Stream of Consciousness on Elimination Night

Our first "real" elimination night, when the cream of the audition season start to sing to themselves, "I think I'd better leave right now." David Cook showed them how The Rolling Stones should sound on Idol, and then O-whatshername showed us how a pretty blond with serious guitar chops can get a recording deal. Hint: it's not about the singing. Also, She-ra showed us how someone can try to copy Lady Gaga (not well, mind you), Autotune most of her out-of-tune vocals (a pox on you, T-Pain), put some TVs on top of her dancers, grab the Beastie Boys' 100% honky rapper rejects and give them a guest appearance, don a Native American headdress for seemingly no other reason than to remove any semblance of decency, and somehow end up performing on American Idol. I swear, half the "artists" they bring on stage, who are on the radio, would get laughed out of the A.I. audition room without even singing a note for the judges.

Then we were left to wonder if Lacey's head is heavier on one side than the other, causing her to counterbalance it with a ginormous flower thing. And then I watched the judges decide what to eat after the show rather than consider saving Lacey in the end. C'mon. We all knew they'd never use it this soon. They'll save it for a while and then use it a week or two before they can't any more. Meanwhile, the judges will pretend to discuss the contestants that are eliminated each week as they "sing for their lives." Not my favorite feature of the show, by the way.

The Bottom 3 didn't really surprise me at all. I'm continually surprised, however, that Tim "Milquetoast" Urban keeps hanging on each week. I'm still weighing out the relative merits of Urban v. Paint Drying. Of course, if next week's theme is Easy Listening of the 1960s I may have to eat my words.

(Did any of that make sense? I've lost the will to care that much. Please, American Idol. Save my enthusiasm!)