Thursday, March 25, 2010

Stacy's Thoughts During Elimination Night

Tonight's post will be like taking a little trip inside my thoughts. Consider it a Field Trip of sorts as either penance or reward for watching the crap that is this show this season.

INTRODUCTION

This over-the-top dramatic intro montage is like a movie trailer for some kind of summer blockbuster hit. I bet they'd call it, "THE TOUR."

However, the audience laughing as the montage wrapped up kinda ruined the effect.

They're really making a big deal out of the tour this year. I've always wondered in the past why they don't make it more clear that the Top 10 (and not the Top 12) are the ones who go on tour. Something has changed this year.

Stupid save. Don't bother.

Kara is trying (unsuccessfully) to be like Paula. I bet the producers are kicking themselves over that decision. I can think of about 20 people who should be fired before Paula. I should be in charge.

GROUP NUMBER - "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go."

Oh crap. The group number is back. Whoever brought that back should be fired. Pronto.

I bet they brought it back to plug that TOP TEN tour. I bet ticket sales are down and they want people to attend the concerts.

In which case, they really should not have done this group number.

Crystal is so hoping she gets the surprise boot tonight so she doesn't have to go on tour. Snapping her fingers and fluttering her hand at her heart? I don't think so.

Why the close up on Michael's hand? 11 people on stage and we have to see chubby fingers? Director guy? Fired.

The stage is dripping in mounds and mounds of Velveeta.

The heart flutter hand motion is so dumb. Choreographer. So fired.

This is so lip synced, too. Also dumb.

Didi fell a little. It's okay, though. Didn't affect the sound at all. (Refer to above thought).

I think I might be too old to watch this show and enjoy it.

I used to think George Michael was so cute when he was the lead singer of Wham. That feathered, blond hair. . . Those two hoop earrings . . . Now he's just gross.

FORD COMMERCIAL

The one who has the most believable, commercial look in these commercials is Katie.

I secretly think that when they call someone "commercial," it sounds wicked insulting.

Oooh, a ball pit!

RESULTS

I've never seen them hype the tour so much. Bet they're worried that no one will want to go with such a lame TOP TEN. That's a legitimate worry.

So. Much. Chatter.

Casey's Lyrics, Siobhan's boss's beard, Katie's Dad's viewing habits (or lack thereof), Mike's baby . . . perhaps an hour is too long for the results show. Producers? Fired.

Camera shows 3 stools as Ryan says: "Soon the stools will be filled."

To which I say: "LIAR!"

Like Vivian has pointed out, the stools will be filled with 2 contestants plus Ryan as he interviews them. Thank you, Vivian.

I like the detectives and the cowboys. Oh wrong show. I'm sorry. I fell asleep while Siobhan was talking. It's positively lulling. It's the auditory equivalent of watching paint dry.

I love Ellen's pen comment. I forgot to say that in my post yesterday. Oooh, I know. I'll put it in this one tonight.

2 people stand--Lee and Casey. Oh wait! 4 people stand--also Tim and Paige. Well, this one's a head scratcher. So predictable. Two are safe, two are not. You can't fool me, Idol people!

I wonder if Casey and Lee kept standing during the commercial since no one told them to sit down. Ryan? Fired. Again.

Next week's theme is R&B/Soul. YES!

MILEY CYRUS PERFORMS

I wonder if the billowing smoke might help her sound better?

Nope.

Wow, her hair is long. And with that dress, it somehow reminds me of a mermaid. Like Daryl Hannah in Splash. Which is so creepy.

Wow, her singing is really bad--just like when she sang on Idol last year. Idol must be hurting badly. But don't forget to buy tickets for the tour!

Someone didn't cue the cameraman that she was going to start that strange head banging, so it looked like she was falling on the stage. That may have been more interesting and less weird than whatever it is she was actually doing.

The odd head banging together with that prom gown reminds me of drunk girls at prom. It's not pretty.

BACK TO RESULTS

Ryan: "We're gonna fill that 3rd seat."

Me (snickering): "No, they're not." (I recognize that I may need to find a new hobby soon).

Didi is so reminiscent of Brooke White.

What's going on behind that backdrop screen--is that a cave?

Didi can't hear the judges and Ryan had to ask for more volume. Bet that guy gets fired. Or not. It's only been about 9 seasons of the same story and he's still there.

My gender-sensitive readers are going to notice that I keep using "he" when I assume someone has messed up and fire said person. I'm just trying to lower the glass ceiling.

Obviously the first few people on the first row are safe (otherwise why would they start with them?). Fast forward, fast forward.

I love Tivo.

Clearly, it's going to be down to Katie and Andrew.

Kara says, "What?" They can't hear either. So fired.

See? No one is in the 3rd seat.

Oh please no singing for the save.

This season has jumped the shark.

A JONAS KID AND SOME GIRL

That suit is shiny.

Disney singers suck. Really badly.

It was all a little "Telemundo meets Christian Radio."

Their jerky movements are so manic! It's like they jumped over the crescendo and went right from ppp to fff. And fast!

The girls in the audience go mad. Seriously? I don't see it.

Wow, that's the same guy who "judged?!?" He talks!

BACK TO RESULTS

Katie's safe.

I don't want to hear either of these two sing again.

That was the approximately 23rd mention of the TOP TEN tour. A "We know they suck, but please BUY TICKETS" sign would be more subtle.

Please don't bother with the singing.

Oh good.

What's a "roller coaster of a lifetime?"

Don't sing us out. Don't sing us out.

She's gonna sing.

Ryan: "Get ready."

Indeed. Run!

I wonder if Simon has chapped lips.

Oh good. They switched her song so we don't have to hear last night's crapfest. Give that guy a raise.

Happy now, gender-sensitive readers? I gave HIM a raise.

Is she chewing gum?

POST POST

Why aren't I in bed?

12 comments:

Boquinha said...

I wonder if Tim will slide on stage in the TOP TEN tour?

Dr. Mark said...

Am I to gather that "THE TOUR" doesn't interest you? I had the same thought about Crystal. Right now she's looking for a loophole in her A.I. agreement so she can win the competition but bypass ridiculously choreographed group numbers on tour or elsewhere.

Good luck, Crystal.

Lena said...

Okay, I didn't watch it and I can't tell from your post who got kicked off, lol. I can look it up I suppose but I just don't care that much! My best guess is that Casey and Tim were put in the bottom and Katie was the third? So Casey is out? I can't even remember who that is, lol and I watched it on Tuesday too! I thought Katie was off pitch the entire song on Wed- awful. Peter even came out of the bedroom to see what the heck was going on. Mark, you are so right about Crystal. She is going to be hating the tour.

Jimmy said...

I'm just so glad that I didn't stop reading before getting to the part about drunk girls at prom.

Absolutely loved this.

J Fo said...

I thought that Miley had fallen down in her creepy wedding dress thing. I agree with the firing.

Honestly I didn't really watch any of this. I fast forwarded until the end. The results show is such fluff and time wasters.

bythelbs said...

"Telemundo meets Christian Radio"=awesome.

Dr. Mark said...

Miley made me think of a drunk bride at her wedding reception.

Is it terrible that I keep hoping that billowing smoke is the Smoke Monster from "Lost"?

Vivian said...

I am coming late to the party because I had to watch the recorded shows before I checked your blog. I didn't want to spoil the surprise. So on point with the lame top 10 comment. If they keep singing, how will they ever get anyone to buy a ticket? Quite the conundrum. An hour is too long for the results show. I had to get to a little league game, so I watched at 2x speed. So predictable depending where people sit and when (and with whom they stand up)--3x--shiny suits and wedding dresses are a blur--and 15 minutes later--no surprise after all: Paige going home.

Robynne said...

I don't know what it is with the season, but I am NOT enjoying it. Sure, there are some good singers, but I am sick to death of the judges, the same 'ole gimmicks, etc. I am almost forcing myself to watch each week, and fast forwarding A LOT. UGH.

Boquinha said...

Lena, no! Not Casey. :) Paige was eliminated.

Jimmy and everyone, thanks for the comments! I stay up late writing these posts and love to get up the next morning and look for comments!

Jess, "Fluff and Time Wasters?" I might have to use that as a post title one of these times. :P Wish you lived closer. It'd be fun to watch together.

Lbs, THANK YOU. I was particularly proud of that description. :P

Vivian, I am always excited to read your Idol thoughts. An hour is way too long for the results show. Agreed. And it is predictable. I'm getting to where I'm noticing foreshadowing in The Amazing Race with how they edit what the teams say, but somehow they still keep me guessing. Ryan Seacrest? Not so much.

Robynne, the judges are SO SO SO annoying this season. I think they're pandering to the tweener crowd and doing their darndest to get us 30- and 40- and up- somethings sick of this show (they're doing well). My guess is that they're hoping we'll shift loyalties to X-Factor when it starts and the tweener will stick with Idol and they'll have TWO hit shows. I feel so manipulated.

Robynne said...

Interesting Stacy, I see there may be a method to what they're doing and it's not just me!! Annoying!!

terahreu said...

SOOOO happy NOT to hear that song again. Pain, pure pain. I am glad they made an exception and let her choose another song. How much humiliation can one girl endure?

Still don't know who is booted for this week. There are too many to choose from.