The Girls Sing On My Birthday

Isn't that nice? How special am I. I am loving that Idol is on tonight. Happy birthday to me! It's a lovely way to wrap up a nice day and evening. Thank you, friends and family, for the phone calls (I even got one from my bloggy friend!! I am SO excited!!), emails, chats, texts, presents, and general thoughtfulness. I really love birthdays and love it when my family and friends help make it special. So, THANK YOU!!

For those still wondering what to do for me for my birthday, please feel free to read my recap from yesterday as well as this one and comment. I'm loving writing recaps again and, well, I heart comments.

And thank you, female Idols, for giving me 6 out of 10 decent performances to enjoy this evening. Boo-yah!

Let's begin.

We start with a rant. <>I'm so sick of the stupid chit-chat filler at the top of the program. TEDIOUS. Heaven help us next week when there are 4 less contestants to perform. < / rant>

Ryan said, "Miss Degeneres." I heard, "Mister Generous." Very confusing.

Favorites are marked with asterisks.

*Crystal Bowersox - "As Long As I Can See The Light"*
For all our readers who are wondering what ailment had her in the hospital (I am a sucker for Hollywood gossip) . . . rumor has it she has diabetes, so the doc in the house is guessing low blood sugar. I can only imagine how hard it must be to manage it with the schedule they keep. But Crystal's a tough cookie, unlike her square brother, so she'll be alright. She was, in a word, awesome. Awesome! I'm not the least bit nervous for her for two reasons: 1. she is awesome and 2. she is confident. Love her. Simon says he "misunderestimated" her. That reminded me of one of those "Before and After" Jeopardy clues. It also kind of reminded me of Paula. But it also could be a word. I mean, maybe he didn't underestimate her enough? Anyway, she's a cool breezer and despite the fact that she may have confused some voters tonight by alternately holding up 1 finger and then a peace sign, I think she'll stick around. I don't think anyone will think she was encouraging votes for Haeley. Not that it would matter. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Note to contestants: Ditch the finger thing. It only looks stupid.

And, whoa, check out Idol messing with the order coming down the stairs. Reverse order! Oooooh. Aaaaaah.

Haeley Vaughn - "The Climb"
She's so off. So very off. Cute girl, but oh was that painful. And, after hearing the first three judges lay into her, Simon doesn't want to make it worse or anything, so he does. That man is so arrogant, that he has to show everyone how cute and clever he thinks he is at the expense of the contestants' feelings. Jerk. Haha, Simon, we get it. It's ironic. She sings "The Climb" but she "falls." You're so funny. How is that helpful?

Lacy Brown - "Kiss Me"
It was better than this past week. And I want to like her. But she's boring, dull, and flat. Ugh.

Katie Stevens - "Put Your Records On"
She has a great voice. The judges give crappy advice. What more can I say? And, why, praytell, does a 17-year-old have to know artists under 20? When I was 17, I listened to They Might Be Giants, Chicago, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Cars, Depeche Mode, and more. Maybe Katie just has sophisticated taste like I do. :)

*Didi Benami - "Lean on Me"*
I actually don't care for this song, but I like Didi and I love her voice. The stained glass window background was really Velveeta, but that's Idol for you. It was flat and it's generally an easy and boring song, but she did stuff with it. Apparently not enough. Which brings me to my next rant/whine.

I MISS PAULA! Having 4 harsh judges sucks. Where is the softness? The kindness? The compassion? Ellen's super nice, but no one has the genuine kindness of Paula Abdul. I really miss her. And I'm not one of these late-to-the-party whiners. Read my past recaps. I have ALWAYS hearted Paula. Now, all we get it stuff like: "That wasn't good, but you're nice, but that was really, really horrible, like I-want-to-poke-my-ears-out horrible, but you're nice, but holy mother of all that is holy, it was bad, it was so so bad, like horrible bad, but you're nice, but you really, really suck so bad and I just can't emphasize enough how horrible you are. I mean, really, really horrible. You're nice, but you suck." That and Simon's little word plays that he thinks are so cute. "It sounded like your cat meowing didn't stop." Argh. Bring back Paula. At least she'd stand up and dance. I miss her energy on the show. The chi is so badly unbalanced this year.

They reduced Didi to tears. Someone found our blog today with the search terms "Didi Benami harsh judges." Indeed.

Michelle Delamor - "With Arms Wide Open"
Seriously, this they like? I was so bored by her, I took time during her performance to count how many more I'd have to sit through. As Mark says, it was lackluster. So, of course, the judges praised it. Seriously? And they thought she looked fabulous? I think she looked like a wedding bell and a biker chick at the same time.

More ranting: And don't you love how the judges always try to soften the blow with a "You look fantastic!"? Really? That's supposed to help? These kids hope to become singing sensations, so I'm sure the judges' fashion comments are just what the idols are hoping to hear. I mean, I know you need the whole package, but softening a "Wow, you are a really crappy singer and I don't know why we brought you here" with a "Fab outfit" doesn't cut it. Especially from a guy with three t-shirts. By the way, anyone out there watch Ellen? I'm just wondering if she changes clothes from her daytime show to the live taping of Idol. I mean, why bother? But really. What happens if they sound bad AND look bad? "You sound awful, but you look, well, that's awful, too."

Back to Michelle. ARGH. This is where I hit pause to rant to my family. The judges essentially told Michelle the stupidest thing I've heard yet. If you make a song unrecognizable but you're believable, apparently that's okay?!? What?!? What kind of crappy advice is that? They're so useless. And there are 4 of them. Ugh.

Anyway, I don't get it. I don't think Michelle is all that. Andrew and others have done much better than she has and they got criticized. She got praised. Mark thinks it's because she followed less-than-stellar performances. I think they're just crazy. Our 7-year-old says, "Geez. I wish I was a judge on American Idol. I'd make it so much better." I truly believe that.

And of course since Randy didn't love it and then all 3 judges after him did love it, you know he's thinking, "Oh crap." If Ryan had given him any air time, you know he would've said, "Oh. If I'd gone 4th, I would've said I liked it, too." Follower. That's why they place him first.

Apparently, I have a lot to say about Michelle's performance. Did. Not. Like. Ding Dong. Vroom vroom.

*Lilly Scott - "A Change is Gonna Come"*
Anyone else thinks she gives smoldering looks a la Constantine to the camera? Yeah. Me, too. It was GREAT, but Kara was "riveted?" She's so over-the-top dramatic. And Simon, "Best ever?" Um, HELLO? Remember Crystal? Not to take away from Lilly's performance. Lilly is seriously AWESOME and I dig her whole indie vibe. She was fantastic tonight, but the judges need to chill and try to keep their wits about them.

*Katelyn Epperly - "The Scientist"*
She has an AMAZING voice. And, again, for the love of all things that are, she was not pitchy. Nor was she corny. What is wrong with you?! You 4. Honestly.

And a little note to the ladies (and the camera workers): I'm no prude, but your skirts are too short. You're on a teeny, tiny round stage with audience all around you and cameras following your every move. Think. Every one of you who wore shorts skirts tonight? I almost saw your underwear. Not cool on live TV. And yo, camera people, don't pan up. Duh.

*Paige Miles - "Walk Away"*
She was great. Simon says he's "frustRATed" again, but I think he just doesn't pay attention. That guy checked out like 2 seasons ago. How the heck does he know how Paige did when he was bent over scratching his foot the whole time?! Simon, SIT UP. They are still paying you ungodly sums to judge this show. X-factor hasn't started yet. Idol. IDOL is still airing. And here's how I know you're not listening or paying attention. You keep contradicting yourself. All over the place. That's what's so frustRATing. I will try to keep my cool as I tell you this. You just told Paige that for 2 weeks in a row, she's been bad. Uh, reminder -- last week you said she HAD THE BEST VOICE IN THE COMPETITION!! YOU are frustRATing.

*Siobhan Magnus - "Think"*
I love this girl. I love her voice. To echo Randy (yes, it happens now and then), "It was DOPE!" She's whimsical and bold all at the same time and she can sing. Few people can pull of all of those things at once. I love this girl. And that mohawk look? Very Sinead O'Connor (who I think is stunning). Siobhan? HOT. Love her. And again I say, very, VERY Audrey Tatou. Love her, too.

Going home: Haeley and Lacy