each week!

Boquinha said...

Let's hope the Beatles-ish theme helps things this week.

And Mark, Tim IS like Cole on New Scrubs!

Also, that is an excellent point about Simon leaving Ryan behind. I hadn't thought of that.

April (Thorup) Oaks said...

I like the teeny boppers voting. I like the sweet cute contestants. I don't think Tim is good enough to keep staying in above others, but I love that he keeps smiling. Good for him!

I thought Didi had a lot of potential and it's sad to see her go. I think she might have gotten more votes if she didn't seem so stressed the night before. Who knows.

Thanks for the recap!

Shawn said...

I'm bored already. This season is such a let down following last season where I thought the talent was incredible. The show just feels different and it's not as engaging. Almost like they're trying too hard. I'm afraid it's hit its peak and this is the sad decline. Randy knows only four phrases: Dog . . . .; So listen up . . . ; It not you, its the song (like some bad break up); and, well, i guess he only has 3 phrases. Kara only get more obnoxious as the show goes on. Ellen doesn't add much. She the most level headed and sober. And she is incredibly funny. But she doesn't have the draw power. And Simon acts as though he can't wait for the season to be over. He looks so bored.

Bottom line: So listen up, Once the kids are in bed on Tuesday I watch the Biggest Loser, dog. I have Idol on DVR but for some reason, I don't watch. I guess its just doesn't do it for me, for you, for the show.

Vivian said...

I thought it might be too late, but I saw some other 4/05 commenters, so....I am so done with the 'fluff and time wasters' that I just fast forward to the last 5 minutes. Just tell me who is leaving and Stacy will fill me in on the rest.
I really like Didi's voice. I think she made some poor song choices and let her nerves/confidence get the best of her. I'm sorry to see her go.
Re: Tim's smile. I think he totally gets what they are saying but has the: you-can't-make-me-cry attitude. I think he is genuinely happy to be there, knowing what an opportunity it is for him to even be in it. He is getting some great tutoring and having the time of his life. I don't like the teeny boppy vote and Tim is well passed his time to go, but I'm with April on liking some amount of sweet/cute. Not everyone has to be edgy.

Boquinha said...

Didi really does sound great. I think her issue was song choice.

Shawn! Impressive bottom line. Love the "for me, for you" part. :P

Vivian, it's never too late for you to comment! I agree with you about Didi's voice and her poor song choices. I'm sorry to see her go, too. So far, the only one I've been happy to see leave over the past several weeks has been Paige. Ugh.